I'll Always Run With You
by OneGirlaMillionBooks
Summary: When Eren Jaeger is accused of crimes against the people of the walls and being a threat to humanity, he is once again sentenced to death. However this time there is no fair trial, the King himself wants Eren dead. Having no choice but to flee to the abandoned wall Maria to protect everyone around him, he faces the barren world of the titans alone.
1. Chapter 1 - The Remains Of Before

**Hello Readers!**

**Welcome to my first fanfiction of Attack on Titan!**

**So this is actually my first real fanfiction from any fandom so please excuse me if some parts are a bit ropey but I hope you guys can enjoy it none the less!**

**This is an Eremika fanfiction (with a few other main ships I personally adore) so If you are here for some Ereri action you are in the wrong place, my apologies. **

**NOTE: This story since release has be updated to correct many grammar and spelling mistakes (19/03/2015)**

**This Chapter was fantastically beta read by Kubiyo!**

**Disclaimer - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN. THIS STORY IS PUBLISHED AS A FANFICTION.**

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><p>Chapter 1 - The Remains of Before<p>

It's been 3 months since I turned into a titan to fight Annie.

The victory of the battle was nothing to celebrate, however. Hundreds of citizens were killed by the disruption we caused in the Stohess District and half the city was left falling apart. The worst part is I did it. I was too obsessed with trying to catch Annie I didn't once think about the innocent people around me.

All of this disruption did not go unnoticed, of course. I was once again taken to court, trailed, and just barely made it out without any serious punishments. I have Captain Levi to thank for that. Death was considered but the Survey Corps' arguments assured that there was no need. However, execution is still an option in the future. The court told me, if I ever assume my titan form without confirmation from the military or leave the sight of Captain Levi again, I will be shot; these are orders from the king himself.

After the trail, I had to be kept in the Survey Corps HQ for a while, just until things died down. I killed family members of citizens and soldiers; there was certainly no shortage of people baying for my blood. Eventually, people forgot their hatred and started to grieve. The world moved on. It's my first expedition since the battle and I can't say I'm excited. I'm worried I won't be able to control myself.

Captain Levi keeps telling me he will kill me himself if I transform when we're out, he doesn't want his reputation to be the man who can't control a 15-year-old boy from having a tantrum, after all.

I walk over to my horse in the yard and begin to equip my gear. Still fits.

My other squad members are all doing the same but they're not the ones who haven't been outside the grounds in 3 months. I've had to stand by and watch my friends go outside the walls and always come back cold faced and defeated. Jean, Levi, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Ymir, Krista. They all go, but never me. Then there's Mikasa and Armin. That pains me the most, never knowing if they're coming back. If either of them died, I wouldn't want to live anymore.

I remember Armin telling me that Mikasa said the same thing to him when I was presumed dead, that she didn't want to live I think I wouldn't give up like that so easily, but doubt is a powerful thing.

I jump up on my horse and join the group that gathered by the gate. I move between Levi and Mikasa and smile at her, but she just sighs and looks away. She didn't want me to come; she kept saying I was still too weak.

Mikasa's always been there for me but she's been acting different for the past few months. I don't like it.

I brush the thought off and concentrate on the road ahead.

"Attention!' Levi commands. "Our main goal for this mission is to clear out the large herd of Titans spotted south of Trost. It's fairly simple, compared to past missions. So if any of you brats mess this up I swear to god it won't be the titans you will be worried about!"

Everyone looks at each other cautious by his words before starting our ride towards the gates.

I give a quick glance towards Mikasa again. She continues to avoid my eyes, she has doubt in me. She shouldn't.

I won't mess this up. I will kill every single fucking titan I see. You will see I'm not weak, Mikasa. You will see.

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><p><strong>First Chapter Guys! What did you think? I know a lot hasn't happened but it's just background information about where the story is compared to the time line. The next chapter will be a battle and maybe I'll throw I'm some POV's from Mikasa. Reviews are appreciated. <strong>

**Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Memories of Before

**DISCLAMER- I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHT TO ATTACK ON TITAN **

**New Chapter Guys! Think this one's better than the other one maybe? I worked harder on this one for sure. Like I promised I put some fighting and a little more erenxmikasa in this one which was harder than I expected to write! Anyway enjoy :)**

**Chapter 2 - The Memories of Before**

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><p>The thrill of being outside the walls again begins to take over. My worries of losing control overrun by the adrenaline pumping through my veins.<p>

Our squad riding out across the grassy plains, this is it I think, back on track. I can't keep the smile off my face and to be honest I don't care.

I close my eyes taking it all in. The wind rustling through my hair, the horse's hooves in time with my own heart beat. Being here nearly makes me forget what exactly we were doing.

Nearly.

"Eren!" Mikasa calls from my side, interrupting my moment.

My eyelids snap open. So much for forgetting.

"Damn it Mikasa, can't I just have 5 minutes peace?" I say my voice slightly venomous.

I was right, ever since the Annie thing she had been constantly on my back. Of course I care for her but its like were the same person. No space at all.

"You can't just lose focus out here; you of all people know that. What would happen if you were in your own little world when a titan came?" She questions. "I would have to save you again." Mikasa warns and I know she's thinking of all the times before.

'_I'll protect you' _

That's what she said on the day Trost fell. The day I nearly died when she couldn't save me. Besides she should still focus on something else other than this obsession with protection.

"Mikasa I'm not your little brother. I don't need you around me like a hawk." I say my voice slowly increasing in volume.

I look her in the eyes just in time to see hurt flash across her face. I immediately regret the wording of what I said. My temper is unpredictable and I hate it when I take it out on Mikasa.

We both look sadly into each other's eyes and I can feel an apology on the tip of my tongue. Her brows furrow as she knows that no matter how hard I try the words _'I'm sorry'_ will never come. I'm too stubborn which is one of the things that make us so different. Mikasa's so kind and protective to me and yet all I can return is my anger and hate for the world around me.

The dreadful feeling of guilt begins to rise up inside me as we continue to stare at one another. Why can't I just apologise?

After awhile of mixed eye contact she's the one to look away which only makes the guilt worse.

I look down at the grass below my horse trying to avoid staring at her but I can't help it. I look up again expecting to find her still by my side but only find everyone else's eyes trailed on me. Its obvious mine and Mikasa's little spat has not gone unnoticed.

I look at Armin who is behind me and he looks away.

Good going Eren. Well done getting everyone to hate you again.

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><p>I end up riding on my own for awhile. No one wants to talk to me after before. Mikasa had gone forward with Jean. My chest pangs at the sight. God I hate that guy, too fucking smug all the time.<p>

A horse darts in front of my gaze distracting me from wanting to push Jean off his horse.

"Quiet loud Jaeger" Levi remarks pulling his horse alongside me.

"What?" I ask confused.

"That fight you and you girlfriend had? Very loud."

"Hey! Were not anything like that! Were-"

I pause to think. What actually are we? Family? Friends? Companions?. I mean we are like family but we aren't. She's kind of like a childhood friend or a slightly annoying loyal pet dog.

Wait what? A pet dog? Geez what am I saying? I have no idea why I can't come up with a good answer.

"Well I don't care if you married just keep your traps shut. This is a mission in Titan territory...and you're giving me a headache" Levi says snootily.

"Yes Sir" I reluctantly say.

He grunts before riding back to the front of the squad. What he said begins to set off a chain of thoughts in my head. Levi has it all wrong, me and Mikasa, we are only siblings.

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><p>An hour from dusk is when everyone starts to get restless. We haven't seen a Titan all day, extremely rare for the route to the Trost gate. It's not just the riders either that are beginning to get spooked. Every now and again different horses keep rearing and making distressed noises. Something's not right. I can feel it in the air.<p>

Levi continues to guide us to the gate regardless of the whispers about how the titans are waiting for us around every corner.

We are less than a mile away from the gate when we hear it. The low rumbling roar echoes around the plains and the group halts. Everyone waits in silence for something to happen but the only thing that moves is the lone trees branches dotted here and there.

"M-maybe it was just our imaginations?" Sasha asks her voice shaking.

"We all imagined the same thing did we? "Jean jokes his voice not completely steady. The squad carries on, slowly over time grouping tighter together.

Less than 500 metres away from the gate the roar sounds again this time louder and more distinct. My horse stumbles around into Armin's and I quickly calm it down. They say animals can always detect danger. I think this is just what's happening now.

"That was louder!" Connie points out, being obvious.

"And Closer," Krista adds trying to not to show her fear.

"We carry on!" Levi announces completely ignoring everyone's cries and shouts.

"You've got to be kidding right? It's coming towards us! We should get closer to the walls and use our Gear while we can!" Connie cries looking helplessly at Armin and me.

"He's right," says a clear voice.

Mikasa, I was beginning to forget she was here.

"We are on open ground if whatever this thing is attacks us here there's a strong possibility the whole squad will be wiped out. The walls are our only hope," She calmly states.

"Miss Ackerman I think you will find your judgement is not needed. Like I said we carry on," Levi says. It's like he doesn't even care what we are all on about.

Oh wait it's because he doesn't, my mistake.

"But Captain if we don't- "Mikasa begins but she is interrupted by an ear piercing scream from the back of the group. I quickly turn around to see a Shocked Krista on the floor, her horse running away into the slowly fading light.

"Krista!" Ymir franticly shouts as she rides towards to tumbling girl.

"Ymir don't! Run to the walls, all of you!" Krista shrieks, eyes frozen in terror at the blackness of the night behind her.

Jean gallops past wearing a panicked look on his face violently shouting at the still distant Krista. Why isn't she standing? Whatever that thing we heard howl isn't here...yet. Jean is almost at Krista when the final howl echoes. This time there is not confusion on where the sound comes from. No debate on what to do. We all ride at full pelt towards the walls when the 30 ft class titan steps forward from the darkness.

"Switch to Manoeuvre gear the minute you can make out the wall!" Levi calls.

The group begins to spread apart the closer we get to the walls, well the closer we think we are anyway.

The night has quickly caught up too. Not giving us any mercy to prepare torches or lanterns. Running blind in titan territory is probably the worst thing we could do but giving the situation we have no choice.

I can almost hear Levi grinding his teeth at the fact we've gone off track on the mission.

"Hooks at the ready!" Levi commands.

The clicks of metal are heard signalling everyone is obligating.

"5," Levi says.

What is he doing...?

"Wait! How do you know the wall is that far?" Armin shouts.

"4."

I look across at Mikasa who looks as confused as I am.

"Armin's right we could be jumping to our deaths!" Sasha complies.

"3,"

We might be riding into a group of titans...

"C-captain?" Connie stutters.

"2,"

We might land in open ground...

"Captain!" Jean protests

"1,"

"Levi this is too risky!" I scream.

"Jump!" Levi orders, his voice booming across the group.

I yell as my hooks blindly shoot out into the emptiness in front of me.

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><p>This is it, I think. Being squashed by a titan is the way I'm leaving this world. I close my eyes expecting to fall to the ground from my horse but instead I am greeted by the hard smoothness of rock. The wall.<p>

Relief floods over me as I desperately cling to the surface. I look over to Levi who no surprise also made it. I can't help smiling at him as a desperate thanks but I am only greeted with an emotionless stare.

"Don't thank me yet Jaeger," He says. "Keep climbing all of you! This Titan's a 30 metre class and as you can tell were only 10 metres off the ground!"

Everyone follows the order and we all begin to ascend the steep cracking Cliffs of Wall Rose.

"Krista or Ymir aren't here Captain!" Jean announces. I can hear Sasha weeping down the line and I know Ymir must have gone after Krista in the confusion.

"I should go back down. Maybe-"

"Don't move!" Levi commands.

"I can't hear the Titan anymore sir!" Reiner calls.

"It's there," Mikasa says and Levi grunts in conformation.

I look across to Mikasa and give her half hearted smile. She looks down at the ground and then back at me.

Through the dark I can just about pick out her glistening grey eyes. We stare at each other waiting for a sound, a movement, anything. God, she's making me feel awkward after that spat we had. I should apologise. Plus I'm not feeling too optimistic about what's happening around us. I would feel better dying knowing we weren't stabbing at each other with our eyes.

I shuffle over to her using the balls of my feet and put my hand on her shoulder for balance. I need to apologise if it's the last thing I say. If it's the last thing I do.

My lips are just forming the word sorry but a shock wave from below throws me against the wall and one of my hooks detaches from its grasp.

"Eren!" I hear Mikasa scream. Her hand reaches for mine but she just misses it.

I spin out of control down the wall and luckily, losing a nail in the process, manage to clutch onto a narrow crack.

"I'm okay!" I call back up as my heart hammers against my chest.

I look up and realise that I must have fallen a few metres because I can't see anyone around me.

The moonlight struggles to gleam through the clouds above creating a shadow over the already dark land.

My eyes squint at the darkness below but still no signs of the titan. If it was 30 metres tall then why can't I see its head? It must-

"Jaeger!" Levi shouts as a massive Titan hand snatches below me.

My hands fumble for the gas releases on my gear as I see a flash of blind panic.

I shoot my hooks up the wall but before I can release the gas I am dragged down into the black depths of the night.

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><p>The titan hangs me upside down as I desperately reach for my blades. His grip tightens and I let out a horrific scream of pain as my legs are crushes beneath his fingers causing me to drop my two blades to the floor. I panic realising I can't grasp my other blades.<p>

Where are the others? Do they know?

I struggle against the titan's force but it's no use. He's got me and I'm like my mother 5 years ago. My only hope is other people and their failing just like I did when that bloody smiling Titan ate her.

Hot streams of tears blind my vision as the titan positions me over his mouth. I can't even turn into a Titan I'm that trapped.

I'm still not strong enough!

Memories flash in my head of that day 5 years ago.

"_You're not strong enough Eren" _

"_There's nothing you can do Eren"_

"_Just listen to me for once Eren"_

All those people suffered that day because of me.

My body relaxes as I realise maybe I disserve to die. Maybe it's karma?

I'm sorry Mikasa. I'm sorry Mother. I'm sorry Armin. I've failed you all.

I close my eyes as the titan lets me drop into his mouth. This is it, I think, before her body slams into mine.

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><p>We fall to the ground with her arms wrapped around me as she uses her gas to soften the blow. Unluckily for me I'm the one that hits the ground first.<p>

The Air is knocked out of me and lie gasping on the floor. She leans over on her side too both of us a mess of breathing and panic. The Titan lumbers around and bends down extending its hand. She unsteadily jumps up and runs at the Titans both blades at the ready.

"I will save him over and over again and still not one of you will get him!" She shouts as her blades make contact with outstretched fingers.

" Leave him alone!" She threatens again, swinging the blades up the Titans arms. It's obvious to see she's lost her cool and when that happens she becomes clumsy. Too focused on the titan's left hand she doesn't notice his right coming down from above.

"Look Out!" I scream in distress but it's too late.

Her body is smashed aside by the blow and she goes flying across the ground.

Mikasa's limp body lies still against the wall.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcome and helpful. New chapter should be up in a few days and I'm sorry to say we may lose some characters but shhh spoilers ;)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3 - The Dreams of Before

**Chapter threes finally here! I did say each chapter would be spaced 4 days apart and it's been a week, sorry about that my bad. I have a lot of revision to do for my exams and stuff so i've been a bit behind but I will try to get a routine going.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three - The Dreams of Before **

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><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

"Mikasa!" I choke out, my body going ridged from shock.

Her body lies slumped against the wall. Her face slick with blood from the collision against the stone.

"Mikasa!" I call again but she remains still.

The titan sits on the floor recovering from its steaming injuries. It won't be long now until it regains strength to take out one of us. I fumble in the darkness for my blades which lie scattered around me but instead my hand grasps around a long red flare out of my bag which we use for emergencies.

I throw it into the gap between Mikasa and me as I shakily regain to my feet, the flare lighting up the area in a sinister shade of scarlet.

I'm wasting precious time standing here, for all I know she may have seriously hurt her head or worse she could be-

_Stop It Eren!_ _What are you doing thinking about the worst?_ My head defiantly isn't straight.

I am constantly in her debt for saving me all those times. Not once have I protected Mikasa knowingly. This is the perfect time to repay some of that thanks and here I am panicking? She wouldn't do that.

Pushing aside my doubt, I limp over to Mikasa ignoring the pain that rushes through my crushed legs. Of course their quickly healing but it's not quick enough. My knees buckle halfway and I sprawl across the ground.

_Not now_, I think pushing myself up again.

I dart my head up to the Titan. Its body has stopped steaming. Not good. It's now or never.

Dragging myself, I finally reach Mikasa side and try my best to access the damage. Her head is badly bleeding and her pulse is racing. She's also completely out cold. I rest my head against hers.

"I'm sorry; it's my fault. If only you weren't so god damn stubborn. I'm going to fix this so please just stay put for 5 minutes, "I whisper into her hair."It's all going to be fine, I promise. Just, trust me."

I rest her head on the ground gently looking over her pale Asian face.

Mikasa is all I have and I am all she has. Without each other the world would be broken. She might be dying right now but I can't even tell. The only option is for me to prevent her from coming to anymore harm. I've already caused enough damage.

The roar of the titan shakes the ground we lie on and I know its back on the hunt.

I turn around to face the monster that greets us. It looks down at me, its eyes empty and distant.

The red light from the flare casts over my face as the rage builds up inside me.

The titan's feet begin to move sending shock waves through the earth. Its face is emotionless as his gaze moves from me to Mikasa. The corners of its mouth turn up revealing a wicked smile. I remember learning that Titans don't need to eat to survive. We are not their food, merely their game.

I feel my stomach drop as I realise, I am not its game. Mikasa is.

"I know what you're thinking you piece of Shit!" I scream. My lips turn up into a cocky smile like the titan's as I feel the adrenaline building up to slaughter this thing.

"Well, I guarantee you won't be thinking for long, because you won't have a head to think with!"

I lean my body against the wall as it dawns on me what I must do. I know if I do this, the last moments of my life will be looking down the barrel of a king's gun. However, I know if I don't, then Mikasa's last moments will be in the hands of a Titan and I can't bear the thought of that.

I slowly push myself up and bite hard down on my hand.

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><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

The world is beautiful. Life is beautiful. My back lies against the grass of the blossoming orchard outside wall Maria. I stare up at the clear blue skies above me thinking about nothing and everything. I breathe deeply into my scarf wishing I could freeze this moment in time.

"Mikasa," a familiar voice hollers, getting closer.

Eren runs and throws himself down beside me laughing.

"This is what you spend your time looking at?" He asks, "The sky?"

I catch a glimpse at him from the corner of my eye to find him staring at me, a cheeky smile on his face.

"Nothing wrong with that," I reply elbowing him a little. He makes a fake cry of pain, teasing me.

"Don't you ever think about what's beyond the sky? Beyond the walls?" Eren says, his face lit up.

Does he really want to know what I think?

"Death," I solemnly answer.

His expression drops.

"What do you mean? The Titans? There nothing to be scared of. I bet I could take one down single handed," He boasts.

"Really? You're 9," I point out.

"I would take one down for you..." He says, his voice trailing off.

I wrap my arm round his neck "You won't have to Eren. No Titan will ever get past wall Maria," I say

He stares into my eyes and smiles, touching the bottom of my scarf.

I look down and surprisingly, realise I'm blushing. I hastily open my mouth to say something but the words don't come.

All of a sudden a rumbling roar from behind interrupts us and we both jump up.

"Eren, what's-" I begin to say but when I turn to face him it's not Eren I see. Instead all I see is a titan.

I stumble backwards unable to run as the titan crushes me into the ground with its hand.

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><p>The world around me grows cold and dark as my eyes abruptly snap open to expose the scene before me. Nothing but the harsh night lies beyond my vision.<p>

I lean over to stand up but a blinding pain from my head knocks me back. I lift my hand up to my temple and it comes away with blood. Oh no. _What have I done?_My mind spins out of control every time I attempt anything. Even looking into the distance is difficult. I haven't even given any thought into where I am it's all that confusing.

I feel the area around me and realise I'm at the base of the wall. How long have I been here? Where are the rest of the squad? All I know is with, or without anyone's help, I need to get off the floor. The minute any titan spots me I'm gone.

I manage to shuffle my back up the hard stone so I'm standing. I bite my teeth together trying to ignore the sharp pangs that ripple up my spine when I so much as breathe.

_A idea comes into my head. It's got to be worth a try__,_ I think.

I gently relieve the gas mechanism on my gear to get me up but my feet remain planted on the ground. Great, I think, no gas.I breathe out heavily and slump to the ground. My only hope is that someone else finds me. Where did they all go? I can't remember a thing.

The blood from my head continues to seep from my wounds. The bash to the head isn't exactly a quick fix and I'm debating how long I can keep consciousness. I don't want to go into another nightmare again. My eyelids are already beginning to droop and I can feel my thoughts becoming clouded. I try to keep images clear in the mess of a mindset I have but it's no use.

I'm just about to fade out again but I'm jolted to the side by Eren's Titan form hitting the wall beside me.

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><p>My lungs fill with dust from the wall and I lie on the floor choking. How can Eren be in titan form? He knows if he shifts it's a death sentence. Unless...<p>

It all suddenly comes back to me. The 30 metre class, Christa falling off her horse, me going after Eren and failing. He would only change unless there was no other option to save us, to save me.

The dust slowly clears and I turn my head just enough to see Eren's steaming Titan form leaning on the now misshapen wall. I begin to think the body is dead but his eyes suddenly fly open and he leaps up, charging back into the blackness. I can hear the rumble of struggling steps in the night and then all at once there's nothing. No rumble or roars. No breathing or steaming. Silence.

I shift uncomfortably sending yet more pain through my body. My breath quickens and then I sense movement dead in front of me. A Titan hand comes into view desperately scrabbling about. It gradually moves closer towards my feet and then quickly draws back. I crease my eyebrows in confusion. Was that Eren?

A pair of stabbing yellow eyes quickly tells me it's not Eren but indeed the other Titan. I press myself against the wall and do my best to escape the reach of the advancing hands. I'm like a rabbit squirming in a fox's mouth, I know I can't escape but I still don't stop.

The titan's fingers latch around my legs before I'm dragged backwards away from the wall deeper into the dark.

"Eren!" I scream as horror rockets through me. I've never been this frightened in years but the feeling of being unable to help myself makes me more petrified than death itself. I struggle against the tightness of the titans grasp as it begins to pick me up.

This can't be over. There's another way out, I just have to think - and it's got to be fast. I dart my head around for anything but it's all too dark. All I can do is struggle as the titan's mouth draws ever closer.

I close my eyes not wanting to look when all of a sudden a warm sturdy hand wraps around mine.

"Looks like I'm the one getting you out of this mess Ackerman," A voice says as I'm rapidly pulled out of the Titans grasp.

I find myself in the arms of Levi hanging against the wall just over the Titan, its yellow eyes glowing in anger.

I should be grateful, being saved so close to death, but all I can think about is the disgust I feel from being rescued by this guy.

Wriggling uncomfortably in his grasps, I look around expecting to see Eren. Surely he was the one who warned them I was injured?

"Where's Eren?" I demand.

"Not here," Levi calmly says.

What?

"What do you mean not here? If he's not here you should have got him first, not me!" I rage.

Levi sighs, "He's in titan form judging from the racket that came from down there. I doubt he needs my help. You on the other hand..."

"I don't need help!" I shriek my voice cracking.

"The bleeding says otherwise," he says not even bothering to look in my direction.

I grit my teeth in my frustration.

"Put me down and help him!" I shout in annoyance at the fact Levi is just blanking me entirely.

I sigh as I realise he's not going to simply risk our lives for a theory that Eren is in danger.

I twist against him again as I try to escape his arms.

"Stop you're squirming, it's irritating," Levi snaps.

My jaw tightens as I fight the urge to punch him in the jaw. Already given him a broken angle once, maybe a nice bruise to the face would go well with it.

"Please Levi," I say, trying to speak as softly as I can.

He finally turns to face me. His expression is blank but I catch the slight flicker in his eyes. He huffs and switches his attention back to the titan.

"Hold on," He says and I do, thinking he's lowering us down to get Eren but I'm mistaken. He fires one of his hooks to the top of the wall and we begin to ascend the steep stone.

"Wait what are you doing?" I say worriedly. "You can't just leave Eren down there alone!"

He shows no signs of stopping.

I struggle against his grip blanking the pains from my spine. "Let me go you son of a bitch!" I yelp as we madly swing about on the wires.

"Mikasa stop!" Levi warns but I still continue.

We are just reaching the top of the wall when I hit him square in the nose sending us both flying up into the sky. Levi loses his grip around my waist and goes plummeting back down the wall, gas spraying on full. I on the other hand have no gas and begin to fall not so gracefully toward the solid top of wall rose.

I brace myself for impact expecting the shock but it doesn't arrive. Instead I land safely in the arms of Jean.

My lungs sigh in relief.

"You okay?" He asks his eyes soft.

"Yeah I'm fine, but how?" I answer confused. How is he here?

Armin comes running up behind him carrying a med kit "We all climbed up after you and Eren fell," He says. "Let me look at your head".

So they did know I was injured.

I sit down, my legs dangling over the wall while Armin dabs some cloth and ointment on my forehead.

The blackness below looks how I feel. My head is empty and unknowing without Eren. He needs to be okay. We all need to be okay.

"Levi will help him," Armin tells me. "Other than you, Levi is the safest thing that could happen to Eren. You know that," and I do know that, as much as I hate that guys guts.

Levi is the best solider I've ever seen but it all still puts me on edge. I should be down there helping him.

I hear blubbering cries coming from my left and Krista runs towards me, her eyes red from my crying.

"Did you see Ymir down there?" She asks desperately.

I shake my head puzzled.

"I don't think so. Why isn't she here yet?" I answer.

"No," Reiner jumps in leaving the conversation he was having with Bertolt. "She didn't make it to the walls. Krista just barely made it. She, Ymir and Bertolt got separated from us during the confusion and they ran into a 7 meter class. Krista got grabbed and Ymir jumped in just in the nick of time."

I look up at Krista questioningly. So where's Ymir, I think.

She looks away from me.

"We didn't see if she escaped." Armin says answering my thoughts making Krista break down into tears and hurry away.

The rest of us just stare at one another all thinking the same thing. Ymir didn't make it.

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><p><strong>Ah I'm unsure of this chapter. Does it flow okay I'm regretting parts and sorry to any Ymir fans but don't worry I'm planning a twist later on. I wanted to add a little bit of Mikasa's point of view to show her feelings plus I wasn't sure how to write Eren's POV from him being a Titan. Like a said I did put more ErenxMikasa in there with some little touches of Levi and Krista. Reviews are welcome as always and the next chapter (hopefully) should be out by tuesday-wednesday maybe earlier!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4 - The Ends of Before

**Fantastically Beta read by ****CryDon'tSmile!**

**Disclaimer- I DON'T OWN ATTACK ON TITAN THIS IS JUST A FANFIC AFTER ALL.**

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><p>Chapter 4 - The Ends of Before<p>

(Eren's POV)

Dawn's light on my face forces me to wake from my dream state. The 30 meter titan's yellow eyes bore into mine as I struggle against the flesh of my own titan's neck. Our battle was long and hard but in the end, regardless to my previous threat, my titan was the one who didn't have a head to think with.

I manage to free my legs before its clamp of a jaw falls to where I was trapped. I topple off my titans shoulder in a desperate escape, falling clumsily to the ground below. It doesn't take the titan long to realise I was not in that mouthful and it's head darts about in frustration. I see my slender ray of hope, get to my feet and run towards the wall.

Why did I ever think I could outrun a titan, especially in this state?

I fall to my knees as the booming strides of the titan shake the ground. I shuffle forwards like there's no tomorrow, well there might not be at this rate, but my path is suddenly blocked by its thumping feet. I lie on my back looking up at the monstrous fate that awaits me. I just hope Mikasa is with the others otherwise this will all be a waste.

The titans taunting grin appears as it bends down, oblivious to the hooded figure swinging down from the wall towards him. I squint my eyes against the sunrise just enough to see the figure swiftly cut the titans neck, the whole thing looking effortless. I'm too busy watching the scene behind the Titan to realise that if I don't move I will be squashed beneath its falling mass. Adrenaline drives my legs to move and I just about make it safely out the way, having to leap at the last second. I roll onto my back gasping, hearing nothing but my own heartbeat.

Close call.

"That wasn't so hard, was it Jaeger?" Levi asks walking over to me.

"Can't...breathe…" I gasp out, my chest wheezing as I speak.

Levi glances down at me showing no signs of pity, no signs of any emotion actually. He kicks my leg and I roll over onto my front.

"Get up, you're not dead," he casually remarks.

I cough. "I bet you hope I was, saves you some effort."

That earns me another kick to my side.

Levi sighs and offers me a hand up.

"Come on," he commands.

I comply and push myself to my feet. I wobble about for a second before falling into Levi, causing us to both come crashing down. He elbows me as he quickly gets up to brush the dust off himself. I look up expecting him to see his outstretched hand but only seeing his face burning with rage. I smile.

"Is that emotion you're showing captain?" I say sarcastically.

I groan as he punches me in the jaw.

Levi makes a 'Tch' sound before grabbing me by the collar and dragging me up to my feet.

"Don't make this a regular thing Jaeger," he warns before we shoot up towards the top of the wall.

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><p>(Mikasa POV)<p>

I pace up and down, ignoring the threats from Jean to sit down. How can I rest when Eren's not here? It's been almost 4 hours since Levi went down the wall and he still hasn't returned. I bite my fingernails, ignoring the blood that appears when I do.

"You're making everyone nervous Mikasa!" Sasha complains.

I give her a quick glare and she worriedly looks away. The time seems to drag and no one feels like speaking. An awkward silence wraps around the group.

"We shouldn't stay here," Bertolt says.

"We need to go back to the city," Reiner agrees, looking straight at me.

"You're kidding right? We are missing our squad leader and Eren!" I argue, walking up to Reiner.

Reiner looks down at me with almost disgust.

"I'm not sitting here on my ass waiting for your boyfriend and that little guy to come back. We have no food or water up here considering our horses and supplies are all down there! Who knows how long it is before another herd of Titans walks by making us trapped for sure! Anyway, they are both probably dead so stop blabbering."

I screw my face up with rage.

"He is not dead," I say coldly.

Reiner bends down and puts his face directly in front of mine. I can feel the repulsive heat of his breath on my cheeks. "That titan's probably already sicked him back up by now. Better find yourself a new man to fail at protecting."

Asshole.

I yell and lunge myself at him, tears blinding my view. Reiner stumbles around, trying his best to lose the grip I have on his top.

"Mikasa get off me!" he shouts, waving his arms about.

One of his elbows manages to clip me in the side of the temple and I go sprawling backwards, trying my best not to fall over.

I'm not giving up that easily.

I look up and steady myself before running at him again. He moves out of the way and I almost go flying over the wall. Reiner stands behind me wiping a trickle of blood away from his nose.

"Is that it Ackerman?" he mocks before slamming my body down onto the floor. The air goes straight out of me and I lie gasping. Armin runs over screaming.

"Get off her! She's barley able to stand as it is!"

Reiner ignores Armin's cries and wafts him away when he starts slapping his arms. My head feels like it's on a roundabout that won't stop. Everyone apart from Armin watches in terror at the scene before them, unable to move out of the fear of being taken on by Reiner.

Armin continues to slap him but he is hardly a match to Reiner's brute force. He knocks Armin backwards onto the floor, sending gasps and cries through the group. Reiner turns to face me.

"You know Mikasa if it wasn't for you I would have been top of the 104th class? You were always the prize of the squad weren't you? Pretending you were something special when in fact you were just a little girl who cared only about herself and that so called brother. Well now that he's dead everyone can see how truly selfish you are and that you're nothing but a show off!"

It's clear to see that he's lost it and that isn't good for me when I'm helpless on the floor. He looks down at me and spits on my leg.

"I'm stronger than you, watch," Reiner declares, overcome by anger.

That's when I go for him.

I swipe his legs from under his body knocking him down. I quickly jump up and straddle his stomach pinning his hands and feet down in a position we both know he can't move from. He struggles against me but knows he's lost. I breathe in and think about what we both said. I try to brush it all off but deeper feelings of pain want to be heard.

Reiner lies still under my weight waiting for me to make the next move. I look him coldly in the eyes.

"Don't say anything about my family again," I say with a clear threat in my voice. "Understood?"

Reiner looks away and admits defeat. I sigh and stand up. The wound on my head has opened up again but I'm too tired to care. I stride over to Armin, ignoring the glances from everyone else.

"You okay?" I ask, wiping the blood away from his mouth.

"Hah, am I okay?" He nervously laughs.

Looking down I smile, and collapse to my knees. I look up at Armin and I hold my arms wide open. He walks without hesitation into them, his little body pressed against mine as he cries into my jacket. I try my best to comfort him but I'm having trouble keeping myself together. I'm just about to tell him it's all okay but I'm interrupted by Connie screaming at me.

"Mikasa!" he shrieks as I turn to see Reiner running at me, his blade raised above my head.

I don't even have time to put my arms up. I can only turn my body to protect Armin's from the rapidly approaching blades. I close my eyes tight, waiting for the metal to hit but I never feel it. I open one eye and look down at Armin's shocked expression. What is he waiting for? I slowly turn to see Eren standing above us, his own blade shaking against the weight of Reiner's.

"Eren!" I say in disbelief.

He looks at me for a second giving Reiner the advantage. He pushes down against Eren's blades, his face dripping with sweat.

"Leave it Jaeger," he says before giving a final push, making Eren kneel before him.

"Stop it Reiner, we can't fight with ourselves," Eren grunts against the weight.

Reiner screws his face up in rage. "You're dead anyway," he states.

"No he's not," a voice calls out. I look over to see Levi striding over towards the chaos.

"Captain!" Armin exclaims.

"Stand down, both of you," Levi orders, his voice spitting annoyance.

Reiner glares at him but relaxes his blade realising that he can't fight Eren and Levi. He huffs and walks off back towards Bertolt, bumping Eren's shoulder along the way. Levi rubs his eyes and looks around the group.

"I'm gone for 5 minutes and you're all killing each other. Forget the Titans, at this rate your all murder each other in your sleep!"

He sighs heavily looking around at all of us. His eyes settle on my own for a little longer than needed and I shift on the balls of my feet uncomfortably. Levi raises his hands up, giving up with us, and walks off further down the wall.

I can't imagine how much he detests us.

* * *

><p>Tension in the group is high and nobody feels like talking. In the end everyone disappears to help Levi find the horses, leaving me and Eren alone on the wall. Without gas we have no way of reaching the ground, unless you count jumping to your death as an option, but I don't think I'm suicidal just yet. I sit crossed legged looking out across Titan territory, the sun nearly fully raised. Eren walks over and sits beside me.<p>

I don't look at him. Instead I continue to look blankly into the distance.

"I'm sorry for before," he softly begins. "The thing about me not needing you anymore?"

I snap my head in his direction.

"Did you just say that?" I breathe.

"Yes. I needed to say it before-" he starts, but I interrupt him as I break out into laughter.

"Mikasa?" he asks worriedly.

"After all that's happened, that's the first thing you say to me?" I say between the laughing.

I put my head in my hands as the laughter turns into sobbing. "You almost died!" I exclaim.

Eren puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Mikasa, you're the one who nearly died, not me. I'm the one that should be crying here."

I look up quickly at his pained expression.

"I'm sorry," I say, peering into his eyes.

He smiles as he encloses me in his warm arms. I exhale into his chest. This is the safest place I've been for a while.

"It's okay," he sighs into my hair.

I could fall asleep like this. Forget about the world. I can feel my eyes drooping but Jean's voice interrupts the moment.

"Um. I bought some gas tanks..." He says awkwardly.

Eren and I fly apart causing me to blush. How could I think this would be a good time to be alone? We stand up, avoiding each other's gaze.

"I should probably go..." Jean says, his voice quieter.

I look up at him and smile. "No its okay, we're coming now."

Jean nods before walking off. I catch him subtly turn towards Eren and as he gives him a quick glance. Eren is the one blushing now and he punches Jeans shoulder as he strides off. I lower my eyebrows in confusion and Jean laughs.

"Don't worry about it Ackerman."

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><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

Levi called off the mission that morning. We had lost 3 of our horses and most of the gas reserves, not to mention the fact that none of us wanted to be around each other. As we started to ride back to the safety of wall an uncomfortable silence rose as everyone tried their best to avoid eye contact. I feel Armin sigh on my back; his horse was one of the ones we couldn't manage to track down so I offered to take him on mine.

"How you holding up back there?" I ask.

He sighs again. "I'm worried about Krista. She's not talking to anyone."

I look over to Krista. Her face is a ghostly white like a porcelain dolls, her usual bright eyes are as glassy as pebbles as they blankly look on into the distance. There's no need to think about why she's like this.

Ymir.

We didn't find a trace of her when we got down from the walls. No footprints or blood, I guess we just have to hope she found a horse and made it back before us. I try to look on the bright side, but I'm just not in the mood for it anymore.

I look back at Armin and give him a sad smile. "In case you haven't noticed, Armin, no one's talking. It's not really a good time, but yeah, it's worrying."

Armin looks down and begins to mess with the hem of his cloak.

"Sorry," I say trying to be as gentle as I can. I don't think he can last another argument after today.

We continue to ride in silence for another hour. The most I can do is comfort Armin and avoid glancing at Reiner; who hasn't kept his eyes off me the whole time. I can almost feel his eyes burning into the back of my head making me shift uncomfortably.

"Eren," Armin says.

I look back into his face which is turned away to the left. I look in the same direction.

"Is it a titan?" I ask alertly, putting my hand on one of my blades.

"No it's too small. I think it might be one of the lost horses, but how did it make it all this way by itself?" he replies.

I scan the area until my eyes land on the shape he was talking about.

"Do you think it could be Ymir?" he squeaks, his voice full of hope.

My heart lifts as there's actually a chance it could be. Maybe she did make it all this way on her own. But then again, why did she stop?

The shape isn't clear to see, or close for that matter. It would be a quicker to get there on my own without troubling the group... it would also be nice to take a ride.

"Only one way to find out," I say, smiling.

I give a strong tug on the horse's reins, making it rear up. The group stops and turns around to see what's going on but it's too late. My horse is already galloping towards the object, leaving the confused faces of everyone else behind.

"Jaeger!" I hear Levi call but I don't even bother to look around, since I can already hear the drum of hooves following.

"Why didn't you wait?" Armin gasps, desperately hanging onto my waist as we bounce up and down on the saddle.

"I didn't want to trouble anyone," I laugh, feeling the wind through my hair. Of course that isn't the true meaning. When I saw that wide open distance I felt like it might be my last chance to be free without anyone on my back. My mind darkens as I remember what's going to happen when I get back to wall rose.

I fade out of the real world as my mind goes black. I begin to imagine my last moments.

I'm thrown onto the king's palace steps and held down by 2 guards. I struggle against their grips but they pin me down against the cold white marble. Screams of the people I love surround me as a man with long slick black hair and a fanciful moustache aims his gun at my head. A wicked grin appears across his lips as he places his finger on the trigger. I close my eyes waiting for the bullet as a bloodcurdling scream sounds beside me. My eyes fly open-

"Eren! Wake up!" Armin shouts while doing his best to keep me on the horse.

"Wha..." I slur, shaking my head.

My mind feels groggy from the almost nightmarish image. Did I just black out?

"You nearly fell off! You were laughing and then a second later you were sliding off the horse!" he says, panicking. "We should stop."

I shake my head and ignore him, looking up towards the shape realising it's definitely a horse.

"No, it's right up ahead. Anyway, I don't want to stop and get shouted at by Levi just yet," I joke.

I glance behind to see the group coming up from behind, Levi up front, his face not looking particularly pleased. I swear there's steam coming out of his ears.

I reach the horse and pull at the reins for it to stop and stop it does. The jolt is so sudden that Armin goes tumbling over me and onto the ground.

"Armin!" I splutter out.

"I'm okay. Stupid horse needs to learn to hit the brakes," he says, rubbing his head.

I give a sigh of relieve before hopping down from my horse and drawing my attention to the other. I look at the saddle and study the engraving on the back. Stitched into it is the word I wanted to see but in a way I also didn't.

"Ymir..." I breathe, "This is her horse Armin. She must be around here."

"Ymir!" I shout clasping my hands round my mouth, "Ymir!

Armin walks off to the side a little and I catch him staring ahead.

"Eren, I don't think there's any point in trying. Look..." he quietly says.

I walk over to what he's talking about and gasp. Lying on the floor is Ymir's manoeuvre gear, survey corps cloak and a cluster of broken blades. However it's not those that are worrying.

Among the abandoned objects, nestled in between the cloak is a detached hand with no owner.

Armin runs off to a nearby bush to be sick and I collapse to my knees.

"How could this happen...?" I whisper to myself.

I hear the sound of angry footsteps approaching me but I don't take my eyes off the curled up hand before me.

"Eren!" Levi booms. He's using my first name which is a first. I can't decide if it's good or bad. He grabs me by the collar and shoves me down onto the floor. First names must be bad then.

"Are you completely incompetent? Have you forgotten who's in charge?" He shouts.

I ignore him. I lie still, fixated by the horror. Levi looks down at me, his face slowly turning from tomato red to baby pink. He kicks me in the stomach multiple times before Mikasa jumps between us.

"Stop! You don't even understand why he ran off yet!" she states. "Give him a chance."

"Mikasa he went against my orders. I have the right to do what I wish. Have you forgotten I'm the reason he's not dead right now?" Levi calmly says, his expression back to its normal grim state.

"He'll be dead soon enough," Reiner says, walking up behind Levi with the rest of the group in tow.

Mikasa completely blanks his words and helps me up so I'm sitting. I don't look in her eyes even when she places her hands on my arms.

"Eren. Talk to me. You gave us a bit of a shock back then," she says giving me a warm smile. I continue to stare ahead.

She opens her mouth to continue but Krista's scream rips apart the air. I look down at the floor not wanting to see her break down at what I've already seen.

"Oh my God, please no..." she sobs into Ymir's cloak.

Everyone looks over to see what she's on about and gasps and cries begin from everyone. Sasha and Connie kneel beside Krista their mouths hanging open. Even Reiner and Levi show signs of shock. Armin comes back over and stands by Mikasa.

"She might not be dead. She could be okay," he suggests.

"Not now Armin," Mikasa sighs, her eyes saddened. Even she knows better than to look.

I glance up towards Levi who stares at me with almost pity.

"I think we all need a break Captain."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading guys. Going to be a surprise in the next chapter and sadly we will lose a few characters. <strong>

**The surprise isn't much of a surprise to be honest because it's what the whole stories about considering this isn't even the main part of it yet. Levi fans will like the next one because there's a part from his point of view too.**

**Also Sorry for making Reiner such as Ass, I couldn't imagine any of the other characters being mean to Mikasa so he was unfortunately the victim of my writing...**

**Reviews and tips are welcome as always :)**


	5. Chapter 5 - The Signs of the Future

**Hello Readers!**

**Not much to say other than this is an updated chapter (19/03/2015)**

**If you have been following the story I am very happy to hear it and thank you for giving me a shot!**

**This chapter was Beta read by the lovely CryDon'tSmile!**

**Disclaimer - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN (I wish!) THIS IS ONLY A FANFICTION.**

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><p>Chapter 5 - The Signs of the Future<p>

(Eren's POV)

No one argued with Levi when he told us to take a break for an hour or two. We found a clearing in the nearby forest and tied the horses up before settling down. Everyone kept their voices in whispers; trying their best not to make eye contact with Krista, who leaned against a tree, curled up. Tears are still running down her cheeks now, no sounds escaping her mouth. This is how she's been for the last 20 minutes, even with Armin and Sasha beside her.

Armin glances over to me and gives me a quick smile before giving his attention back to Krista. I sigh and stride away from everyone, deciding to take a walk around the forest alone.

* * *

><p>The air feels humid as I walk under the leaves of the 30ft oaks. A cool breeze ruffles through my hair, making my temperature drop slightly. I wipe the sweat away from my brow as I breathe the in the smell of the forest. This is probably the most relaxed I'm going to feel for a long time, since there's no time for waltzing around the woods in prison. I try to ignore my thoughts as I take everything in. Titans don't normally like close spaces like the forest, but I can't be too careful, and I can't let my attention fade.<p>

I continue to walk towards the descending sun, still scanning the tree line for any uninvited company.

"Jaeger," a calm and unexpected voice hollers from behind, making me jump.

Swivelling round I see Levi leaning against a tree, arms folded, in one hand a glossy red apple.

"I didn't think you would be the one to wonder off on your own." His eyes flicker over my face as his neutral expression gives way to disgust. "Oh, wait, yes I do. Especially considering the stunt you pulled today, going against my orders in front of the whole squad."

I look down at my shoes, not wanting to look into his sharp, stabbing eyes.

"I was supposed to apologise before but other things got in way," I say, thinking of Ymir. "Anyway I spotted something and I knew it was a long shot for it to be important, so I doubted you would have let me go."

Levi presses his lips together. I can tell he knows I'm right. He breathes out and swiftly takes a bite of the apple, still refusing to take his eyes off mine.

"Tch," he says between chews.

I look away awkwardly, thinking of something to say. I don't particularly want to be stood here.

"There's lot of woods to cover for danger so I'm just going to carry on looking," I say, gesturing that I'm leaving.

"You not afraid of the forest Jaeger?" He asks. "I've always disliked the enclosed space of the tree trunks. I lost my best squad in a place like this..." His voice trails off as he finishes the sentence.

The image of them all dead by Annie's hand makes me shudder. I know Levi was close to his old squad. I think he's ashamed to have a replacement group as inexperienced as we are.

"I know, I was there," I say my voice soft.

He gives me a blank stare and sighs. "It's not your fault."

I smile, knowing that somewhere in his head he thinks it is my fault. He glares in response and walks over to me so we're standing face-to-face.

"You won't realise first-hand how dangerous playing around with Titan's are until you lose someone you love. You are just a beginner and have no idea what it means to see the most precious and meaningful people die at the hand of a Titan. I have been in this squad for years and have grown used to seeing people die. You begin to forget it when every mission unknown members die and your closest recruits survive. That's why when they died I realised that the Titans kill even the best. Always keep that in mind Eren."

I take a step back away from him and the memories of my mother come back. He doesn't know anything about what I've lost.

"You're wrong. I lost my mother to a Titan on the day the colossal Titan came to wall Maria. I know how much losing her hit me; I know what it feels like. Don't tell me things that you don't know!"

Levi's eyes bore into mine. I see no rage or pity in either.

"You may have known what it felt like Eren, but you were only a boy. Careful what you say about loss. You will soon realise that you're about to lose a whole lot more," he says, before taking another bite of apple.

Didn't he hear what I just said? Does he have no feelings for others or is he just selfish?

I shake my head.

"I've already felt the Titan's pain," I say coldly.

He turns his back on me and walks away, throwing the apple core into the bushes.

"You're about to feel it again then, sooner than you think," he calls, his words echoing in the trees.

He leaves me there, standing alone. What kind of a speech was that?

* * *

><p>I stay there unmoving for a few more minutes, thinking of Levi's words.<p>

'You're about to feel it again then, sooner than you think.'

I know not everyone survives, but sooner than I thought? How could he know that? I carry on walking under the chilling branches, replaying those words over and over.

I get another hundred metres ahead before I hear distressed shouts from where the squad camp is.

Titans? But how could it get so close without anyone realising? Are we all that full of grief our minds are tripping up?

I quickly pivot around and sprint towards the commotion, my gear banging harshly against my bruised legs as I go. The sounds get more worrying as I approach the clearing, and I hope I'm not too late. I crash through the trees, blades in hand ready for a fight, but to my surprise I see no Titan.

It's absolute chaos.

Everyone is shouting wildly at one another, all gathered around a single horse. Armin is pushing Reiner out the way as he desperately grabs for the reins. Mikasa is assisting Levi with trying to calm everyone down but neither are having any luck. I shake my head in confusion, trying to work out what the hell's going on. I cautiously walk over to the group but Jean stops me in my tracks.

"What the fuck is-"I begin, but Jean holds his hands up, stopping me.

"You don't want to be in that I tell you. I'm not sure what's going on but I was sleeping only to be awoken by this! Bertolt was arguing with Armin when I got up, something about Krista," he says, his face flustered.

"What about Krista?" I ask, feeling dread build up inside me.

"One of the horses has gone, and so has Krista."

I stare open mouthed at what I just heard. I know I shouldn't be surprised; she wasn't right after Ymir's disappearance, but to just take off like that? Does she actually think she will last long on her own without supplies and the squad?

"Just gone?" I ask, shocked.

"Just gone. No sounds, no tracks, no goodbye. Come on Eren we all knew she was going to go after Ymir, she knew Levi wouldn't let the squad go. Chances are Ymir's dead, Krista's the only one who probably thinks she isn't," Jean says.

Two members of the squad gone in one day. I'm beginning to think Levi's words are real.

Jean rubs the back of his head, looking back at the scene of confusion.

"Armin wanted to go after her because he insists it's his fault he didn't see her go. He's full of guilt but we can't blame him. She just slunk off on her own. Now Reiner's saying he should go. No one knows what to do."

I dart my head away and think of where she would have gone. I place my blades back into the slits in my gear and walk over to Levi and Mikasa, pushing Jean out the way as I go. Mikasa sees me coming and bows her head guiltily.

"Don't make this worse Eren," she says

A sharp hit of anger hits me and I grumble. I ignore her comment and turn to Levi.

"Sorting this, Captain?" I ask sarcastically.

He looks past me, his face emotionless.

"It will sort itself out. No one will leave, there's no point losing any more men," he says.

My eyes widen and I turn to look where he's looking. The arguing group have begun to calm down, and Reiner and Armin have backed away from the horse. Everyone else is either sitting on the floor or have walked away, obviously giving up. I look back at Mikasa, who still continues to look at the ground.

"No one is themselves," she says sadly.

Levi grunts and walks off, leaving us alone.

"What's up with you Mikasa?" I ask annoyed.

She looks up and stays silent.

"Yeah no one is themselves are they?" I shout drawing attention from everyone. I look around, running my fingers through my hair.

"She's right!" I say, addressing the gawking group before stomping off towards Armin.

Why did this all have to happen now? As if this day couldn't have got any worse. Not only has my body taken a hit but so has my mind. I feel as though I could just sleep right here, get away from it all.

I screw my eyes up and concentrate on walking. Armin needs more help than me right now; guilt isn't the most forgiving feeling.

He looks up to me as I walk over, the horse he and Reiner were arguing over in tow. Who would have thought Armin could stand up to Reiner like that.

"Hey Armin," I sigh, trying to sound as perky as possible. It's not going well.

"Eren are you-?" He asks, leading the horse back towards the others.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You're the one who should be asked if you're okay. I can't believe you went at Reiner like that," I say, actually smiling a bit.

He smiles with me. "Not the first time either."

I cock my head in confusion. When did that happen, and how didn't I hear of this?

"That fight between Mikasa and Reiner didn't just involve them you know," he says, giving a little laugh.

I snort, imagining Armin taking on Reiner in a fist fight.

I sigh. "We should be going soon," I say, rubbing my head. I'm so tired.

"Okay, I hope Krista comes back. I know if she doesn't we will have to leave without her..." He says, his voice turning to a whisper.

"I'm sure she will," I say, ruffling his hair.

He closes his eyes and gives me a half-hearted grin. The image of a man with a moustache giving me a wicked grin pops into my head, his gun in hand.

My head begins to spin and I lean against the horse for balance. My eyes begin to droop as I realise I haven't slept in 2 days, but the same vision again?

"You don't look so good… Are you okay?" Armin asks, putting my arms round his shoulder.

"Yeah," I slur. "I just need sleep; I can do that when we get back." I smile.

"But-" he starts, but is interrupted by me stumbling into him.

I fall to my knees before keeling over.

"Eren!" He shouts bending over me. He shakes my shoulders but my mind is already going cloudy.

The man with the gun…

"Mikasa!" He calls, and she comes running over to my side.

She puts her hands on my cheeks and looks into my eyes. Her face is full of panic as she darts her head towards Armin.

The cries of the people I love…

"What happened?" She asks, raising her voice.

"He… he said he was tired and then just fell over! He's sweating like crazy!" Armin squeaks, the colour draining from his face.

I look up to both of them.

"I'm...just...tired," I say, my voice a whisper.

The scream and a gunshot…

"Get Levi!" Mikasa commands, and Armin scrambles to his feet before running off.

"Come on Eren, you're just tired, like you said!" Mikasa breathes her tone desperate.

I look into her eyes, trying my best to stay conscious, but the nightmare state drags me under before I can even blink.

Why is there blood on my hands?

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><p><em>The same vision from before begins to creep into my mind. I'm thrown onto the king's palace steps and held down by 2 guards. I struggle against their grips but they pin me down against the cold white marble. Screams of the people I love surround me as a man with long slick black hair and a moustache aims his gun at my head. A wicked grin appears across his lips as he places his finger on the trigger. I close my eyes waiting for the bullet as a bloodcurdling scream sounds beside me. My eyes fly open to a figure standing before me, their hand holding a bloody blade that's imbedded in the grinning man's chest, who isn't grinning anymore. He collapses and the figure lets go. I gasp as the mysterious person jolts backwards and falls into my arms. A pool of blood forms on their stomach as it soaks through their clothing...<em>

I jolt up, yelling as hot streams of tears fall down my cheeks. The image of the body burns in my mind. I can't remember the face of the person in the dream.

* * *

><p>I choke as I try to stop my breathing from becoming faster. Someone comes to my side and rubs my back. My lungs stop playing up and I fall backwards on to a bed. I look around and realise I'm back at the survey corps HQ, Mikasa by my side.<p>

She smiles and places her hand on mine. I give her a confused look. How long has it been?

"You collapsed and no one could wake you up. Everyone thought you were dead at first but you were breathing. Levi called everything off and ordered for us to return immediately, causing some of the squad to argue over the fact we were just abandoning Krista. We just left her there..." Mikasa says, her eyes fading off into the distance.

I swallow as my throat goes dry. Why did I have to blank out in the middle of something like that?

"Any idea why I just blanked out?" I ask, trying to bring her back to reality.

"No," she says her eyes still glazed "You just, blanked out. We had the doctor here and he eventually put it down to lack of sleep."

I stare at her and think of the vision. It can't be real.

"How long was I out?" I ask, clearing my mind.

"2 days," she replies.

The room fills with silence; she breathes out and comes back to the real world. She looks over to me and smiles.

"How you feeling then? I'm sure Armin will want to speak with you. He's downstairs… You up for long trip down the stairs?" she asks.

I sit up and nod before swinging my legs over to the side of the bed. Mikasa helps me stand and we begin to walk downstairs to- I'm sure- a place where everyone will either want to help me or kill me.

Everyone turns out to be gathered in the main hall and I can say it was more than uncomfortable walking in there. I step through the door trying to be quiet but the heavy thing slams shut alerting everyone to my presence. I look down the table where the squad are sitting, and Armin is the only one who looks pleased. He runs over to me and hugs me, making me stumble backwards.

"We thought you were dead," he whimpers into my shirt, making it damp.

"Well I'm not, Armin," I say, pushing him off while trying to be as nice as possible.

I hear Mikasa clear her throat beside me and I know I'm not just here for Armin. The failed mission has to be addressed...and the 2 missing members.

"Come on," she says, guiding me to the table.

I sit down between Levi and Mikasa and look around at everyone's faces. Most seem to look sad, with the odd few staring at me with eyes like daggers. I quickly turn away to face Levi.

"There's no point me saying the mission wasn't a complete failure. I can't think of anything that went smoothly," he says.

I look down at my feet; I don't want to be reminded of anything that happened. Levi talks about the flaws and future plans of the squad. Nothing is mentioned of Ymir or Krista. I'm guessing they have been pronounced dead, making my heart sink a little.

The meeting ends in less than an hour and no one argues when he tells us all to go to our rooms. I stand up to go but Levi grabs my sleeve. I turn to face him in confusion.

"A minute?" he asks calmly.

Mikasa looks over her shoulder by the door, and I nod, telling her to go. She leaves, shutting the door behind her and the boom made by it closing echoes around the room.

Levi sits on the table next to me.

"I knew you were going to mess things up at some point but even for you this was all a surprise Jaeger. You can't imagine the trouble it's going to take me to clear this whole thing up with Erwin. You will be lucky if he still keeps you in the Survey Corps," Levi says sternly.

"I know," I say solemnly.

He looks down, not saying anything.

"Doesn't matter anyway, I'm going to jail right?" I laugh, trying to make it seem less depressing than it actually is.

"Don't be silly Jaeger," Levi replies in a bored tone.

"Huh? You said yourself the mission was a failure. I turned into a Titan and went against your orders countless times!" I point out, my voice breaking.

"You really think you would have had to go to jail? When you were in dream land in the middle of the forest the squad was a mess. We made an agreement to go back to the city and not say about what had happened to you or the incident with the Titan. Some members didn't agree of course…" My mind flicks to Reiner. "But most of them didn't want you dead. You're safe for now Jaeger. My judgement is final but like I said, who knows what you're fate is with Erwin."

I give a sigh of relief as I feel the world being taken off my shoulders.

"You can go now," Levi says, and I follow his words.

I almost feel like jumping with happiness. I really thought it was all over. I smile to myself thinking of what Mikasa and Armin will say. Maybe that vision wasn't my future, just a nightmare that I had scared myself with over and over.

I'm just reaching for the door handle when Hanji bursts through, whacking it into my face. I fall to the floor and groan in pain. She looks around and sees me.

"What are you doing here Eren? Sorry I didn't see you!" she shouts.

I don't bother getting up; instead I just lie there on the floor. She offers me a hand and I take it. I rub the back of my head and glare at her, but she ignores me and walks over to Levi. He looks at her and groans. We all know he's not really a big fan of Hanji's attitude.

"Captain Levi! A man is here to take you to the king's palace immediately; you have been called to a meeting by his royal highness himself!" she announces.

Levi's expression changes at the mention of the king and his eyes go wide from shock. He looks over at me and then back to Hanji.

"Who is this man?" he asks Hanji.

"Um..." she awkwardly says. "I didn't ask."

Levi groans and stands up, grabbing his cape from the back of the chair and striding off through the door. He doesn't even glance my way.

"Exciting news, isn't it?! Maybe he's getting a promotion?" Hanji suggests clasping her hands together loudly.

I ignore her and walk out the door. I catch Levi getting into his horse beside a man in a black cloak, a gun by his side. My mind starts reeling to worse images.

No, no way could that be who I think it is. It was a nightmare. Nightmares aren't real. I must have really pulled a number on myself to be as insane as I think I am.

I slide down the wall and put my head between my legs taking deep breaths. What's wrong with me?

I hear someone's footsteps running in this direction.

"Eren?" Mikasa says jogging over. Her mothering face appears the second she she's me on the floor.

"I'm fine. I just swear I saw a nightmare but I think it's just concussion," I say trying to reassure myself.

Mikasa puts her hand to my head, feeling my temperature.

"You should go back to bed," she says.

"Yeah, maybe you're right," I agree, pushing myself up.

She nods and we begin to walk down the hall towards the stairs. My foot is on the bottom step when Mikasa stops me.

"What did Levi want?" she asks, curious.

I shake my head. "He told me about the being safe from death sentence, I'm not going to jail," I say, weakly smiling.

She throws her arms round my neck, sending her scarf in my face.

"That's a relief," she sighs into my neck.

"Yeah," I reply, slightly startled by her sudden outburst. Her breath strangely tickles my neck.

"So, where is he?" she asks.

"He got called to a meeting with the king by some man who came to HQ. He left about 10 minutes ago," I answer.

She pulls back from me quickly making me stumble, my back hitting the wall. I look at her, confused.

"A meeting with the king?' she asks, looking worried.

"Yeah I-," I start but I lose my trail of thought when I hear heavy footsteps descending the staircase. I look at Mikasa and then back to where the sound is coming from. Reiner steps past me, barely acknowledging where we both stood.

He looks at me for a second before continuing down the stairs.

I swear that he was smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>It's all kicking off at HQ now! The story is about to begin the next 2 chapters so look forward to that, lets just say the meeting with the king isn't looking good for Eren or Levi.<strong>

**Once again thanks for reading and please leave a review and/or favourite if you liked it!****Till next time**


	6. Chapter 6 - The Dawn Of Tomorrow

**Hello again! Guess what? Another updated chapter! (21/07/2015)**

**I was going to write this is Levi's POV but I tried and it didn't work out very well in my eyes so I had a wack at narrative writing! This may or may not have gone well so it would be nice of you guys if you could tell me if it worked.**

** Anyway I can't believe this is chapter 6 already. My, my, time flies when you're shipping and not getting on with the real world!**

**Anyway, enough waffling!**

**Enjoy.**

**This chapter was beta read by the wonderful CryDon'tSmile!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN, TRUST ME I DO NOT LOOK LIKE ISAYAMA.**

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><p>Chapter 6 - The Dawn of Tomorrow<p>

(Narrative)

The sky grew unsettling throughout the journey from HQ. Levi looked up from his horse into the swirling mass of black clouds above. Tiny raindrops began to fall onto the 2 riders as the atmosphere turned into a violent storm, wetting their clothes through. Lightning struck on the road ahead but still the men didn't flinch, their goal was too important to be stopped by Mother Nature. Levi glanced across at the hooded king's man who had fetched him for some important meeting that he refused to give any information about. This made Levi nervous. What could be that desperate to talk about that means they have to battle with the deadly weather?

The skies had shown no mercy of stopping, even after they had reached the palace walls. The other man hadn't spoken a word since Levi met him, they were alike in this aspect as neither liked to talk that much. A stable boy came and took their horses as they walked through the iron gates, leaving Levi and the man stood alone in the pouring rain.

"This way," the man said in a deep growl as he walked across the courtyard.

Levi cautiously followed, always keeping an eye out around him. None of it felt right. They walked down long corridors, passing more guards and men, and they all nodded to the man Levi was with. 'He must be their officer' he thought, although he couldn't properly tell because the officer hadn't shown his face for he had never taken off that mysterious black cloak. Levi ignored that fact and continued to wonder about the meeting. Maybe it was a promotion or better yet the option to pick his own squad again. Levi was beginning to think how long it was until the squad he had now would drive him insane, they were only kids after all. He breathed out heavily in annoyance at the thought of his squad. Now he really did hope he was getting a new one. The man noticed his breathing and looked down at Levi, his face still in the darkness of the cloaks hood.

"Not much further. You're little legs won't have to carry you much more," the man said, laughing at his own comment. Levi looked on ahead, not amused. He hated being called small. If only this jerk could see him in a fight, then who would be the one laughing? They carried on in silence their footsteps echoing though the panelled halls. The man glanced down at Levi again and then put his arm out in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

"We're here," he said, pointing to the door beside Levi.

Levi nodded and the man opened the door, revealing a large open room. The floors and walls were covered in white marble and reflected the light that shone down through the high French windows that covered one side of the room. The other walls were all decorated with heavenly paintings and mirrors. The whole thing was breathtaking, even in Levi's opinion. He looked around showing no emotion even though he felt something inside. The hooded man walked past him and headed straight towards the other side of the room where a long table and chairs were laid out for dinner. On one of the chairs sat the King.

"Ah, Captain!" he boomed across the room. "So glad we could do this now."

Levi walked slowly towards him, treading lightly across the floor.

"I see you have met my right hand man Officer Dressler here," the king said, patting the hooded man on the arm and smiling.

Levi looked at him carelessly and then back to the king. "Why did you call me here sir?" he asked in a bored tone.

The king's smile faded. "So you want to get right into things then? Well that's understandable." He sat up and patted his bulging belly. "Sit down then."

Levi obeyed and sat down on a chair opposite the king.

The king grunted before starting. "So captain, I would like to ask how the mission went. Don't bother telling me it failed I already know that. However I don't know how. Care to share the details?"

Levi looked blankly back at him. "A 30 metre class Titan ambushed us in the dark. My squad retreated up the walls to gather ourselves; ground fighting with our gear wasn't an option."

The king leaned forward on his chair, his eyes narrowing. "How did you defeat this Titan then if ground fighting wasn't an option? Why aren't you still stranded on the walls Captain? I'm sure you have an answer that will interest us."

Levi calmly looked across to Dressler who was standing; arms folded and peering down at the table. "Do I really have to say? I killed the titan after the rest of my squad stayed on the walls. Ackerman and Jaeger nearly got themselves foolishly killed," Levi declared.

"Ackerman and Jaeger you say?" The king questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Levi slightly shuffled at the realisation of his mistake. He shouldn't have brought their names up. "Yes sir," he replied carelessly.

"You didn't have any problems with Jaeger, did you?" The king asked, now seeming interested.

Levi played the images of the mission in his mind. Eren's titan, Reiner and the fight, Mikasa nearly dying. His squad wasn't perfect by all means, if he wanted a new one all he had to do was tell the King about the mission and the squad would definitely be disbanded, and he wouldn't be blamed. On the other hand then he would be giving Eren a death sentence and no doubt Mikasa would be questioned too. Would it be worth it? He didn't care about them or anything. Did he? "No, no problems with Jaeger, he just ran out of gas and Ackerman tried to get him, she too ran out. It was no one's doing," Levi lied.

The king rubbed his moustache between his fingers, "Interesting," he began. "I've heard different."

'Shit. I had to go and cover for those brats, didn't I? Now it's going to be my fault and they're going to die anyway. When I find out who did this…' Levi thought.

"A man you might know told a guard that isn't how it happened." The king said.

"Who would that be?" Levi asked.

The king looked at Dressler for him to answer.

"A tall man with blonde hair. Had a bruised eye, looked like he'd been in a fight. Know anything of it?" Dressler asked.

'Reiner,' Levi thought, though he remained silent. He couldn't say anything.

"You're not lying to us, are you Captain?" The king asked, his expression cold as stone.

Levi sat, remaining silent.

"Only this man had reported that on a mission he saw a boy Titan shift saving a girl. A girl that started a fight on him," Dressler announced.

Levi felt the anger rise up inside him. This meeting couldn't all go wrong, it couldn't but it was.

The king gave him a violent stare. "We have reason to believe it was Jaeger, Captain. Could this be possible?" he asked.

Levi gave the king a blank stare in return; still no emotion was to be revealed. "I doubt it, I didn't see him change," Levi replied coolly. He was trying his best to safely avoid saying it.

The king sighed and screwed his mouth up. "Okay!" He said throwing his hands up, almost looking like he had given up. Almost.

"You can report to Erwin, Captain. He's here somewhere. I'm sure he's got some mission for your squad or something. You may leave," the king said reluctantly.

Levi's eyes widened in disbelief. It had gone smoothly in the end. He stood and gave the King a salute before turning to the door. It could have gone worse, a lot worse. Levi was closing the door when he heard hushed voices mentioning Eren's name. He left the door ajar and listened, intrigued.

"I knew he was dangerous. He shifted and didn't tell us. I'm surprised the Captain completely lied to us. Maybe he favours the boy. Maybe he's working with him!" the king said.

"It doesn't matter. We know what to do," Dressler whispered.

The king grunted. "Yes, yes do it. I want it to be all out of the way by tomorrow, I've got a ball next week you know!" he declared, his voice rising a little.

"I will fetch him tonight, he shall be dead by morning sir, don't worry," Dressler said, patting his gun. "Who's ever heard of a good titan? All titans are here to eat us, Jaeger is no exception." He laughed.

The king laughed too, but quickly wafted him away. "Go on then!" he ordered. "And take that stupid hood off; it's not raining in here!"

Dressler bowed and pulled back his hood before walking away. Dressler ran his hand over his long, slick black hair. He looked at his gun in his hands making his fanciful moustache turn up as he revealed a wicked grin.

"It's all about to begin," he hissed.

* * *

><p><strong>He is real!<strong>

**So what did you think? Leave a comment on if you liked it or what I can improve on as they really do help me****. **

**In other news I went on a book haul and just went mad on buying loads. That's the thing about books, they demand to be bought (Book reference there ;) ). I actually bought the SnK 2,3,4 manga volumes which was amazing and I think thats my weekend sorted! **

**I should be updating the next chapter where the story should be kicking off properly next friday. **

**Until then Enjoy! :D**


	7. Chapter 7 - The Door Of Tomorrow

**Hello dear readers it is me from the future! Or me just updating again...(01/02/2016)**

**A lot of people have been asking for more eremika and I assure you it's on the way. I tried hinting things in this chapter like Eren's feeling towards her and Armin dropping hints of hers towards Eren so it's not empty of it yet. More to come I promise!**

**Anyway the real story begins now...**

**Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN OR ANY OF THE RIGHTS I WISH I DID BUT NO SADLY NOT**

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><p>(Eren POV)<p>

Nightmare's of the past ravage my dreams and I find myself constantly being woken. Images like my mother and the titan's replay themselves in my head making me jolt up gasping, sweat dripping from my brow. I try to learn to live with it but watching the people you love die over and over is not something that can be tossed aside like a scrap of paper. I sigh, wiping my forehead with my shirt before falling back into my pillow. I wonder what horrors will await me in the next dream. I shift over on my side and stare out the window, the moonlight casting across my face. My eyes begin to droop as the blackness closes my vision once again.

I wake up panicking as a strong hand presses against my mouth blocking my screams. At first I think it's one of my own terror's escaping from my dreams but I relax a little as it's nothing of the sort. Levi stands leaning over my bed his fingers clamped over my mouth, his expression stern. I continue to struggle against him in confusion. Why is he here in the middle of the night? Is he actually here to take revenge on me for ruining the mission? I shout at him to let go but my voice his muffled through his hand. The scene before me begins to turn uncomfortable and in a weak attempt to lose his grip I bite his palm sending his arm flying backwards in disgust. He walks backwards wiping his hand desperately on a handkerchief.

"There was no need for that Brat!" He hisses, his eyes not moving from his hand.

I roll over on my bed kicking away the sheets as I reach for the bedside candle, the light reaching Levi as he stuffs his cloth back into his pocket. He glares at me and strides over and I shrivel away worrying about being gagged again.

"I'm doing this for your well being Eren, I don't want any trouble so do me a favour and just follow me," he says slightly calmer.

My mind is still too groggy from lack of sleep to understand what he means. Did he just say doing this for my well being? By the looks of things it looked more like he was trying to suffocate me.

"Sir? What are you talking about? Well being from what?"

Levi looks away and breathes heavily before walking over to my dresser. He rustles through it grabbing a handful of my clothes. Now this is just getting creepy.

"Um-," I begin about to ask if he wanted to borrow my clothes but he holds up his hand as to interrupt...

"I'll be blunt Eren, I was wrong," he begins slamming the drawers, "You're not safe. I thought Commander Erwin and I might have covered you from the King's eyes on the mission but that is no longer the case. The King knows everything; some piece of shit went behind our backs. Should have known this was going to happen but it means you are to leave immediately on my orders."

I sit on my bed in shock unable to process what is happening.

"That's what the meeting was about…The king knows I shifted into a Titan," I breathe.

"Yes. Now get up otherwise you will be dead by morning," Levi answers walking round the room picking up my belongings and stuffing them into a leather rucksack.

My body feels like it's falling through space. Dead by morning…Leave immediately….

"Hurry up, we still have to get supplies from the kitchens and be quiet, no one can know we're leaving," Levi orders but I remain seated on the bed still frozen.

He sighs and throws the rucksack at me. The bag hits me in the face snapping me back to reality as Levi walks out the room. I shake my head as I begin to work grabbing some leftover clothes from the drawers and quickly getting dressed. Levi bangs on my door telling me to hurry up again and I snatch my cloak from the wardrobe before following him. I glance around the room thinking of how I might never see these walls again. My mouth goes dry as I realise I don't even know where I'm actually going. Where could be safe from the King's claws within the walls?

Levi calls me for the third time and this time I obediently follow.

* * *

><p>We head to the kitchens where Levi throws an assortment of canned and packaged foods at me. I stuff all them in my back without a thought. He still hasn't told me where I'm going. By the time we're done most of the cupboards are cleaned out so I'm guessing I'll be out of action for awhile. Levi pushes me out of the room and we begin to walk towards the stable yard but he curses halfway and tells me to stay put. I look around bewildered as he sharply turns on his heel and strides back down the hallway. I stand in the corridor alone, gazing down at my shoes, my pack on my back making me look like a child waiting for a parent to collect them from school. The odd squeak of a mouse is the only sound which I'm sure Levi would love to know about. My mind wonders if this could all just end, maybe the king wouldn't kill me and we could have another trial but I remind myself that that would be a fool's dream. This is the King I'm thinking of here. I dismiss the thought and decide to walk into the dining hall to wait. The room is so eerie at night, my echoing footsteps making it even more so. In a few hours this place will be bustling with hungry soldiers gearing up for a day of training and where will I be? God knows. My eyes wonder around the room but a open book catches my eye on one of the tables. I read the cover immediately recognising its title. It's the same book Armin's parents had when we were kids, the one he found about the outside world. I always thought it was lost when wall Maria fell. How did he keep this? I carefully flick through the golden pages as the memories coming flooding back. The summers me and Armin would use to flip through this thing and create stories about one day me, him and Mikasa seeing the outside world together. I trace one picture of illustrated waves that flow across the page. Oceans I think? That story was our favourite. I wonder if it's still possible for us to be those explorers we wanted to be as kids now. I could run to them now and say 'Come with me so we can see the oceans like we always wanted' but of course I would never risk their lives for a petty dream like that. I lean against the table trying my best to hold back the tears that wash over me.<p>

"Eren what are you doing here this late?" A voice suddenly asks from the doorway of the hall.

I jump out of my own skin and stumble backwards into a couple of chairs. Armin walks towards me from the shadows.

"Armin?" I ask.

He walks over to me looking at my bag and Manoeuvre gear, "Where are you going?" he asks sadly.

"I-I have to go Armin, I can't stay here anymore…" I say my voice trailing off.

"Go where? You can't just leave and not tell us, Mikasa will be worried until you get back," he says confused.

The thought of Mikasa makes my heart plummet.

"I'm not coming back. I can't come back. Armin the king knows about what I did outside the wall. I broke my vow not to shift; if I don't leave it's over for all of us. If I don't go who knows what will happen to everyone, to you…to Mikasa," I say looking down at my feet.

I look up to his face and the realisation of what I mean is plastered on it. Tears start to fall down his cheeks.

"No…you can't Eren!"

I shake my head; his face begins to break me bit by bit.

He grabs the book on the table and flicks to the ocean picture again, shoving it in my hands.

"What about this Eren! Weren't we going to see this together? You promised me…" he says.

I don't know how to respond. I promised him but how can I tell him that I can't take him there. Wasn't it all just some childish dream in the end?

"You're not going, I can sort this out!" he declares rising his voice.

Armin has always looked on the bright side; wish I could do the same.

"No you can't. Not this time."

He rubs his eyes before staring me in the face his stance strong, "I'm coming with you then."

This takes me aback; I didn't expect him to say something like that.

"Armin… you have to listen to me. You can't tell anyone about this, you hear me? If the king knew where I went not only would I be killed but so would Levi and maybe Mikasa." I tell him.

"You really think that even I don't tell anyone that people aren't going to find out? The minute you're missing Mikasa is going to go after you. I can't stop that," he says.

I take a step back processing his words. She can't come after me, he's wrong she wouldn't put her life in danger like that for me. She won't, I know, she won't. I run my fingers through my hair as I try to block out the fact that every time I say she won't I convince myself more she will. I can't put it aside can I; I know she will come after me there's no stopping Mikasa like that. I remember that from when Jean told me he was jealous of how protective she is over me, I've always found it annoying but I can't help feel like it's almost comforting in a way. Maybe her coming after me isn't such a bad thing…

Wait? What no.

How could I think of putting her in danger like that? I shake my head, this is all too much. I don't think I can do this. She can't come, what was I thinking?

"You can't let her Armin! Promise me that you will stop her at all costs! I couldn't face losing her on my own out there; I don't even know where 'there' is yet! No one can know, not even Mikasa!" I demand.

_I bite the inside of my cheek in frustration._

Armin's upper lip trembles as he tries his best to hold it together, I didn't think about what other people would feel about this when Levi just told me I would be gone. I suppose watching me go is easier than watching me die for them isn't it? At least seeing me die would mean they knew I was dead, not wondering if I made it through another day. The metallic taste of blood creeps across my tongue as my cheek starts to bleed. I ignore it and continue to bite down.

"I can't promise that Eren, you know her will is too strong. I wouldn't know where to start" Armin says.

I instinctively rest my hand on his shoulder, "Armin, I know you better than anyone. There's nothing you can't do when it comes to people. Please I need you to try."

He stares blankly at me first like he's trying to figure out if I actually mean what I'm saying.

"Are you really leaving us now? Like this?" He asks calmly.

I look down at my feet and then back to his eyes.

"You won't even notice I'm gone. For all you know I might be only hiding round the corner. I could even be back by tomorrow night," I say keeping my voice optimistic.

It's obvious by his damp expression that he see's through my hope and the atmosphere turns doubtful. His eyes begin to stream tears again and he jumps into my chest for a hug, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist.

"You have to come back. For me, for Mikasa. Don't see the ocean without us." he cries against my cloak.

I breathe out and wrap my arms around him like an elder brother would do. I suddenly realise that Armin is like the little brother I never had. This time I don't hold back the tears, I simply cry with him.

"I promise."

We stand there for minutes crying like a bunch of fools. My emotions run deeper than I care to admit and I have to tear myself away.

He looks up at me and understands, beginning to step back towards the door.

I give a final smile and he turns around starting to disappear around the corner. He is just out of sight when his little body comes crashing down against the floor.

"Armin!" I shout running towards him but before I reach him I slam head first into Captain Levi.

"Levi?" I exclaim rubbing my head where I hit him.

"Eren, I told you to wait in the hall did I not? If you had listened to me this boy might have not been out cold right now. I told you we can't let anyone know you're gone yet. By the time he's awake now you will be long gone and me back here to cover for your absence," he carelessly says looking down at Armin who lays face down on the floor.

I open my mouth to say something but I hold it in not wanting to admit I went against him again.

He sighs, "Come on then, were losing darkness."

I nod following but I look back on Armin feeling the guilt rising up inside of me.

"I can't leave him like this. Why did you have to knock him out, he promised he wouldn't tell anyone," I say.

"I told you why but okay fine, move him inside but be quick. The noise you were making could wake the dead," Levi says walking off outside.

I shake my head at him before turning my attention back to Armin as I drag him as gently I can towards a dining bench. I push him up so his body is slumped against the table. I curse as his head hits the side. He groans in pain still unconscious.

I step away from him and decide that's the best he's going to get. I begin to follow where Levi went but something catches my foot walking away. Confused, I look down and see Armin's book under my boot, the ocean page drawing my attention. I bend down and trace the outline of the waves. Would he mind if I took this page, if I kept hold of it as I reminder that this is what wanted in life once? Hoping he forgives me, I rip 2 pages off and stuff them into my jacket pocket. I pick up the rest of the book and carefully place it under Armin's arm. He looks so peaceful; maybe he will think our conversation is all a dream. Maybe it's better that way.

I walk away telling myself it is.

* * *

><p>We leave HQ just before Midnight, my heavy rucksack bulging with everything Levi threw at me. He still hasn't even told me where we're going; my hopes of staying within the wall are dying with every gallop.<p>

"Another Mile I'd say," Levi calls out snapping my attention.

I look across and nod in return.

About five minutes later, Levi raises his hand to signal to stop. I pull the reins on my horse and we sit there in a slightly awkward silence.

"What are we waiting for?" I ask confused.

"A sign," he replies.

"Um…okay. What like from God?" I ask sarcastically.

Levi turns to me with a look of pure boredom. "No you idiot, the signal."

"Oh."

We wait another minute before anything happens. I'm beginning to think there is no escape plan for me. It's all a hoax, end of the line with Levi giving me up, however a light emerging from the bottom of the wall dead ahead banishes that thought. Levi rides forwards towards it unfazed by how it suddenly just appeared; I follow a little more cautious. We reach the light and I find it's a gentle wooden slop going underground, a large door at the end. I flash Levi a puzzled look.

"What is that?" I ask.

"Your exit Eren," he replies with no context.

We step off our horses and lead them down into the ground through the door and it strangely shuts on its own behind us. I look ahead at the long stone tunnel outstretched before me with various doors along the walls. I hear no signs of anyone else so how could this place just open? Instinctively I step closer to my horse for reassurance.

"Is this place empty?" I ask, looking over at Levi.

"It has been for awhile," he says. "Very few people know about it. It's an emergency escape tunnel leading from inside wall Rose to wall Maria. It's never been used thankfully, last resort option if something happens to all 4 gates. That answer your question?"

I look down the long tunnel. Wait did he say it leads to outside wall Rose? Does that mean what I think it does?

"I'm going outside the walls?" I breathe not wanting to hear the answer.

He looks over to me sharply.

"I'm surprised you didn't know already. It's not like you can stay here safely, sooner or later the guards would have found you. Out there you will be safe."

I look down at my feet, "Safe from what?" I ask ironically.

Levi notices what I mean and stops walking.

"Listen Eren you know it's the only way. It's a death sentence for you in here anyway, might as well risk it out there. There's Titan's of course but most of them have no intelligence. I'm sure you won't die a painful death at least when it comes to it," he says with almost a concerned tone.

That's probably going to be the nicest comment I will get out of Levi.

_I'm sure you won't die a painful death_

Gee, thanks!

I sigh and try to keep my head held high, it's better than nothing. The conversation with Armin about Mikasa coming after me suddenly pops in my mind. How could she come after me? She doesn't know where this tunnel is and there's no way she could go over the wall or through the gate on her own.

That makes me feel slightly better; she won't have to suffer what I'm about to.

We see the end of the tunnel appearing ahead and I know the time is approaching.

"Here we are," Levi states.

I swallow and look at the grand oak door that waits.

I begin to prepare myself when a sudden faint patter of running footsteps echoes from behind me and dread begins to coarse through my veins. Tricky scenarios run through my head. Is it the guards? Did they find me? Mikasa? Did Armin tell her what happened? I spin round to see 2 figures coming up fast down the tunnel and I'm not sure how to react when I see them.

"Hanji?" I exclaim bewildered.

"Ah Eren! Sorry it took so long, that awful gate just wouldn't close!" She shouts, walking over to me.

I back away slightly, worried by her excitement.

"Took you longer than it needed to be," Levi says addressing Hanji and a man who I've never seen before.

"Don't be so harsh Captain! Poor old Christian couldn't pull it as much as me! His little muscles aren't as big as mine!" She points out wrapping one arm around the man's neck clumsily. He struggles harmlessly against her grip.

"Humph," Levi grumbles before turning away from them.

"You know about this place too?" I ask Hanji who still has Christian in a headlock.

"Oh me? Just a bit of old survey corps info, Christian here knows more about it so I've been questioning him all afternoon! Don't worry about him though I've known him for years so he's pretty trustworthy. Now what were you doing again? Escaping from the King? Ha! Naughty Eren. You just keep on getting yourself in trouble with things. Shame I didn't have more time to run tests on that majestic Titan body of yours. Maybe you will come back or we might find an arm or leg of yours leftover out there later to research on?" She says a little too convincingly.

"Err…" I begin to object but Levi cuts me off.

"Hanji that's enough nonsense," he declares.

Yes, quite! I think to myself.

"Awww okay. We better get this gate open then shall we," she says releasing her lock on Christian. He rubs his neck in pain and walks towards to gate. Hanji follows, skipping after him.

"Crazy," Levi mutters under his breath.

I smile a little; even he has an opinion on her.

"Okay, is this it then? To be out there alone?" I ask.

Levi looks down at me before turning away to grab his satchel attached to his horse. He pulls out a number of papers and maps and shoves them into my chest.

"These are the reason you either survive or die," he says

I blink at him and he groans understanding I have no clue what he means.

"Here," he says opening one of the maps.

He shows me the different areas on the maps of where Titan hotspots are and where I can take shelter at night. Titan's aren't usually active at night but given the recent events of the mission where I actually fought at titan at night I'm not too sure on that theory anymore.

Levi points to red dots across the map, "These are survey corps supplies. Gas, food, water. If you're desperate for these they're here to be used but don't help yourself to too much otherwise you will have the authorities sniffing around."

I nod in response and he folds up the map and puts them in with the rest of the papers.

He wonders over to where Hanji and Christian stand. Christian stares at me for awhile, his eyes filled with curiosity. He looks back to Hanji when Levi coughs trying to regain his attention. I glance down at the ground wondering what he was looking at but Levi strides back over distracting me.

"Come on Eren," He sighs almost sounding a little miserable. Is he sad to see me go?

I look at him and Levi widens his eyes signalling me to move. I blink out of my stare and climb onto my horse again trying to control my shaking hands that refuse to be ignored.

Levi walks along side me and leads my horse to the wooden door which begins clanking signalling it's time for me to prepare my goodbye as awkward as they may be. I expect Levi to give me some snooty remark on how badly I'm probably going to do out there but his outstretched hand surprises me.

"Good luck out there Eren. I'm sure we will meet again, always looking for trouble aren't you?" He says giving a hint of a smile.

My mouth slightly opens. Did he just smile? Shocked I grab his hand and shake it strongly trying to cover up my own trembling fingers.

"Thanks Captain, I'll look forward to it. It wasn't so bad being around you at all times either." I say laughing a little.

"Tch," he says looking across to the gate.

So much for a completely friendly goodbye then.

I sigh and look to where he's looking. The gate is now fully open and ready for me to ride past into the abandoned Wall Maria. I never thought I would have to venture out into Titan territory alone; it's scaring me more than I would have liked. I take a deep breath and turn back to Levi who is already staring at me, his eyes blank. I smile and breathe again. Is this Goodbye to everyone I care about now? Armin? Mikasa? The force of thinking about her hits me in the gut and my mind is filled with situations of her following. A part of me knows that determination of hers to protect me will cause problems. We are all each other have and we both know it. I wish I said goodbye, where I could have held her in her arms and rubbed her red scarf in my hands for one last time. What would I have said? I can feel my heart aching for her but I can't give it what it wants. It beats alone now.

A sudden chilling breeze whips my cloak backwards behind me as the blackness of the night sends a cold spike through my skin. I wrap my cloak back around me preparing for what Mother Nature and anything else could throw at me.

Levi lets go of my reins on steps backwards.

"Ready?" he asks his hair ruffling from the wind.

I smile, "Ready."

I whack the horse's reins making it jolt into action past the doors and up the wooden slope outside. I turn around as I leave to see Levi standing by the door, his stance in a salute. I guess he really does respect me. Doesn't show it much. I look around the wilderness expecting to see something but the moonlight cast across the plains in an eerie light is the only thing to make me shudder. No signs of any Titan's. No signs of anything.

I'm on my own now.

* * *

><p><strong>THE STORY HAS ACTUALLY BEGUN FINALLY<strong>

**It took it's time I know but I needed to be sure everyone knew the background and the main characters and the people causing problems *cough* Dressler and the king *cough* so that's why. I would like to say that the next chapter is going to be up next week but me being me I can't say thats true (oops) so sorry I will try but I am not the best author for time keeping.**

**Please give me some feedback and If you liked it a favourite would be nice too to keep me going through this hard time of writers block!**

** I do love you guys for reading my story and reviewing etc. and it's been 2 amazing months. Till next time - OneGirlaMillionBooks **

**P.S Just so you know If you sent me a review I might have replied to it via Inbox so check there if you wanted a personal thanks from me reviewing.**


	8. Chapter 8 - The Threats Of Tomorrow

**I was Ill and really tired when I wrote this but I wanted to get it up this weekend because the next chapter is going to be really fun to write because Mikasa and Eren will finally be out in the world which is what the whole stories about. This chapter is mainly a filler but I can't understand why it's 4,000 words long so I can't really call it a filler. I've tried to include non direct Eremika in my last few chapters but it's been challanging because there not together which makes me kind of sad. Anyway I will let you get on with this chapter and I will try to post next weekend with a BETTER chapter! Quick thanks for the 2,600 views on this story *screams* because wow. I'm secretly missing you're comments though because I didn't get any this week. I really do Enjoy reading them so please give me feedback as it's all helpful and fantastic.**

**Enjoy Chapter 8!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN AS THIS IS JUST A FANFIC. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WROTE IT THOUGH LIKE WHAT A MESS**

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

(Mikasa's POV)

The warm heat of the morning light spreads across my face as I toss across my bed. I love this moment in the morning where I wake up and I'm completely unaware what the world I'm in is like; it's the best part of the day.I sit up on my bed as I wait for the wave of problems and memories to come flooding back to my minds groggy state. An image of Eren injured in his bed pops into my mind. Ah here comes reality now. I take a deep breath trying to prepare myself for whatever challenges I might have to face today. I'm hoping I might be able to fit in a few hours training this morning before breakfast but it looks like it's already past 6. Damn it I must have slept in! Where's Armin? He always wakes me up if I'm late. I shake off my frustration as I tell myself there's nothing I can do now. I stumble over to my wash basin still half asleep. I lean over the still water that I left from last night trying my best not to fall asleep head first into it. My morning mind state is as bad as it gets for me. I splash my face with the cold water trying to shock myself into action but my body continues to drag. No good. Without thinking I grab the whole bowl and throw it over my head sending the freezing liquid over my hair and down my back. I gasp at its icy sharpness as little beads of water drip down my neck sending shivers across my body. My eyes widen with shock. That definitely woke me up. I ignore the cold that creeps up my spine and I continue to wash myself rubbing cheap soap into my hair. The chemical smell of the soap makes my nostrils flare. You'd think the survey corps could get some decent smelling soap instead of something that makes you want to rip your nose off. Eren's mother use to make the sweetest smelling soap. I remember helping her pick lavender from the Jaeger's garden for it; she told me by putting it in the soap it made my hair look even more beautiful. I rub the wet ends of my hair between my fingers thinking of what she said. There's no room for beautiful things in this world anymore, I think scrubbing out the soap suds into the murky waters of the bowl.

* * *

><p>I don't bother with drying my hair so I end up just rubbing it with a towel. It feels damp against my skin and for a moment I feel worried of catching a chill but I decide it will dry off in training. I quickly get dressed into my uniform before heading downstairs for breakfast my stomach more demanding than usual. So much for early training. I'm just about to turn a corner towards the dining hall when I hear raised voices coming from inside. I stop in my tracks worried about what I'm walking into. Another fight perhaps? I hear scraping of chairs and muffled huffs of people who all call to a single mumbling high pitched voice. Armin. I put my own opinion of coming back later aside as I stride into the hall expecting the worst. I hope he's not breaking up another fight between Eren and Reiner, I've told him to tell me if that happens. The thought of Armin not waking me this morning comes to mind making me slightly angry. I'll ask him why he didn't wake me shall I? When I walk in it turns out that it's only Jean and Connie in the room huddled round a dazed Armin. I hope Connie didn't find another bottle of vodka last night because looking at Armin that's what it's beginning to look like. The memories of last time that happened still make me worry. Poor Armin took one sip and threw up all over me. That was a rough night for me, never again. I shake my head bracing myself for them all to smell of spirits but I'm pleased that no scent of it comes.<p>

Jean notices me and jumps up.

"Mikasa did you see anyone come here last night?" he asks worriedly.

"No I was asleep. Why what are you on about? Did someone break it? I didn't hear anything," I reply.

Why would Jean ask me if I saw anyone? Where's everyone else if something has happened?

"Does that mean they might still be around?" Connie asks turning to Jean.

"No they wouldn't risk staying if they took someone out. For all we know it could have been an attempted murder. We can't rule anything out until he tells us something," Jean says avoiding eye contact.

Why isn't anyone explaining anything! Attempted murder on who?

"Okay someone explain to me right now! You can't just say this without telling me. Who's been here Jean?" I exclaim my voice rising.

"I wouldn't be asking you if I knew would I!" Jean shouts.

I can tell their both worried and frustrated. I might as well just ask Armin. Why isn't he filling me in already?

I push Jean out of the way walking towards Armin.

"Armin can you tell me what's-," I stop shocked when I see why he hasn't said a word.

He lies slumped against a table, his hands holding a bandage on a gaping wound on the back of his head. He looks up at me and I swear that he looks frightened. I slowly lean down beside him. Why would someone attack Armin?

I feel anger begin to coarse through my veins.

"Who did this?" I ask my voice stern.

He looks up at me and continues to stare, his eyes wide.

"Why were you here? Did you see what they looked like?" I ask continuing to fire questions.

Still no reply.

"You think we haven't tried that already?" Jean cockily says.

I shoot a glare at him and he shifts uncomfortably. I grind my teeth turning back to Armin who now just stares at his hands. I see tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

"Armin please I'm trying to help. You've got to tell me something, you're worrying me," I say trying to soften my voice.

His tears still show no signs of stopping. I grab my damp hair in my fist trying not to just storm out and threaten to kill anyone who is linked to this. I may care about Eren more than myself but that doesn't mean I don't feel the same for Armin. I need to find out who did this. Why won't he let me in at a time like this? If the culprit is still here who knows who might be in danger. Someone could be trying to kill someone else, Armin might know. I bet Eren will get something out of him. Where is he? I thought he might have been down by now. My breath catches as panic strikes through me. Where is Eren?

I leap up onto my feet making Connie and Jean jump backwards.

"Go get Eren!" I say desperately.

Jean looks at me confused.

"I thought he was with you?" He says.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion trying to analyse what he said.

"Why would he be with me?" I question.

Jean shrugs his shoulders, "He wasn't in his room and he's not here. Not seen him either."

He wasn't in his room? Oh no...

"Then where is he?" I demand shakily.

"Calm down Mikasa! I'm sure Sasha will have seen him. She will be back in a minute," Connie interrupts.

"Why, were did Sasha go?"

Jean laughs, "You really think when something happens like a young boy getting bludgeoned over the head in the night isn't going to be said to the Captain?" he says.

I look at him wanting to punch him for laughing when Armin is sat right there too scared to even talk.

"She's gone to get Levi. Like I said she's probably seen Eren on her way," Connie says right on queue as Sasha walks into the room.

There are no signs of anyone with her. No Levi and no Eren.

My panic levels begin to rise.

"Sasha! Where's Levi you idiot? I told you to get him!" Connie shouts.

She shakes her head quickly walking over to us.

"He's not here! I checked everywhere. His bed wasn't even slept in and his cloak is missing from his wardrobe," She replies glancing at Connie.

"Wardrobe?" Jean asks, "What were you doing in his wardrobe?"

Sasha starts to blush and awkwardly rubs the back of her head.

"I saw him put a packet of peanuts in his jacket pocket once. I was just checking, sorry."

We all groan at her and she blushes even more.

"Anyway so you didn't find him? Did you look for Hanji?" Jean asks.

"Yeah when I couldn't find the Captain I went to her office. No luck, no signs anywhere!" Sasha cries.

"Did you see Eren anywhere? Did you tell him about Armin?" I ask interrupting.

"No Mikasa…I didn't see him. Isn't he with you?" She replies.

I take a deep breath in. If he's not here then where could he be? If someone knocked Armin out then how do I know he's okay?

Without thinking straight I take off out the door towards the sleeping quarters my body overtaken by fear.

"Mikasa!" I hear Jean shout from behind but I don't look back. I can only think about the worst thing.

* * *

><p>I burst into Eren's room without knocking, for all I know he could be dead on the floor. I dart my head around the space hoping to see him there but my heart drops as all that I see is pulled out drawers and his bed sheets on the floor. No cloak, no clothes, no Eren. I stumble around the room trying to tell myself that there's a good reason all his belongings are gone, that he was in a hurry to look for something but I'm not fooling anyone especially myself. I sit on his bed and I slowly continue to look around. There's hardly anything left here, just a couple of shirts and a still burning candle. When he left he obviously had time to light a candle then. Time for that but not even to say goodbye to me? I breathe in deeper as I try to steady my breaths. My throat feels shaky as I feel a mixture of Anger and sadness in my stomach. I think of all the situations on why he would have to leave. They all end up in me thinking he's either stupid or dead. I rest my head in my hands hating myself for not figuring this out. His rooms empty, a candle is still burning, he didn't say goodbye, Levi and Hanji are missing and Armin has been knocked out cold. Armin….he must know! I shoot my head up jumping to go back to the dining hall to beg Armin for information but something catches the corner of my eye. A figure arrives though the gate outside on horseback returning from a late night ride. Eren? I run over to the window hoping I'm right but I find that it's not Eren, its Levi. In let out a ragged breath as I close my fingers into tight fists. I have no doubt that the reason Levi has returned this late is the reason Eren vanished in the night. I think about rushing down to him and holding him at blade point just to demand where he has taken Eren but that would just end up with me drawing too much attention. I decide to play my cards right and go and talk to Armin again.<p>

* * *

><p>The hall is quieter now and I notice Bertolt sitting on a chair next to Sasha, no Reiner I see. Jean and Connie are still with Armin who seems to be a little less terrified. I walk past the other too, Sasha giving me a quick smile as I approach Armin.<p>

"Where did you run off to?" Jean asks curiously.

"Eren's room. He's gone. All his drawers are empty and it looks like he left in a hurry." I miss out the bit about Levi returning. That's my problem to sort out.

Jean stays silent for a minute.

"Do you think whoever did this to Armin took Eren?" Jeans asks me.

I shake my head, "Eren wasn't taken. He went along willingly I'm sure of it. Someone would have heard something otherwise and the candle in his bedroom was lit when I went in. I also think that whoever went with Eren did this to Armin because he saw them leaving."

Jean looks baffled, "How do you know this?"

"By putting pieces together. I need help getting Armin round. I know he saw them, he must have done," I say looking at Armin.

"Okay. I've tried but he's zoned out," Jean agrees.

I crouch down by Armin who turns to me when I put my hand on his.

"Armin I know something's wrong and I know you know where Eren is. You have to tell me what you saw last night. I have to be sure," I softly say.

"Be sure of what?" Jean asks but I give him a blank look and he doesn't ask again.

I turn my attention back to Armin.

"I know you want to tell me, so why don't you? Remember it's me you and Eren against the world. Were always together and we need to keep being this way. You need to tell me."

Armin's eyes light up.

"The oceans…." Armin whispers.

I look at Jean and then back to Armin.

"We are going to see the Oceans together right? You remember?" I ask.

"We were," Armin corrects me.

"Were?" I question confused.

"I promised him Mikasa. He said you would care that he went and he knew that you would go after him. I can't break that promise," he breathes.

My mouth opens a little with shock. He knew I would go after him? How could he make Armin promise something like that? I turn Armin's face to mine putting both hands on his cheeks.

"Look at me Armin. I know you want to keep you're promise and I know you're planning to but you have to think about this. If Eren is in danger I have to help him you understand? If he dies then you will have no promise to keep anymore. Isn't it better to save him now than let him die without us knowing?"

He looks at me like he's just seen a ghost. He grabs my hands and throws them off his cheeks. I fly back slightly afraid.

"I was reading late last night from my parent's world book when he came in. I heard someone in the corridor talking so I hid in the corner and waited till they left because I know reading that book is illegal. However they didn't leave, it was Eren. He walked in with a bag and gear. He was leaving. He just stood there reading my book and smiling. I asked him what he was doing and-" he pauses.

I wait for him to continue holding my hand up to Connie who nearly interrupts.

"H-he left because of him," Armin whimpers.

I give him a stern look, "Who…"

"The King!" Armin screams "The King knew about the mission! He was going to kill Eren!"

* * *

><p>The whole room fills with a deafening silence. Even Bertolt and Sasha walk over. Armin stares shaking at the floor.<p>

"Damn…" Jean breathes.

"He told us he was safe though? The king didn't know. Did one of us release the mission's information?" Sasha exclaims.

I give a sharp look at Bertolt who stands looking nervous next to her.

"I can guess," I say thinking of Reiner.

"I broke my promise Mikasa!" Armin shouts. "I said my last goodbye to him and I did try to make him not go but what was I to say? If he had stayed he would have been dead by tomorrow."

"I know its okay." I say.

Jean stands with his arms across his chest in deep thought.

"Okay so Eren left and you said goodbye that's right. I still don't understand who hit you over the head?" Jean states.

We all look to Armin for an answer but he just looks at Jean puzzled.

"They came from behind. I was already leaving the room when I blacked out." Armin says.

I was hoping I had a solid answer for who attacked Armin but I guess he can't remember. It's still enough for me to have a good guess though. It was awfully late for Levi to be getting back wasn't it?

I feel awful for making Armin break his promise but I must help Eren. He needs me…I need him.

I look down at the floor and I take a deep breath.

"Thank you Armin," I say blankly.

"Huh?" he says but I'm already standing walking towards the door to reply.

"Mikasa where are you going? We need to find Levi! This is an emergency!" Sasha shrieks.

Oh Sasha If only you knew. I am going to find Levi and then I'm going to find Eren.

* * *

><p>I stride down the corridors of HQ every footstep solid, every breath rigid. Levi knows where Eren is and I will get that information no matter what. It's too early for most of the other members to be up so it's the perfect cover for me to slink about. If worst comes to worst there will be nobody about to hear the shouting or the screams of pain. I approach his room forgetting everything I have ever learned about being polite. I grab the handle and barge into the room without so much as a knock. The room is light and breezy from the open windows making the atmosphere seem calm. Calm is the opposite in what I'm trying to go for here. I stomp around the room searching for the Captain but only finding his cloak on the bed and his boots by the door. I thought Sasha said his cloak wasn't in the room? I saw him wearing it before but that has to mean he's here so-<p>

My mind goes blank when the bathroom door opens revealing a startled Levi wearing only the common uniform trousers and an unbuttoned white shirt. His defined abs are revealed every time a breeze ripples through the room making me stare. He quirks his eyebrow at me in confusion and I quickly reassemble myself. It's not like I haven't seen Abs before, half the squad has them in training!

"There's a thing called privacy Ackerman," he blankly says.

I keep my stony expression. He knows why I'm here so why doesn't he just say it.

"Captain where is he. We can make this simple if you just tell me," I say.

He wonders over to the window and closes one of the two.

"I'm surprised you weren't here sooner. You spotted me about an hour ago didn't you through Eren's window."

My mouth hangs open a little in shock. How could he see me?

"Come on I knew you would be here as soon as Eren was gone. Of course I would know where he went right?" He says mocking me.

"Just tell me Levi!" I demand.

He stares at me his face showing no emotion before walking over to the wardrobe. He opens the door but I slam it shut in anger.

"I'm giving you a chance," I say grimly.

He remains silent.

"Why won't you say?" I ask trying to avoid losing my cool.

"It's amusing to watch people struggle sometimes," he says looking square at me.

I feel my blood boil and the next thing I know I'm pinning him against the wall, my arm leaning on his throat.

"Want to tell me now?"

He straightens up against my weight before looking down his nose at me.

"What are you on about Ackerman?"He asks in a bored tone.

I swear my face must be turning red because the chances are I'm going to end up ripping his guts clean out. I press harder against his wind pipe but he still manages to sound calm even in these conditions.

"Haven't we been in this situation before? Do you recall when I saved you outside the walls? We talked about Eren then didn't we?"

I hold my stance, "This is a matter of life and death for Eren! He could be dying right now!" I shout.

"Dying? You don't even know where he is. Why do you care anyway?" He says his voice filled with annoyance.

I give him a blank stare thinking about his question.

"He's my only family I have left. I lost my parents to murderous villains when I was young and I would have been sold to some pervert on the black market if it wasn't for Eren. I will never stop owing him for that as so I will always have to be by his side. Where ever he goes I go." I say hollowly.

Levi turns his head slightly, "you're not related are you then? I wouldn't say you were family."

I take a short breath in trying to ignore what he's assuming.

"No but it doesn't matter…" I say confused.

He leans his head back against the wall and lets out a breathy laugh.

"I don't think you think of him as family anymore," he says looking me up and down.

"I told you we are family and that's none of your fucking business! Choose what you say carefully here you're not in the safety to mock me. I could tear you apart right now!" I say my voice like poison.

"Bit harsh Ackerman," he says calmly.

Doesn't he realise what he's saying right now? One move and I could break his neck and he must know that.

"I would do anything for Eren and killing you is no exception," I state.

Levi quirks his eyebrow, "anything?" he asks.

Didn't he hear what I just said yes I-

My thoughts suddenly get slammed together like my back against the wall. I slacked off for one moment to think and now I'm the one pinned! Levi stands in front his hands pushing down my wrists. I kick and struggle against his weight but we both know he's won here.

"Ackerman you may be strong but I think you will find I'm stronger so I suggest you stop trying to kick me," he says sternly.

I glare at him before accepting I'm beat and relaxing against the wall. Levi nods and let's go of me making me slide down the wall onto the balls of my feet. He walks away from me and sits on the bed beginning to button up his shirt. I forgot in all the chaos that it was even undone. I don't know why I would even care; I don't have any emotion towards him apart from hate and jealousy.

"You can leave now," he says not looking up.

I do not plan on leaving yet so that ideas not happening. I stand up before brushing myself off. I'm not going to be told that easily. I stride over to him arms folded.

"Where is he? I need to know now!" I shout my eyes burning.

Levi continues to button up his shirt, eyes concentrated on the pure white buttons.

"No wonder Eren thinks you're a handful. You are showing it well," he says mockingly.

I gasp taken aback. Eren thinks I'm a handful? He's the one giving me trouble trying to get himself killed! Levi notices my silence and looks up. A slight smirk appears on his face.

"Bet you didn't know that," he smoothly says.

I return the favour with a dirty look and his smirk quickly returns to its usual serious expression. He runs his fingers through his black hair.

"I know he care's about you. It was fun just to see you squirm and react to having you're feelings messed with. Do you still think you're family now?" he says.

I grind my teeth fighting the urge to punch him. Actually you know what; I think I might give Captain Levi a nice broken nose to suit his disgusting attitude. I tighten my fist before swinging at him, my hand connecting with his jaw. I only manage to skim it though to my disappointment before he grabs my hand. He stands up and faces me, he's eyes aren't lifeless now, their full of anger.

"I will never understand you're love for that brat."

I don't move against his grip.

"He taught me how to live," I say thinking of Eren.

He sighs and the anger fades from his eyes. He pushes me away and sits down on the bed again.

"An apology might be in order. Hitting a man while he's doing his shirt is low even for you."

I don't say sorry even when he rubs his mouth which is already turning a light shade of pink. That's going to be a nice bruise.

"I know you're not going to tell me the truth about you two so I will press no further." He says looking down.

I feel my cheeks begin to heat up and I realise that I'm blushing. What could I be embarrassed about, pull yourself together Mikasa! I hide my face in my scarf inhaling the smell. It always makes me feel warm and safe, just like Eren said it would when he gave it me.

The thought of Eren makes the blush disappear as I tell myself that's why I'm in this mess. I sigh into my scarf making Levi look up.

Levi looks up realising I'm still here, "You're not going to leave are you?" He says putting his head in his hands.

I look down at him and shake my head; he knows determination is something I have over him.

"I've been out all night and I really do just want to sleep you know," Levi breathes.

"You can sleep once you tell me where he is," I say softly.

He sighs and stands up.

"I can't tell you I will have to take you. Let's just hope Hanji is still mulling around the gate to let you through," he says.

"Hanji? Is he at some survey corps base where the guards can't find him?" I ask confused.

Levi quickly turns to me looking at me like I'm stupid.

"You're as naïve as he was. He was never going to be safe from the guards here," he points out.

I don't understand what he means, if he can't be safe here then where have they taken him?

"So where did you put him? You need to let me go with him!" I say my voice rising.

"Ackerman you don't get it do you? I didn't put him anywhere. He went and then for all he knows he was on his own for the rest of his life. Hanji and I let him out to the only place he could be out of the kings gasp."

I don't understand what he's saying at first but then it dawns on me. I feel my throat tighten.

"He's gone outside the walls…"

Levi nods and throws on his coat and boots.

"You really want to be with you're 'family' then I suggest you pack you're things because were leaving in an hour," he says before storming out the door.

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><p><strong>Kinda just a filler I don't know but I tried. Like I said there will be much love in the next chapter when they are both finally out there together (aw) and the name of my story (I will always run with you) will come into play. Comments are helpful as always good or bad. Follow this if you want more and See you next time ^.^<strong>


	9. Chapter 9 - The Journey of Today

**Hey Guys! So first things first apolagies for well being late with this chapter but I've had to catch up with everything like my GCSE's (music is a pain).**

**I also have a lot to say about this chapter and updates in general. Okay so first things first I said that there would be more Eremika in this chapter and they would meet but thats one of the other problems. If i were to add them meeting to this chapter it would make it about 10,000 words which is a pain to fine check and write but it can be done. For now I have split it into 2 chapters but i don't know what to do. So I'm asking you! Do you want**

**1. Longer chapters that are released 2 weeks apart**

**or**

**2. Shorter chapters every week**

**I'm having trouble keeping up with the dead lines on this fic and theres so much else I want to do so please could you help me out in the comments.**

**Next thing is that I was thinking of writing a Eremika one shot and that requires time so expect that in the future!**

**Final thing I have tumblr! I have no idea how to use it properly but theres a first time for everything. Feel free to follow me or just talk as I really do like fangirling over Snk with others! My page is linked in my profile.**

**So i'll stop waffling now and sorry for the no Eremika in this chapter (you don't realise how annyoing that is for me not to put them together) but it needs to be smoothly written and well thought out so yeah.**

**Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN I JUST LIKE WRITING BECAUSE WHY NOT**

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><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

Six flipping hours in and I've already nearly gotten myself killed at least twice. I don't know who came up with the theory that titans aren't active at night but the 5 I've encountered seemed pretty lively to me. Taking down three seven meter class and two 5 meter class titans was horrific on flat ground, I swear I was a second away from losing my leg again and some part of me doesn't want to turn titan around here at night. Luckily for me the two close calls were dealt with as best I could and I still have all my limbs…I think. The night titan theory isn't all wrong as I had said actually; I've caught sight of multiple shut down titan groups here and there that have mostly let me alone. However of course I would be the person to run into a large herd of aggravated abnormals, I wish Levi had let me sleep a couple more hours; I feel like I could collapse after all that.

The sun is rising finally, it's been a long night and I really do want some shut eye. The mood I'm in right now I somehow don't think I could care if a titan walked over and ate me whole. Ever since I've been riding it's mostly been flat plains and dirt tracks with the odd forest dotted about. Saying that I was surprised to find a little cottage a few miles back and it didn't look all that run down. I don't know what I was thinking when I nearly decided to head over there and rest but I'm slightly glad a 3 meter class shifted from inside it causing me to snap back to my senses. I need to keep a clear mind until I find a village with a possible basement; most houses have them. The sunset is slowly giving me light now and I know that in an hour that more titans will be emerging for the day. Levi gave me advice to travel at night to avoid most contact from any titans but we both knew that didn't include abnormals.

As luck would have it not long after me moaning to myself about exhaustion I spot a sleepy village on the horizon. I can almost feel my eyes screaming at the fact they can't stay open much more but I have to remind myself there would most likely be a few titans mulling about. I pull out one of my blades and gallop towards the buildings driven by the promise of sleep.

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><p>The road to the village is slightly less bumpy than the dirt tracks I've been using all night, my body welcomes it and I have a feeling so does my horse.<p>

"I think you need as much as a rest as I do," I try and joke slapping his neck.

Obviously he doesn't respond as I'm pretty sure horses can't speak. I can already tell not having human company for probably the rest of my life is going to be hard, even Levi for company might have been nice.

_Did I just think that?_

I regret the thought and shake my head turning back to the road but I can't help but let my thoughts wonder to my old life back inside the walls. I wonder what everyone's doing now it must be about 7, breakfast I guess. My stomach rubbles at the word adding another complaint from my body to the list. Tired, hungry and lonely, this is all going great so far isn't it. I'm not going to deny it the silence around me is the worst out of the three. Maybe I wasn't crazy for thinking of Levi as company. I mean he's certainly no Mikasa or Armin but he is human and can talk…sometimes. I sigh forget about it.

* * *

><p>The village is less than 100 yards away and for a second I let my attention slip as I relax a little.<p>

Huh I might actually get there in one piece.

_Why did I even think that?_

A titan jumping out from behind a cluster of trees quickly dismisses any chances of that. I don't even have time to swerve it's that quick.

_FWOOOOOSH _

The air batters against my ears as I go flying off my horse too fast to see across the ground. I land ungracefully on my shoulder sending a bolt of pain down my left arm. I scream out in agony still tumbling on the grass not even bothering to stop myself; the pain is too blinding. I clutch at my arm as if that will make it better, squeezing my eyes tight. I don't want to open them, I don't want to get up and look at my arm, look at my enemy.

Loud thuds shake the ground as it approaches me.

_I don't want to open them_

The footsteps come closer.

_I don't want to open them_

I can feel healing steam against my face from my wound.

_I don't want to open them_

I can hear the grunting sound of a Titan bending over me.

_I don't want to open them_

I grasp my other hand around my blade

_I don't want to open them_

_So I open them_

A 5 meter titan looms smiling over me, his hand outstretched with fingers expanding out to my chest. I blink my eyes and grasp my blade waiting.

His hand comes crashing down next to me.

I roll over onto my front out of the way in time gritting my teeth together against the pain in my arm. It should be healing quicker why's it taking so long?

The titans hand smashes down at me again and I tumble out of the way, his hand skimming my face. Steam starts coming out of a cut on my cheek.

"Why do you have to make this harder than it is!" I shout rolling away from another blow.

I look over my right shoulder quickly still not bearing to see the state my arm is in. If it's not healing normally then something must be wrong. My eyes catch a glimpse of another 3 titans charging this way towards the fight.

Just what I need.

The other titan reaches down a final time and in one cut I chop his fingers off stopping him from grabbing me. I scurry backwards away and I jump to my feet. I've had close calls already, this is no different I can do this.

I turn my back on the titan and run for all my life, I need to find my damn horse. I dart my head about the plains but the only movement is the now 4 approaching titans. I can't fight a single one off without any means of transport, running on flat ground is practically a death sentence. I whistle loudly hoping the horse will follow and that it's just tucked somewhere I can't see it but no such luck. I grab my hair in desperation rattling my dozy brain for an idea.

_Titan_

_Titan_

_Titan _

It's all my brain can do for me. I glance down at my hand really trying hard to think of something else but my brain can't think of anything but it. The titans are nearly upon me, their footsteps knocking me all over the place. I fall over onto my arm again and I groan in pain. I still can't bear to look. It's bad I know. I cover my bad arm with one hand, feeling a jagged lump and I try not to think about it.

I stumble to my feet once again determined to keep running but my body bit by bit is shutting down either with pain or exhaustion. How much longer can I keep this up? I run the best I can towards the village but my feet keep catching every few steps on little mounds in the dirt. Every trip is like a weight upon me. I glance back towards the titans and a little gasp escapes my mouth as I see them nearly standing on me. I do my best to increase the speed of my screaming body as terror runs it like fuel.

It's not fast enough.

My foot has just stepped into the village when I'm bashed against a stone wall by a hand, my head hitting the surface like a window being hit with a stone. My mind freezes up and everything becomes suddenly blur as I try to look down the street. Outlines of more approaching Titans from the north of the village come into view and I can almost feel my heart slow down a little. I scrunch my eyes up as I lift my hand to my head, it comes away with blood.

I must be going crazy too because I laugh at the sight. All this is happening because for 1 second I relaxed a little, I take it I won't ever be relaxing again if this or worse will happen every time.

I push myself up the wall trying my best to see through the hazy cloud that is now my eyesight but everything is just washed into one. I can barley tell what's titan and what building. Another hand knocking me out into the street tells me that was a titan. I manage to land upright this time giving me a slight head start on running, well more like stumbling blind.

Where am I even going?

I try and make out anywhere that could be safe but none of it looks possible right now. I don't even notice that I can't feel my left arm anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if it's been bitten off I'm that confused. I try and shoot my hook into a nearby building but only one shoots sending me flying sideways into another wall. That's when I notice my arm isn't working. I groan in annoyance at the fact it's not healing, completely ignoring any other pain. I can't even move about now using my gear and it's just perfect that there are about 9 titans swarming me too.

I blink hard down seeing if that will work but the difference to my vision it makes is awful. On the bright side now I can see my own feet clearly!

Fuck, I really don't want to shift but I can't even see straight anymore. What choice do I have? I look at my right hand which is still covered in my own blood convincing myself If I want to live another minute I will have to change. I raise my hand to my mouth opening my jaw to bite down but my legs are swept from under me knocking my hand away. I instinctively grab my blades readying myself for a fight but an 8 metre titan already has me in his grasp upside down. I struggle and cut against his hand desperately trying to free myself. My limp hand drops one of my blades and I lose the other one trying to catch the falling handle.

This can't be happening like this?

I stare look down at my blades 5 metres down on the floor amazed at how unlucky this all is. I bet anyone else in my squad wouldn't be in this situation. Levi would be running rings around this thing, Armin would be setting up a trap and Mikasa wouldn't even bother to think about killing it. I'm useless on my own.

I'm lifted higher and higher above the ground until I'm looking straight down at a pair of yellow piercing eyes and a black hole of a mouth. I grunt and groan against the clamp of the titans hands trying to not end up its next meal. Looking down at my free hands my heart skips a beat in realisation. It's free.

"You're going to regret this you piece of shit!" I scream at the titan writhing against him.

"I'm not done with you! You want to see what it's like to be torn apart from the inside?"

The titan obviously unfazed by my threat holds me by my left foot over his mouth, crushing it in the process. I grit my teeth against the pain of my ankle shattering. I quickly bring my hand to my mouth and I bite down like there's no tomorrow which in my case there might not be.

* * *

><p>My eyes are scrunched up tight as I wait for the titan to emerge but all I feel is a steady flow of blood trickle down my chin from biting my hand. I snap open my eyes feeling confused.<p>

"Not again, not now!" I shout my eyes wide with fright.

My confusion quickly turns into rage as my face heats up in anger.

With no other option all I can do is struggle denying what is already happening. The titan's grasp releases and my legs slip from his fingers sending me plummeting down into his gaping mouth.

All I can do is try to avoid its teeth as his jaw snaps shut.

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><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

I have to listen to Levi lecture me on the 3 hour journey. Mostly everything that comes out of his mouth is sarcasm and ways that I could mess up the whole 'rescue' idea. The thing is I never said to him anything about a rescue; I'm not even sure what I'm doing myself. I just want Eren back, to be by his side. If that means staying out there so be it, anywhere is home if Eren's there. I'm hoping this won't have to happen but judging on everything that's happened lately I don't think getting back into the walls will be easy.

The whole ride was strange for me, I couldn't concentrate on one thought and my attention to the real world was absent, this never happens to me. It was all the little things too, how I might not Armin again, what it will be like safety wise out there, I might die before I even reach Eren if he's not dead already. I'm trying to be a realist with it all but my own selfish thoughts keeping getting in the way. I always put others first but the same thought keeps popping up in my mind,

_Why do you want to do this Mikasa?_

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><p>When we reach a wooden door that Levi tells me is the only way out I think he expects me to be surprised by the secret escape. I'm more surprised at myself that I'm not. I've always know the Survey corps keep things locked away from everyone and this is obviously one of them.<p>

"You not concerned about this unknown exit?" Levi questions.

"No, we all have secrets I try not to notice them anymore."

Levi gives me a questioning look but he returns to his blank expression without delving deeper.

We walk down a shady passageway towing our horses, not a single glimmer of light can be seen in either direction.

"I asked that damn Hanji to leave a few torches lit, can't see shit down here."

It's true I can't even see my own hands like this.

"Any matches?" I ask

I can hear Levi's breath quickly through his nose, is that a laugh?

"Why would I be carrying matches Ackerman? You're the one who practically dragged me out here the minute I got back."

I bite my lip stopping myself from making an insulting comment. He knows that this is important, no need to blame this little problem on me.

"How far is the end?" I say looking right into the darkness.

"About another 100 metres but there's pot holes in the floor and it wouldn't be the first time someone's tripped over and broke their neck. Some people are idiots I don't know why we let just anyone into the Survey Corps these days. Have it my way and every new recruit would have to go through my training routine for weeks but sadly Erwin isn't all for that," Levi says blankly.

Just as he mentions the potholes I trip over scraping my shoulder on the wall. I stop for a minute and brush myself off trying to be cool about it. I hear Levi sigh beside me.

"You just fell didn't you? I said some people were too stupid to be in the legion."

I bite my lip again forcing my annoyance down, I carry on walking.

"I'm not stupid, no one who joins the legion is stupid," I contradict my voice full of venom.

"People are stupid enough to join us; everyone knows it's suicidal to sign with our squads. They may think their being brave but the truth is their only feeding more titans," he states.

I take a shaky deep breath, "That doesn't make them stupid Captain, someone has to do it. You do realise you did just called yourself an idiot? Why would the 'great' Captain Levi want to become an Idiot In the first place?"

I hear his snort through his nose again, "I don't talk about the past Ackerman. What's done is done. My goal is to help humanity now, I want to forget the days I hurt it."

Well that wasn't an answer I was expecting.

"I heard that you were part of the criminal streak in wall Maria before you joined, I think everyone heard about it, didn't make me believe it but I guess I should have, it makes perfect sense. What exactly did you do?"

There's silence and we carry on walking, I begin to think he won't answer. I hear him breathe in.

"I got paid by rich men and sometimes women to inflict pain on others. I was well known for it actually. Governors, merchants, prostitutes, I had no area where I could work, they were all just the same and they were all punished by me for the same reason; money. I was ashamed for what I did but yet I could never stop. Some part of me enjoyed torturing them all, it made me forget of what happened before. I was looking for him, a certain man that I met once before needed to feel the same pain he inflicted on someone I cared about. He is more of a monster than I am," Levi pauses for a moment and swallows.

"I looked for years searching all over the walls for him but I never found a trace. My trainer called me mad, thinking that I made it all up but he never understood. I spent most of my time tracking him down and I worked on different cases slowly increasing my combat fighting. In the end I got too skilled for any of the other brats in my trade to like, they resented me. I noticed here and there but in the end I found out I wasn't welcome in the trade anymore when my own trainer tried to end me. Last time I saw him he had a knife in his back, nasty business. I walked away and then Erwin found me. I've never looked back since."

I carry on walking in silence shocked and almost frightened at what I've just heard. I feel my bottom lip quiver, I suddenly want to run away from him down the tunnel but I don't and I have no idea why.

Levi breaks the thick silence.

"I've haven't told anyone that in years, people ask but I don't acknowledge them. Erwin knows and that's it. Why did I tell you, I don't even know myself? Maybe it's because were the same you and I."

I choke on my own breath.

The same!

My jaw opens in shock, "How are we the same!" I say my voice rising.

"We are nothing alike! You kill innocent citizens for your own personal gain! I'm standing next to a psychotic murderer!"

Now I really want to get away, I want to find a door and run as far a way as possible.

I feel him stop beside me, were plunged into silence again. I breathe out ragged breaths; I'm actually shaking with fear and anger.

"So are you Miss Ackerman. I know what you and Eren did to those kidnappers. I know you threatened that merchant on the day Trost fell. I know you threatened to butcher members of the garrison to protect Eren. Don't deny the facts. You will kill to protect that boy and I will kill to protect my families name from that one monster. You will are keeping Eren safe from himself."

My lungs are burning from not breathing. We can't be the same…

"What do you mean you're family's name? You've already shunned them enough by the sounds of things. I protect mine what do you do?" I squeak out.

"I kill for revenge and to forget and as should you. Do me a favour and not let this conversation slip your lips or I'll cut them straight off. Were here I would like you to not question me again on personal matters," Levi coolly says his voice firm like talking about murder doesn't make him sick inside. It's making me sick that's for sure.

What did he mean by revenge for his family? The captains past seem darker than I could imagine.

"I'm surprised one of us hasn't broken a leg going down here in pitch black. Hanji is in for it when I get back, that stupid titan loving buffoon," he says.

I inhale deeply wanting to leave the unpleasantness of his company. The sooner I'm away from him the better, how could Eren even like this man?

"Help me get the door theres a little room either side of the gate that has pulleys. Pull them down on the left and I'll take the right."

I grunt in response which is as close as I will get to talking to him for now.

I walk to the side feeling the walls to guide me. I enter a room which is even darker than the hallway. The sent of damp and stale air is intoxicating. I bring my scarf to my mouth trying my best not to breathe in the smell.

A loud groan followed by muffled grunting can be heard next door.

"God this place is filthy, I wish someone would have the sense to clean the walls or just brush up a little, I just stood on a dead rat for fuck sake," Levi complains.

He really is a clean freak.

"The handle is even worse it's covered in mold. There must be millions of diseases down here. I think I might put Hanji on cleaning duty to repay for the lights."

I sigh into my scarf.

"You ready to pull Ackerman?"

I fumble around for the handle skimming things on the walls that I swear are moving. I ignore them as I locate the handle.

"Yes Sir," I call.

Sounds of clattering and cursing can be heard from the other room. He needs to get hold of himself. I wait for the command after the noise subsides.

"Pull!" Levi shouts and I follow the order.

The handle is stiff and slippy but it's no match for 2 of humanity's strongest, we open it in a few seconds.

"Well that was quick, not as week as I thought you were Ackerman," I hear Levi call.

I tighten my fist into balls feeling the urge to run and tackle him, I deicide I will do that when Eren's safe.

* * *

><p>We both walk back into the hallway and I stumble back away from the door suddenly blinded by sunlight. I squint and raise my arm over my eyes trying to see what lies ahead. Outside the door it's just flat plains and clusters of trees, I can see a lone titan in the distance plodding about.<p>

"There's your future then," Levi says sarcastically standing beside his horse.

I look over to him and he stares at me blankly in return.

"You're covered in grim you know," I say trying not to laugh at the moment.

Levi's eyes widen as he sees his cloak covered in muck. He rubs at it desperately with a cloth.

"Having problems there captain?" I mock feeling slightly proud.

"Shut up and get on that horse!" Levi shouts in reply.

I grin and walk over to my horse who is staring out the gate not phased by the titan who is slowly coming towards the wall. I rub its neck and climb onto my saddle adjusting my gear and scarf. Levi groans in front.

"Now hanji's defiantly dead," he says.

He walks over and looks me up and down wearing his usual poker face. I've always wondered how he never shows his emotion. I can act dead to everyone but once in awhile I let myself slip.

"You really want to risk you're life inside the walls for him?"

I furrow my brows, "he's my family he needs me and why do you keep saying that I wouldn't think anything different."

Levi breathes quickly through his nose letting out a snort.

"Always the word 'family' then? We both know he doesn't need you Ackerman, you need him. Everyone can tell, you can't keep one eye off him."

I feel my cheeks burn at this. Levi gives me a questioning look.

I swallow, "shut up Levi."

He gives me a quirky smile.

"I could have trained you up to be almost as good as me you know, we could have been invincible, but then I thought no one will be as good as me so that's all pointless."

"You're ego's too big for you Captain, you're little body can't handle it." I mock.

I see his jaw tighten insulted.

"You should go, looking at you is making me angry." He says.

"Gladly. When Eren and I get back I'll be sure to take you on in a fight, let's hope you can handle it." I say looking down at him.

He looks away from my eyes.

"Tch."

I shake my head and turn to face the doors, my horse shuffles below me. I inhale into my scarf taking in the sent, sometimes it smells like Eren, I really miss him I hope I'm not too late.

"Good luck you're going to need it," I hear Levi say boredly and I take that as a queue to leave. I snap my horse's reins and I gallop out the door.

_It's going to be okay Eren I swear_

_Where ever you go I will follow_

_I will not let any Titan touch you_

_If you die then I will fight until I join you_

_I will always run with you_

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><p><strong>Haha see what I did there at the end? I wanted to put the title in somewhere and I guess this was the place!<strong>

**Feel free to leave reviews I love reading them and I apolgise for no Eremika (don't kill me) it is coming I swear!**

**My tumblr page is in my profile if you want to talk to me that way and untiil next time enjoy!**

**(Don't forget to tell me about the chapter length thing!)**


	10. Chapter 10 - The Titan's World Of Today

**Hello Guys!**

**Okay so first off I am so sorry for the wait. How long was it? 3-4 weeks? But like I said I am so sorry i've been busy with revision for mocks and other stuff.I would have updated on sunday after my beta reader (_Kubiyo_) checked through this chapter but i've been away at a life changing place called HOBY which a few of you might know of? No? Okay well you should because it is amazing! **

**So before I rudely ended chapter updates for almost a month I asked you lot what I should do about the chapter lengths and you all wanted shorter chapters every week. Well guess what, you got it! As you can see this chapter is 5,000 words so this is the last long chapter for awhile until I can get my life together. Look foward to a chapter every week until then! **

**Thanks for all the reviews and favourites that you guys are giving. I like nothing better than reading them after a long day!**

**I'll stop waffling and let you guys read as I am feeling a lot more talkative after everything (sorry).**

**Wonderdfully beta read by _Kubiyo_ who you should all check out. No more grammar mistakes!**

**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN. I WISH.**

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><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

Eren's horse's tracks are easy for me to follow. I'm lucky that he travelled at night, so the damp dirt held the hooves form. Even now, in early morning, I can already see the rounded shapes becoming dried out and flaky.

I don't alter my path away from the trail, even after countless herds of titans lunging and running at me. I keep my eyes forward and my pace quick.

Midday and still no sign of Eren.

If he's going at the same speed I am, I'll never catch up to him and might have to travel at night, which I can't tell if that would be better or worse.

The not-as-many-titans-at-night side would be good, but it would mean I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on the tracks; I'd be galloping around blind.

One thing other than Eren slowing down (which I'm hoping for) is that he might change his course off the plains. I may be good with my gear but when 5 titans come at you on flat ground with no trees or buildings, it's bound to get messy.

Speaking of titans, there are three six meter class ones coming my way.

I sigh and look down at my blades.

I don't want to dull them all in one day, but it looks like it's going to be that way. Levi told me the next supply store out of the walls is 2 days away and I can't afford to alter my course.

I look around the rest of the plains, making sure it's just the thee titans (which it is), before grabbing my blades and increasing my horses pace. The first titan flails its hand at me and I jump off my horse into the air.

Here we go.

I fire my hooks into the neck of the titan bending down towards me. I fly round making a swift, clean cut.

Lucky for me, the titan was quite stupid.

I stand on its head as it comes down in a steaming mess, jumping backwards as it crashes to the ground. The other 2 titans notice me on the ground and one of them actually jumps towards me, jaw open wide.

I roll out the way in time, making the jumping titan's mouth sink into the back out the dead titan's head.

Out of all the things that could go wrong, I end up facing an abnormal on flat ground.

The abnormal struggles to unlatch its mouth off the other titan's head and grunts in anger.

I take its absence to the fight as an opportunity to take down the other titan with the goofy look on its face. I can wipe that away quickly if it wants.

That one, too, launches at me but it's clumsy and slow, unlike the abnormal. This one is more stupid than the other two. It almost falls over but still manages to stay upright.

I shoot a hook into its leg, swooping down and cutting both of the heels. The titan comes down onto it knees, its head looking around.

Dangling on it's thigh, I reel myself up to the torso area, looking back towards the other, still jaw trapped titan behind me, I turn back to the other titan, it's eyes wide and shocked by my presence. It flaps its arms around, scratching at me, but I manage to dart aside on my wires.

I've always wondered why I use my gear without a problem. It takes years for some trainees to move half my speed, which shows what controlling your mind like me can do.

I'm running along its back when it stands up again, sending me plummeting to the ground all of a sudden. My throat lets out a strangled cry as I'm jolted upside down by one on my wires and watch as the other disconnects from the titans legs. The titan spins around, trying to reach me, making the whole scene a blur in front of my eyes. Blood rushes to my head and I pull myself up, but the momentum of me swirling pulls me back down. I use all my energy trying to keep hold of my blades in their slots as I feel them rattle against me. Little black dots begin to spread across my vision as I can feel myself starting to go under from dizziness.

If I faint, I will surely be eaten and then all of this will be useless. I need to gain control of myself!

I pull desperately against my remaining hook, trying to disconnect myself.

I'm sure falling to the ground and breaking a few ribs is better than being covered in titan dribble and, oh right, being dead.

I give the wire a massive tug, but still it feels no looser than it did before.

"Why can't I do this? Mikasa, get a hold of yourself!" I cry, hoisting myself upright onto the wire.

My head is swimming with dizziness, ache and anger as I finally give up on pulling. I can feel my hands burning in pain from yanking at the rough edges of the wire.

I fall back, letting myself spin around. Again, not bothering to care about my hair lashing me in the face.

With no other option, I'm going to have to cut the hook off. I can probably fix it later, but it's going to make things harder to move about.

I breathe heavily through my nose as I whip out a blade, trying not to slice my own hand off from the momentum. I lift it out of the way.

Why does Eren have to make it so difficult for me? He should have thought about how I can reach him without being mauled by titans and wrecking my gear in the process. When I find him, I'll be sure to say thanks for all this.

I attempt a last pull on the hook and I honestly don't even know why I tried. My hands are raw and bloody from trying making the wires too slippery to touch again. There no other option.

I grab my bleeding hand around the blade's handle, preparing for the fall that will come after; I have to be ready to run, after all.

I raise it over my head, getting as much force behind it as possible. I bring it down but unfortunately, it's a little too late.

The world suddenly stops spinning and everything around me is still as I'm pulled to the floor by the wire.

* * *

><p>I collapse into a heap, into some bushes, slightly softening the fall. At least nothing's broken. My head is still spinning in different directions, but I don't feel like I'm going to pass out, at least. I lift my hand up to my head as I look ahead, confused at why I'm just sat here.<p>

In front of me stands the abnormal, with my now detached wire in his grip.

My hand flies to my left grapple hook and I find it's missing, confirming that the wire he has is mine. He holds it in an almost taunting way.

I need to teach that thing not to mock me!

Standing up, I fire my remaining wire into the titan's chest, taking it by surprise. The other titan I was on before is still spinning. It obviously doesn't know I'm not on his back anymore. How thick can these things get? I ignore the silly thing as I face the abnormal, blades at the ready.

It swings and snaps its mouth at me, scraping my skin and clothes but never quite grabbing me.

Now it's my turn to be the one mocking the other. Did it really think it would be leaving here alive?

I spin around its neck and under its flailing arms, finding the sensation quite thrilling. Some part of me likes facing this thing alone; I don't need a squad after all.

The abnormal roars and wails in annoyance every time it misses, making me risk my life even more.

I look down, flying over the titan's head, smiling to myself, but a thought suddenly wipes the grin off my face.

Why am I even having fun?

I shake my head and feel disgusted at the thought. Eren is running around out here, alone and in danger, and I'm here playing with monsters! I'm so blind!

The titan groans again and I resist the urge to toy with it more. I stop and fly towards the neck in a circle.

_Every minute you waste you're killing him, Mikasa, _I think.

I hate myself for being selfish, making me scream in anger while I violently slash at the titan's neck. I don't even stop when I know the thing is dead. I end up covered in titan blood from the messy kill, steaming blood radiating all over me.

However, creeping in the back of my mind, I can't help but imagine it's Eren's blood. All because I didn't get to him in time.

* * *

><p>I finish off the spinning titan with ease; it was too ridiculous to even notice I was stood next to it before it died.<p>

The landscape around me now is just mud and steam. I need to move as I'm sure this site is a dinner bell for other titans because it's pretty obvious I'm here now.

I gather my gear, which is now scattered around the dead battlefield - it must have all flown off my horse when I jumped off. I hope it's not gone astray too far, I need to leave this area as soon as possible as I'm sure in no time I'll be swarmed by titans again.

I look down towards my manoeuvre gear and sigh at its sorry looking state. Hook missing, most of my blades broken or blunt and I don't even want to look at my own blood, smeared on the handles.

I turn my palm over to look at the wire burns, but after looking at them for a second, my fingers coil my hand shut. The skin almost looks like butchers meat.

I'll just have to hope that nothing gets infected before I reach Eren.

What a way to die. Not by a hand of a titan but by my own hand killing itself.

I slip over, covering myself in mud multiple times looking for my lost wire. The ground is making it impossible to see. The ground and the steaming titans are making everything hazy. In the end I find my wire, but not without pulling a muscle in my arm pushing a damn titan's arm off of it. I'm lucky it's not crushed.

One thing they never taught us in the 104th squad is how to fix your gear. They said there would always be specially trained squads for that. Looking at it now, however, I kind of wish I spent some time with those squads. Armin always did.

I look down at the wire, trying to wrap my brain around it. I shove the wire back into its shoot.

No good.

I groan in annoyance at my mistake.

"I spend so much time training to kill these things with my gear that I don't even have time to study my weapons," I breathe in frustration.

After what feels like hours, I finally manage to fix the damn thing.

Well, I hope so anyway. I can't be sure after all that.

I walk away from the mess I've caused, cautious of the increasing amounts of titans appearing on the horizon.

I scan the plains for my horse but there's not even a sign of any tracks. An alarming thought pops into my mind.

How far did I run from Eren's trail?

I look over to the direction I think I came from, praying it wasn't too far. Besides, why am I thinking about this anyway? I can't do anything without my horse, anyway.

I whistle over and over, beckoning my steed to travel back my way. But ten minutes pass and there is no change in my quickly becoming dire situation. More titans are appearing in the distance and it's already late in the afternoon. If I'm not out of here before nightfall, I'm dead.

I travel towards the path I think I might have come from, calling as I run, increasing my chance of being heard by my horse and titans. If I get any more desperate, I'm worried I won't be able to control myself. If I can't do that, then I'm definitely going to be in trouble.

I feel like screaming as hope is replaced by doubt, my mind running over worst-case scenarios.

My head snaps about, searching. My hair, dripping with sweat, whips into my face and eyes.

Heavy footsteps echo in the distance as a 8 meter class titan comes into view.

I pull out one of my last blades, preparing to fight, but I can feel my motivation slipping away. A ragged breath escapes my lips.

So this is what it feels like to lose control huh.

* * *

><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

The titan's tongue is slippery and wet. It's the only thing I can think about as I tumble down, into the titan's empty stomach.

My fingers claw at the flesh, trying to save myself from this fate again. I still can't accept that it'll be impossible to escape.

The pain in my arm continues to make me feel hazy, even in this situation. Maybe that's the reason I can't shift and not that I can't find a reason to tell myself to change.

_Yeah, that's right Eren, find something to blame your death on in you're final moments. A real hero's action that is._

I shake my head, trying to ignore what I'm telling myself. I block out everything that isn't me concentrating on saving myself. My hands are like claws, digging into the titan's fleshy tongue. I can't believe I've been in this situation before. At least then I was dying for a good cause, to save Armin. Now look at me.

_Not helping!_

I think of all the ways I could get out of here. Seeing only 3 options, one of which I'm pretty sure isn't possible anymore.

The first option is me transforming and ripping this titan to shreds and trashing the village and the other titans. Though, this option would need a miracle for it being able to happen.

Second option. I continue to hold until nightfall, when this thing will collapse and go to sleep, giving me a chance to cut my way out of here. The titan won't be able to do a fucking thing. Bad news here is, I doubt I could hold on 5 minutes more, let alone 5 hours until night time.

Or option three: I end it myself, right here right now. Like a man. I can grab my blade and just cut away the pain so this piece of crap doesn't get to take me alive. I won't be a coward this way; I'll be strong, like my mother was.

I think of my chances over and over, hoping that number one might be possible. I bite my hand again, just to be sure, removing the clotted blood on the surface of my past bite as I do. I close my eyes, waiting for a lightning bolt to strike me and steam to emit.

No luck.

I open my eyes, gripping my other hand back onto the tongue. I was really hoping for that option to succeed. Two left.

I can already feel my already screaming with pain arms telling me to let go, and I really don't believe I could hold on like this for much longer. I can't believe I'm still here now. Right on queue, my weak arm slips, leaving my left supporting my body weight alone.

I let out a distressed noise as my hand does it's best to hang on.

I can't.

That leaves only one other option.

I glance down at my holstered blades, thinking of how I could end this. I don't want to die without a choice. I want to do it myself and not let anyone have the satisfaction.

I pull out a blade and marvel the reflection of the metal in my hand. I catch sight of myself.

God, I look like crap.

My mind is only imagining what I will look like taking my own life now. Slicing my neck, finally letting go, to fall lifeless into the stomach of the beast. Being able to tell myself that the titan didn't take my life for his pleasure. Is this really the only way?

If only my hands were strong and sharp enough to keep me hanging on like this for a little longer. It's all so tiring. I just want to sleep.

I relax against the tongue a little, thinking of the world of dreams. The blade presses into the flesh of the titan, reliving the weight of my body a little.

My body stiffens up as my eyes widen. The weight just got a little lighter!

I push myself up and stare at the implanted blade supporting me. A smirk spreads across my face.

I press the blade in further, feeling even more relieved as my body is relieved. The blade is stronger and sharper than my hands. Is option two actually happening?

I grab another blade with my complaining arm, which is being stubborn, to help, but I manage. I drive the tip into the titan's tongue, feeling my whole body being lifted by the blades. A glimmer of hope sparks inside of my stomach.

_I can do this._

I let myself dangle by the blades, ignoring every ounce of stress and pain my falling apart body is telling me. My hands tighten around the blades' handle as I take one out of the flesh and reposition it further up the tongue. It holds just fine, sending a flood or relief through my veins. I might actually be able to get out of here!

I snap my face up, concentrating on moving across the tongue to the titan's cheek. Every incision I make, the titan's tongue moves, making me feel like he'll force me down his throat at any moment. Thankfully, it doesn't. And by the looks of things, all he's able to do is tilt his head back. I'm not going back into a titan's stomach, so the thing might as well just accept that today, I'm not getting eaten.

I make it over to the right side of the mouth, pressing myself up against it's teeth. I need to get past these things to cut the cheek and I'm pretty sure I don't want to do anything that's going to get me chewed up.

The titan's soft gums are the only thing I can think of that might hurt when wounded. The tongue doesn't seem to have any pain receptors, yet another thing we don't know about titans due to the fact not many people have come out of a titan's mouth and lived to share their findings.

I'm surprised that Hanji isn't sending people inside already, to be honest. Or that she isn't even going in herself. That woman's crazy enough that she might enjoy my situation right now. Thoughts aside, I don't think that pondering over what Hanji would do is going to help me get out, so let's forget anything like that. I don't want to get myself killed now.

I look down at my dull blades. Are these sharp enough to cut through gums and slice open this thing's cheek? My other blades aren't much better, either; I need to reach a supply store after all this.

I take a deep breath as I position one of the blades over the top gums.

"As the captain would say, 'stay still so I can get a clean cut'. But in this case, it's not really for the messy side, rather the side where I don't want to be torn in two."

I take another breath and then plunge the blade in.

At first, nothing happens and I begin to doubt the titan can feel it. But only seconds later, I find myself mistaken. The whole mouth shakes and stretches as the titan howls in pain, sending me flying off the tongue into the roof of it's mouth. Saliva drips off my hair and down my back. Great.

I look across to the side of the mouth as I see the dark pink of a cheek. The titan's screams are giving me a chance to escape.

I waste no time in shuffling over and I tread carefully onto the titan's teeth. The minute it knows I'm in this position I can say goodbye to my bones.

My eyes skim my blade and their bluntness worries me a little. There's not a lot I can do about it now, though. I hack at the fleshy cheek and the titan's mouth opens wide again. I expect to feel myself being crushed between its teeth but another howl of pain just confirms what I'm doing is hurting it.

"You deserve all of this pain, you piece of shit!" I scream as I violently swing my blade all over the place.

Rays of light suddenly blind me as I break through the skin and out into the wide open air. The titan stops screaming, quickly catching on to what I'm doing but it's a little too late. I'm already jumping out through the slit in its mouth, falling to the ground below.

* * *

><p>Its jaw slams shut behind me, just missing my legs. I hear my cape rip and I assume that I must have lost part of it. At least it weren't my legs.<p>

My arms and legs sprawl out in the air as I fall ungracefully to the ground, narrowly avoiding my wounded arm from hitting the floor. I land on my back, knocking the air right out of me. The titan above me is holding his hand to his cheek.

Nice to see those damn things can feel pain.

Distracted, it doesn't notice me get up and run to a nearby alleyway. By the time it does realise I'm gone, there's no chance he can see me. I'm hidden in the shadows of humanity's past.

I lean against a nearby wall and I don't bother to stop myself sliding down the side. I just let myself sit there, breathing heavily.

The alleyway is dark and narrow, making it easy enough to be overlooked. I wonder what it was used for before this village was abandoned. I try to imagine backdoor vendors haggling prices to desperate families, or children chasing each other through the thatched houses, but every imagination ends in a titan invading my mind. All I can see is the vendors being snatched away, dropping their merchandise. The children being cornered, shivering away from giant hands.

This world turns everything beautiful into horror and blood.

I peek my head around the corner into the main street, seeing way too many titans for comfort. I may be safe here for now, but I can't be sure that a 4-meter titan couldn't fit in here with me. The alley might be useless against smaller ones.

I take my hiding place as safe haven for now; I can't be too picky with my arm dropping off, speaking of which I still haven't been able to bring myself to look at yet. What have I even done to myself? I haven't felt any signs of healing.

I clench my teeth together and decide to man up to the pain. I turn to my arm to asess the size of the problem.

I stare at my arm in disbelief.

"Shit." Now I can see why it's not healing, and in no way is it good.

The top part of my arm is twisted at a funny angle and when I try to move it, nothing works. The whole thing is flopping about rather awkwardly. That's not the worst part however, the worst part is that there's steam radiating off my skin but nothing is happening. The dislocation is stopping the bone from being healed.

I shuffle about uncomfortably, never taking my eyes off the injury. I'm going to have to set it back in. My mind searches of ways to do that.

Of course we did first aid in training when we joined the military, but I never thought I would have to apply it to myself. Shadis always told us that if we ever needed first aid, we would probably be already titan food.

Just great.

Armin had a dislocated shoulder once, he set it back himself in front of me without even thinking about it. He screamed like hell but it worked.

How hard can it be, then?

I breathe in deeply, placing my hand on my arm, getting ready to pull. I think of what Armin did and I match it in my mind as best as I can.

I don't do it right, though.

I howl in pain and darkness pulls me under.

* * *

><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

My blades keep slipping in my hands as my palms become clammy. I'm not in the right mindset for this.

Darn horse, I thought I trained it well enough to come back at my call. I guess I can't be good at everything.

I wipe my hands on my pants, trying to compose myself as the titan draws closer.

_What's wrong with me? I've never felt so worried, and here I am, actually doubting myself. What would everyone I love think if I doubted myself?_

I take short breaths through my mouth, calming me a little. Panic can turn anyone crazy and this needs to stop.

The titan approaches slowly from the distance, its feet waddling from side to side. I look around again, checking it's only that one, but also never giving up hope on my horse returning.

The titan is less than 50 meters away when I hear it, a distant whinny of a horse.

My heart jumps into my throat and I holster my blades, running towards the sound. The titan changes its direction to follow me, still keeping a slow pace.

The whinny gets louder and hoof beats vibrate through the ground the closer I get.

All at once, everything erupts into chaos. A horse pulls out from behind a bush blocking my path and I don't think twice before jumping onto it. That's when the titan starts running towards us.

I crane my neck to the side, seeing the titan approaching alongside me. I snap the horse's reins at the sudden change, wanting nothing more than to escape the titan. I don't think I'm in the mood for another fight just yet.

I ride at full pelt for an hour, making sure we have definitely lost all titans in the area. It's not 'till I stop that I realize that the horse I'm riding isn't my own.

I step off the horse, petting it on the head, scanning it over for damage. My eyes widen in horror as my gaze lands on the embroidered name on the saddle.

Stitched there, in golden letters is a name I really didn't want to find alone.

_Eren_

* * *

><p>I spend the next hour pacing up and down in an enclosed woodland, thinking the situation over. I don't panic, I just pace.<p>

_How could he lose his horse so soon?_

_He can't be far if he's been on foot for awhile?_

_Maybe he's already dead._

_Shut up, Mikasa._

I bite my lip at the last thought.

The horse just stands there looking at me, almost judgingly.

Why didn't Eren call him back? Maybe he left it on purpose to fight but even then it should have stayed nearby. That's what my horse should have done anyway, god knows where that thing's gone.

I walk over to the saddle, again dipping my hands in the side pockets, feeling around for anything that could tell me where he is. I find 3 maps that Levi must have given him, all of them containing information about Survey Corps supplies. That must be where he was going. The nearest one is hours away, though, which worries me.

I stuff the maps sloppily back into the pocket and begin pacing again. My head contains no certain emotion at the moment. I could break down and cry right now, but I also feel like I could laugh with joy.

Eren could be closer than I thought, but he could also be dead.

I swallow hard.

The wind rustles through the trees, making my hair whip across my face. I look up into the trees, spotting the first signs of sunset.

If I want to find Eren, I'll have to be quick, or we'll both get lost in the dark.

The horse knickers at the leaves blowing in its face and I walk over to brush them off. I pat its neck.

"You're not the only one missing your rider," I sigh.

The wind sounds again and I can hear an animal cry in the distance. Dying animals aren't unfamiliar to me, my father used to hunt them all the time when I was young.

I think nothing of the sound until it sounds again, this time louder and more distinct.

My head shoots up and I wonder closer to the sound curious. What kind of animal screams?

"Ahhhh!"

I choke on my own breath. That's no animal.

My legs jump into action, moving with the sound of my breathing, fast and hard, to the outskirts of the woods. The howling stops and so does my heart. If that's what I think it is then-

I clear my mind as I leap from the treeline. I bring my hand to my head, composing myself for the battlefield before me.

A small village would normally be deserted by titans but that is definitely not the case here. Before me, at least 30 titans arrive, swarming the little village. I've never seen titans quite like this. They all run together, pushing and climbing over one another.

I hear a muffled howl echo from the centre of the village. A tone of voice I've heard every day for the past 6 years.

My body shakes with rage as my teeth clench together and my eyes narrow.

He's here and he's alive.

I'm not going to lose him when I'm so close. I will make sure within the next hour this village will be nothing but steam and ashes.

A yell booms out of my lungs as I charge towards the village, my blades drawn.

"Pay attention to me, you monsters! I want you to see me when I chop your bodies into tiny chunks!"

Titan heads slowly turn in my direction and then all of a sudden they're charging.

Titans of all heights jump and lunge at me as I fly through the air, their fingers barely missing me but yet, I don't stop till I'm at the heart of the village.

An abnormal gets ready to pounce but I swoop down to its neck before it can even leave the ground. My blades find a home in its neck and the battle begins.

* * *

><p><strong>So what you think? <strong>

**No Eremika in this chapter, feel free to burn me at the stake, but now we know they are finally going to meet! I already have a little Eremika scene planned for their (dramatic) reunion! Lets just say Eren's feelings can cause a little trouble for Mikasa. Things might just catch up to Eren...**

**As always reviews are welcome! Feel free to complain about the time gap or the lack of Eremika in this chapter but it is coming. I say it every chapter but it is!**

**Follow the story if you want more action (or confusion) from me and i'll be back soon!**

**My tumblr page is in my profile so you can reach me that way too!**

**:)**


	11. Chapter 11 - The Wings and Red Of Today

**Hey Guys! I'm not going to waffle about everything right now I really just wanna get this chapter up.**

**I will say though that I read your reviews and there was many comments about the lack of Eremika and yes I am a very good writer at not getting to the point as you can tell. Hopefully however, this chapter gives you a a spark of Eremika as yes it's happening in this part! It's not as much as I might have liked but you wanted smaller chapters every week so I tried my best.**

**Anyway I hope you Enjoy this Chapter and the little hints of the past I put in now and then. One thing I always loved about SnK is the little memories they always put in. The Jean OVA ones were so cute to me!**

**Happy Reading!**

**Beta read by Kubiyo!**

**(^ She has a fic on her page that you should check out in my opinion :) ^)**

**DICLAIMER - NO RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN GO TO ME JUST MY FANFICTION**

* * *

><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

Usually when I wake up after what feels like a long sleep I have breakfast and a talk with Armin. What I'd give for that right now.

Instead of breakfast at HQ I'm rewarded with a swollen, dislocated shoulder. My usually cheery conversation with Armin is replaced by titan grunts and clawing hands as I'm slowly pressed further into the alley.

Mornings sure could be going better.

My measly attempt to pop my shoulder back in failed, of course. My arm just looks like a bulging mess. Looks like I need to work on my first aid skills.

I scan the narrow alley for a gap inbetween the titans but all I can see is limbs and excited faces. I don't think I've seen this many titans on top of each other at once. These obviously haven't had a human being around for a while.

I breathe in deeply, calming myself down. As long as they can't reach me here, they'll probably lose interest in a few hours.

That is, if I haven't died of a blood clot in my arm by then. I can already see my veins defined and pressing against my skin. I pull my sleeve down as far as it can go, trying not to think about it. The pain is driving me crazy enough as it is.

Hands push deeper into my little space as smaller titans emerge between the legs of the bigger ones. A 3-meter class titan comes into view, its eyes locking onto mine.

Shit.

The creature crawls through the stamping legs, barely acknowledging the times it gets crushed against the wall. It keeps coming until it's clear of the others, heading straight down the alley.

My eyes widen and everything freezes for a moment. I forget the pain in my arm and the other titans. All I can see are the eyes of the titan approaching me. My heart pounding against my ribcage brings me back to the real world and my legs push my body backwards, away from the titan.

The houses that make up the alley are small and wooden, most of them rotten and falling apart and wouldn't stand a chance against a banging titan. A strong iron door or a basement would be good about now but all I've got are these termite ridden shacks.

I dart my eyes away from the titans, just long enough for me to catch sight of a house that still reminds me of a house. A few more shuffles back and I'll be there. It'll have to do.

I scurry back enough to line up with the door and before the titan can pounce, I'm up on my feet and running for it.

My good arm smashes against the door with full force and whatever lock was on it shatters, sending me flying across the kitchen floor inside. Thank god the door slams shut behind me.

The 3-meter class arrives seconds later, peering through the window before moving towards the door. Without thinking I run straight for the door, checking for a lock but only seeing the busted wooden latch on the floor. I dart my eyes around for anything that can hold the titan off but everything is rotten and useless. I push myself against the door in desperation. A large jolt from the other side causes me to fall onto the floor again. I don't have time to reposition myself before another charge from the titan sends the wooden door raining down on me in splinters. One catches my cheek, sending a trail of blood down my chin.

I wipe the trickle away as I watch the titan struggle to fit through the door frame. The wooden structure cracks at the force.

An outstretched hand attempts to pull me through but I still carry enough sense to pull out my blades. I swipe its fingers away with one clean movement, ejecting hot steam into my face.

The titan looks confused at its hand for a moment and I almost marvel at its stupidity.

"That's right, you lost your fingers, you idiot! Come in here and feel what it's like to lose your eyesight!" I scream in anger, though I'm not sure if I'm angry with myself or the titan.

It looks away from its hand and back to me, its eyes boring into my skull. It looks at its hand again and I begin to think it's questioning me, but before I can thoroughly check If I'm right I'm already on the floor again.

Damn titan knocked me down while I was thinking!

I rub my head, ignoring the blood that comes away with my hand. I can worry about my body falling apart later. I have to kill this bumbling buffoon first!

Grabbing my blade, I stride over to the door again, my blood boiling. I ready myself, planning that I'll jump on this titan's back and kill it. Far fetched, maybe, but I'm crazy enough at the moment to do it.

I take a deep breath again and charge out the shameful wooden house and back out into the alley, my blades positioned to strike.

I don't know whether to laugh or scream at what is around me or rather what isn't around me.

The titan that attacked me is running fast down the alley away from me, not even looking back.

I look around me in all directions and raise my eyebrows at the clear space on all sides. Not a single titan in sight.

* * *

><p>In any other case I would question why all the titans have suddenly shot off. However, now I just take it all as a lucky break to run as fast as I can in the other direction.<p>

I take off down the alley, away from the loud footsteps and groan at the echo behind me. Maybe if I was as crazy as Hanji, I might turn and run the other away to check it all out, but I'm not. I'll just let whatever those titans want deal with them all.

I trip and fall multiple times, running over the cracked streets. It's all just one thin passage after another and its takes me a while to realize I'm lost.

This whole town is a maze.

I try the old trick my dad told me about mazes of following the left wall but it doesn't work. I just end up back near the titan-filled alley where it all started.

I curse under my breath in anger. I swear, this village was really small.

The alley is quiet and the thuds of walking titans have faded slightly. Maybe risking a look from the top of one of these houses might be worth a try. If worst comes to worst, I could die a painful death from a titan eating me. Saves me looking for a way out of this town in the state I am, at least.

I tap my gas canister on my gear, checking my gas. Nearly empty. I bite my lip as I think about how much this will last me. Maybe half an hour of manoeuvring if I'm lucky?

I put my hand gears on my belt away, deciding to save the rest of the gas for later. I guess I can scale my way up.

The building opposite to me seems like a good shot to climb. There are enough holes in the damn thing it might as well be a massive ladder.

I approach the wall and begin to climb carefully, watching my footing. My arm complains every time I put strain on my abs, sending shocks across my nerves. The building may only be 7 meters up but just by looking down I can tell the fall would be the end of me. I mean I don't even know how much strength I can use now, let alone the fact I'm falling apart!

Just as that thought pops into my head I make a wrong step and suddenly I'm dangling by my right arm. Bits of rotten wood and debris rain down on the floor as my feet scrape across the building.

My arm muscles strain against the weight of my body. I attempt at using my other injured arm to support me, causing a sharp sound of pain to escape my throat. I need to remind myself not to try that again.

I manage to regain my footing on what once was probably a window ledge but now is just a plank of sorry looking wood. I really don't want to rely on this thing to hold my weight, I would much rather have a stairway or a full tank of gas, but that all sounds like a dream to me now.

* * *

><p>With a lot of struggle and multiple accounts of my arm trying to kill me I manage to reach the top of the building.<p>

I don't even bother thinking about the many holes in the roof as I walk across the tiles, the infrastructure groaning under my weight.

The village is definitely not as big as it seemed from down there. The street system really did make it feel like a city.

I look away from the ground and back up towards the surrounding area. At first it seems almost like there have been no signs of any titans. The place is deserted in the west part of the village. It's not until you face the other way that you see everything that's gone wrong. Steam radiates off mass piles of titan bodies, each one appearing to have a perfect cut to the neck. Only a trained solider could have done that.

The first thought is that military has actually caught up to me. Maybe I wasn't as far ahead as I thought I was. Could they really be that fast at catching me? Levi told me that they might come after me, but already? How long was I blacked out for?

More titans advance from the north of the village towards the steaming mounds in front of me. Sounds of metal and gas echo across the house tops, no more than 2 streets down.

I duck down onto my knees out of fear that I may be caught.

A 5-meter class titan crosses in front of me and I press myself against the roof as a figure zips past me on their gear. Too fast for me to tell which section of the military they are from.

The titan wafts their hands about, trying to catch the attacker but within 5 seconds, the creature is already falling face first to the floor.

I look up for the figure again, but it seems that they have already moved onto their next kill. Three 7-meter class titans surround the square, though I don't see any more titans coming. The steam must have drawn the last of them out.

My jaw hangs agape a little before I can even realize that one of the titans is falling to the ground. How the hell?

I scan the area again, feeling a spike of jealously for the hunter's skill with the gear. They are almost as good with it as Captain Levi!

Steam produced off the titan's decaying body in front of my hiding spot obscures the fight and I stand up, attempting to see well. My head is screaming at me for being so ridiculous, if it's the king's men, then standing up is going to end in me with a blade in my back!

Everything is telling me not to but yet, I can't help just standing there in the open, watching the way they elegantly move.

Another waft of steam blocks my vision as I walk on the roof, searching for a visible window to watch the battle.

Another thud confirms the next titan is down.

Now ignoring all instincts to hide, I walk across the rooftops towards a visible spot, my mind a jumble of madness. I manage to reach a clear viewpoint of the last titan, its neck facing me, giving me a perfect seat to see the figure. I wait silently for the last strike.

Minutes pass and I begin to think they've given up or moved on. Hell, they might even be dead.

I strain my neck, looking around the streets searching for any signs of movement, but everything is just as quiet as it was before I even got here. There's not even a single titan apart from this one.

I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I just risked my life to see this idiot and the minute I have the chance they've just shot off.

Turning my back on the titan, I begin to walk towards the buildings edge. No point standing around here like titan food.

My hand is just on the roofs edge when I hear it, the clink of manoeuvre gear.

Without thinking, I scramble back over to the viewpoint, spotting the figure leaning on the titan's neck, their two blades implanted firmly into the neck. A ragged breath escapes my lips as everything fits together in my mind.

Normal people would be transfixed on the agility of the persons skill to kill a titan as silent and easily as they did.

Not me.

I can't tear my eyes away from the clothes they wear, the green cloak, bearing the wings of freedom on its back and the familiar, warm red scarf around their porcelain white neck.

Mikasa.

My throat goes dry as she falls with the titan, riding on its back as it plummets to the ground.

All this time she's been following me. She's been tracking me. She's been looking for me. My head is spinning as it fights with every emotion possible.

So I don't have to be out here on my own anymore? How could she put herself in danger like this? Did she think I couldn't survive on my own? Why didn't the rest of the legion accompany her? Will she be angry with me for not saying goodbye?

If I opened my arms to her right now, would she run into them?

For some strange reason, the strongest thought out of them all is that last one.

* * *

><p>My mouth is open and ready to speak but all that comes out when I try is a pitiful sound, like a wheezing or dying animal. I can't even get off my knees to go to her.<p>

Mikasa steps off the titan's decomposing body and returns her blades to their holster. I guess she's cleaned out the whole area. I feel a pang of jealously go off in my stomach. I couldn't even take down one and she's taken down, what, 30?

Worst part is, she doesn't even look fazed by any of it.

I continue to kneel of the rooftop, just watching her movements. Some part of me still thinks it's all a dream, or a nightmare. I still haven't figured out which one it is yet.

She scans the area and looks down the street before crouching down on the floor to retrieve a lost blade. From this angle I notice that she's looking in the blade's reflection, at all the smouldering titan blood that's plastered across her face. She takes her cloak and wipes it away, pretending not to notice the deep gash across her forehead.

I smirk a little at her; she never likes to admit it when she's wounded. I don't think she cares to seem weakened.

I blank out, remembering as kids how she once cut her knee on a rock while running through the meadow after me. She didn't even cry when blood started pouring down her leg like a waterfall. I find it quite funny how she even told me not to get my father. Even then, she was strong.

I'm suddenly snapped out of my daze by footsteps running away from my rooftop. I shoot my head up, forgetting the meadow to see Mikasa running down the street into the distance. Her head swipes from side to side and I realise she's searching for me. Of course, that's why she's here. I've always hated how overprotective she can be sometimes.

She continues to run, soon to be blocked from my view by titan bodies that have built up around the town.

Realizing, my legs force me to scramble to my feet, even though everything aches. I return my gaze to Mikasa. She's nearly round the corner. I need to catch her.

My lips part and I whisper her name, my voice cracking. She continues to fade away into the smoke.

"Mikasa…" I choke out, a little louder, but she still doesn't turn. Like she's going to hear that!

It's now or never, I think.

I cup my hands over my mouth. "Mikasa!" I scream, shaking my lungs.

She stops in her tracks just before the steam cloud. Her body turns slowly to face my direction and our eyes meet across the blood and dust.

Neither one of us moves as we stand there like statues. It feels like we're together but alone completely.

My heart pounds in my chest and my breaths are almost painful. I feel like my body might shatter at any moment.

The wind whistles around us in spirals, whipping Mikasa's hair across her face, yet I don't tear my gaze from her face. I don't want to blink and see her vanish.

At first I begin to think its all one never ending dream, that I'm still blacked out from injury in the alley. Maybe it is a dream, maybe I never woke up from fixing my arm. It's all too still to be real.

My breath catches as she begins to come forward. Her feet shuffle at first, unsure of whether to move. Then all at once she's running towards me, her blades clanking inside her gear.

My eyes widen at her sudden movement, she's just coming, not even looking around. This can't be a dream…

Without thinking I do the same, ignoring any feeling of danger, any feeling of pain, I just run.

I swing down using my gear from the roof and sprint across the square, jumping over bodies and fallen debris as I go. All this time we never leave each others eyes. I notice Mikasa's are watering. I've never seen her cry before. I smile at the sight and find my own cheeks wet with tears. Not tears of sadness, but happiness. I really didn't think I'd ever smile again after leaving then walls. Only Mikasa could do that.

We reach each other and it's like a crash. Our panting bodies collide against each other and I wrap my arms around her, bringing her into my chest. I breathe against her abnormally soft hair and I let the tears fall. It's all just one big mess but neither of us seems to care.

Seeing her now has made me realize. How could I just leave her alone? I can't imagine never seeing her again.

I laugh into her hair. "You're so stupid Mikasa, you could've gotten yourself killed," I whisper into her ear, my voice shaking.

She smiles against my neck, "Eren, we both know you can't be alone, I need you and you need me. Anything else is unnatural."

My grin widens and I tighten my arms around her.

I can't believe she would just risk everything like that. I wouldn't be surprised if she went against Levi as well. I would have loved to see that.

There's another thing I can't help thinking about and I don't know how to feel. She didn't mention the word family once.

* * *

><p>When we leave each others arms I notice Mikasa's face flush, though only for a second. She doesn't even look at me.<p>

I feel slightly shy myself. I've never hugged her like that before, maybe it's the fact I was just desperate for human company.

She adjusts her scarf and looks back towards me, biting her lip. I feel a slight spike of warmth in my stomach.

I look away from her, what's gotten into me? You're dying Eren, your arm is falling off! Don't think about anything else right now.

"I cleared them all out. You really got yourself in a mess, Eren. Are you okay? Did any of them hurt you?When was the last time you slept?" Mikasa says, eyeing me.

I roll my injured shoulder back, trying to stand up straight and look strong. I feel everything but strong but I don't need her babying me. I should be helping her. "Yeah, I just pulled a muscle in my arm, that's all," I lie.

Mikasa's eyes narrow. "Eren, if you're injured I can help. Let me see," she says in a calm tone.

"Mikasa, its okay. I don't need your- Ahhh!" I let out a cry of pain as she presses her hand onto my dislocated shoulder.

"That fucking hurt!" I shout, grabbing my shoulder.

Mikasa stares into my eyes and pushes me down to the floor before coming up behind me. "I'll do it again if you don't let me see it. Just be silent," she orders, and for once I follow what she's saying. I'll let her help just once. Maybe she knows more than I do.

She begins with taking off my torn cloak and jacket. I hear her gasp a little as she edges my shirt down to take a look. I know it looks bad, but this bad?

"Eren, how did you-?" she starts but I interrupt her, not wanting to think back to my many failures.

"Doesn't matter, can you fix it?" I ask.

She trails her fingers down my shoulder and back, sending shivers through my spine. Her touch is like silk.

"Yes, it's just dislocated and very swollen." She answers. "I'll just have to pull it back in. Ready?"

I turn around, sharply alarmed. "What now?"

"Yes now. There are no titans and you certainly can't use your gear, so why not?"

I look at my bulging shoulder. Mikasa waits for my reply.

"Well, shouldn't we get inside?" I say, thinking of how it'll look, me writhing around in pain.

Mikasa cocks her head to the side slightly. "Eh?"

I look at the distant tower building. "Well, you know-ahhhhh!"

I lash out in pain as Mikasa pulls my arm back into its socket. I glare at her as she gives a hint of a smile.

"No need to be so loud," she says.

"Hmm," I moan, rolling my arm back a forth in a way that's not friendly, "Thanks, I guess."

I put my uniform back on. Mikasa stands up and brushes herself off looking away. I stand up to join her.

"We should head towards the nearest supply store. I'm nearly out of gas." Mikasa taps her gas can. It sounds almost empty.

"Yeah, good idea." She begins to walk forwards ahead, towards the plains outside the village. It suddenly occurs to me: I don't know where my horse is. I look over at Mikasa and open my mouth to say something.

"Hey Mikasa, have you seen-," I start, but she shushes me. I look over to where she's facing, confused. I don't see anything.

Mikasa crouches down against a building and I do the same. She draws her blades.

"I thought you killed them all?" I rasp.

"I did, but your screaming must have drawn more," she whispers, slightly annoyed.

Has she tried staying quiet when you're in that much pain? I put the away and pull out my own blades. I look down the street to see 3 titans approaching.

No gas. Aching all over. This should be fun.

"How do we approach this?" I ask Mikasa.

"'We don't. You stay here, you're still healing. I can see the steam radiating off your skin." She says.

I look down to see she's right. I didn't even notice. I suddenly realise what she's insinuating.

"Hey, I am not going to let you fight them on your own! I'm nearly healed and you're exhausted!" I snap.

"Eren, you will just get in the way! Please just stay here. I'll be back in a minute. If you died right now I wouldn't even know what to do," she pleads, her face still calm and collected.

"You're not even suppose to be here Mikasa."

I sigh in annoyance and she takes that as a yes.

Mikasa runs off towards the titans before I can even argue.

"Mikasa, wait!" I call, but she's already racing down the street. "Argh!"

I scan the buildings and pick one out that I can reach. She's not losing me that easily.

I fly my hooks onto a roof and use my remaining gas to pull myself up. I look over to see Mikasa already battling away at the titans. I can see she's outnumbered.

I run along the roofs going as fast as I can, but a uptilted tile makes me trip. My arm throbs in pain. I grab it in annoyance. "Damn it, damn me, just damn everything!" I shout, standing up, just staring at the fight.

One titan slams to the ground as Mikasa slices it through.

A familiar feeling of jealously runs through me. How can she move that fast? She has never shown any motivation to fight. I must try twice as much as she does. Like, what is she playing at?

Mikasa tries at the second titan and misses its neck by inches. Its hand grabs her wire.

I gasp in shock as she's pulled backwards. If I could just heal quicker I wouldn't have to stand here. I stare down at my arm. Hurry the fuck up!

I look up just in time to see Mikasa luckily spins out of the titans grasp.

Sighing and unconsciously tugging at my neck angrily, I draw my attention to the pain I feel. I pull at my shoulder thinking injuring myself more might help in some way. I suddenly hear a click and a jet of steam escape from my arm. Electric feeling courses through my veins as my body light's up and my eyes widen in shock. Oh no.

Everything goes red in my mind. Out of all the times to turn into a titan, it had to be now.

Well, so much for being quiet.

* * *

><p><strong>What you think? A little taster of whats to come and (finally) the reunion. Will Eren be able to keep his emotions and anger undercontrol? Will the king send any men after the two of them? How will Mikasa react to Eren's instincts protect the both of them?<strong>

**1 week wait to find out! Really excited to write the next chapter but I won't spoil why.**

**As always reviews and comments are lovely and helpful. Feel free to follow _I'll Always Run With You _to be updated on new chapters!**

**Till next time ^.^**


	12. Chapter 12 - The Shots of Now

**Long Time no see...my bad.**

**Yeah I wanted to upload this chapter so badly last weekend when I finished it, but it was raw and had millions of errors and my beta reader was busy sooo, I didn't.**

**Well at least I released it in June like I said I would and it needed to be done I mean it's been 6 God damn weeks! I felt terrible.**

**I did release a Eremika one shot called _'Breaking for You'_ on my profile which I did to pass the time which is good according to reviews. Does hit you in the feels so be warned if you read it! It would be great if you did as It'a my first whack at it.**

**Anyway here's chapter 12 and I really do apolgise for the wait!**

**Enjoy!**

**Beta Read by Kubiyo who I am in debt to for it! ^.^**

**DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. ITS ALL ONE BIG, GORY, CUTE , MESSED UP , SHOCKING FANFICTION.**

* * *

><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

My palms are sweating and my body aches as I glide through the air, constantly slicing my blades at the remaining titan's arms, ankles and necks.

My mind spins with me as everything seems to blur into one gory mess. Yet, I don't stop.

The second titan slams into the ground as I freefall with it, slightly losing my footing as I land, causing me to stop myself with my hands.

A sudden sharp pain rockets up my fingers when they crumple onto the floor with a little too much force. Gritting my teeth, I can only hope I didn't break any of them on that landing but that might be too much to ask for at this moment. I scrunch my fingers into a fist, ignoring the blood that trickles down my middle finger; I can deal with that later.

Loud thumps echo from behind me, shaking the ground and I push myself up, grabbing my blades as I run towards the sound.

Dust obscures the area, making it hard to breathe or see and I can feel my breath quicken from a mixture of adrenaline and anticipation. My eyes dart around, waiting for the first move.

I really want to use my gas right now, but I know I shouldn't. I can't guarantee I'll have enough until the next supply store. I could take a risk but what would it cost me?

I keep the thought in the back of my mind; I can already feel my fingers itching to use the gas release.

The dust cloud is still thick as I begin to tread carefully around the square blind; choking on the air that makes my eyes water. I bring my scarf up around my mouth trying my best to block it out.

I wonder how big this dust cloud is. I don't think it would be a good idea to stray too far from Eren.

For a second, I swear the dust in the area around me is quietly settling and I dart my head behind me to check. It is. Is that a good or a bad thing?

I look up towards the sky to see if anything has cleared up there, but instead of a clear blue sky above me, a titans head looms down at me like I'm some sort of insect that needs to be dealt with. It sees me before I see it, and everything happens too quickly and without me being prepared.

I try to jump out of the way of its fists slamming down but I'm caught off guard, making me go sprawling sideways across the dirt.

My fingers slightly press on the gas and I have to stop myself. I have to be running on fumes by now. I roll over onto my back, telling myself I don't need too use it now.

_Come on Mikasa, you can take down one titan without gas. Things have been worse than this, what was I thinking?_

For a second I forget what I'm doing as I think and I almost don't see the titan taking another swing at me. Almost.

Its hand comes down and I manage to roll out of the way, pulling out a new pair of blades in one swift motion. I catch the titan's hands and its fingers cleanly fall to the floor.

I glance up at its face; it almost looks amazed at its hand that's now missing all five of its fingers. I can't help but wonder if it even feels certain types of pain.

At times like this, I'm thankful that titans aren't intelligent. This titan looks like its almost in some kind of dream state.

Sensing it's not paying attention, I jump up, seeing my moment to strike. Before the titan can even register I've moved, I'm already hurtling towards the neck area, blades raised above my head. It sees me in the corner of its eye but it's already too late. I let out a cry as my blades pierce the titan's neck.

Inches away from the kill, that's when it happens.

I have to scrunch up my vision at the light that strikes the ground from the sky and I know all too well why. My eyes widen in horror at the familiar roar that makes the air itself shake.

Oh no… Why, Eren? I asked you to listen. I asked you to wait for me. Why wouldn't you listen to me!

Part of me feels hurt, but mostly I feel fear, fear for Eren, fear for us, and fear for what he has just done.

* * *

><p>The sky finally stops blinding everything but my moment's distraction has left me vulnerable. One of my blades has cut the titan's neck but the other missed by millimetres. The titan roars in pain as it flings its arms about, trying its best to wipe me away. I keep my grasp on the blade implanted into the flesh as I desperately try not to fall to my death; I feel my hands begin to slip from blood oozing from the neck. I grunt in anger as my arms begin to give out on me.<p>

The titan continues to swat at me and that's all I need to finally lose my grip. My hands slip from the blade and I begin falling about fifteen metres down the ground below. I want to apologize to Eren for leaving him but some part of me resents that he's the one who caused this to happen. That he's the one who caused me to die. Am I actually sorry?

* * *

><p>(Eren's POV)<p>

What's happening to me? Why is everything so dark? I can't see, hear nor feel anything. Where am I? Why can't I do anything? Why am I not a titan? Am I dreaming? Can I just not see what I'm doing?

So many questions but no answers.

Maybe I wasn't turning into a titan. Maybe it was something far worse. Maybe that's what it felt like to die. Am I in hell? If I'm dead, I probably deserve it anyway. I killed so many. Why didn't I die sooner?

Why am I asking questions? I don't even have the answers. I can't-

My head hurts. I can feel my head. I can feel my legs but they feel so heavy, as if I'm dragging rocks behind me.

I can move but I don't know where I'm going. Everything feels sore.

Mikasa? I smell lavender. That must be her. Did I leave her? Did I leave her to die?

I'm so angry. Shouldn't I be sad? I only feel anger. It's hot inside my body; it burns through my veins like boiling oil.

I don't want to be here! I want to run! I want to see! I want to fight! I want to kill! I want to kill all the titans! I want to save her! I want to save her from the titans!

Why am I here? I can almost imagine her falling into a titan's mouth because I'm not there! I can't help her! I feel so heavy.

She's falling in my mind. Falling so far. She's so close to death's reach. I can't-

I won't-

I need-

I'm dragging my body to catch her but everything is so slow. It's so far, I can't make it. My legs are on fire.

She's still falling. I'm so close. I'm so far.

Why do I lie to myself? I lie to myself too much. I lie to Mikasa. I said I would fight with her. That we would get out.

I lied to her. I'm killing her. Mikasa, Forgive me…

* * *

><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

I fall for what seems like years. The buildings around me and the titan watching me descend all fly past me in something like slow motion.

Suddenly, it stops and the world freezes or, should I say, stops falling with me. I look down expecting to see the hard ground where I lie, broken and still, but that's not what I see. A titan's palm cups me; I lie motionless, gasping for air, realising I haven't taken a breath for awhile.

Why am I not dead? Why has a titan caught me? If there's more that means more fighting. This titan was stupid enough to save me.

I jump up, holding my blade in a tight grip, ready to strike my capturer. My heart races with adrenaline as run up its arm, my own arms up ready to swing. Moments away from reaching the titan's shoulder I stop immediately, my boots slipping slightly on its arm.

A pair of emerald green eyes meet mine with a mixture of pain and anger.

Eren.

Why didn't I see it? I could have killed him.

I continue to stare, but he's the first to look away. He looks up at the other titan, suddenly with a look of confusion.

I have to cover my ears as he lets out a roar and I know immediately that the battle is about to begin. I run my way onto Eren's shoulder and hide myself behind his ear, keeping my blade tightly in my grasp. I'm not sure if this is the best plan I have but I can't get down from here without breaking a bone or two.

Eren roars again and this time I don't cover my ears. I stand on his shoulder and yell with him, I don't even know why I do. Maybe it's because I'm happy or maybe it's because I want to tell him we're in this together even though he can't hear me.

I almost smile when I swear I see Eren look over to me for a second, but I can't be sure. All I can see before me is the titan and Eren in his fighting stance. I grab onto Eren's hair tightly as he swings the first punch. The 15 metre titan goes reeling back from the force of the swing and so do I.

My grasp around my blade tightens. I don't have time to gain my footing again, since I'm already falling back down Eren's shoulder as he gives the titan a kick. Its face becomes a bloody mess, but it still moves.

I dangle from Eren's hair with one hand. I try to get back my footing but I slip. Groaning, I pull myself up, but my hands are too sweaty and I only end up slipping more. I look down at the ground 15 metres below. I don't exactly fancy taking another fall to my death today.

Eren throws another punch and his body vibrates with force as he jumps forward. I fall down again, now with less than fifteen centimeters of hair left to grab onto.

I glance at the ground again and then back at Eren, who has his full attention on the fight.

I don't think he even remembers I'm here. If I shout for him to help me, will he even hear me? If he does, I might just end up getting him distracted from the other titan.

I let out a ragged sigh, looking down to my feet, which are dangling below. My eyes fall on my gas can and a thought enters my mind. I could always soften the blow with my gas and land that way, but then again, how much do I have left?

Eren roars again, making his body vibrate; I grit my teeth together as I hang on for dear life. My arms are starting to give in. Hurry up, Eren!

The wind begins to pick up and I only just notice that the sun's setting again.

How long have I been here? I look across the landscape, trying to see which way I came from, but my eyes catch a group of dark shadows approaching from the west. I squint and try to focus on the silhouettes. It could just be the hills, but is it me or are the shadows moving?

A pang of horror ripples across my body as the vision clears, revealing something I know I'm not imagining.

I snap my head back to Eren as I pull at his hair as hard as I can. "Eren! You have to listen! Eren, please! We need to go! You've gained too much attention!"

My eyes dart between the fast approaching shadows and Eren. He can't hear me. "Eren, you have to snap out of it!" I hear the anger in my voice but it does nothing to wake him.

He doesn't realise that there's more titans coming, far more than I can count. If we don't leave this area now, Eren will be overpowered and trampled. I told him not to make noise, to stay quiet. Now he's going to have to deal with the consequences.

* * *

><p>There must be more than 30 titans approaching. There's no way Eren and I can hold them all off, even with Eren being in his titan form. If he can't hear me, we're stuck. He doesn't know what's coming.<p>

Levi warned me this might happen. I never wanted to do as he told me but Eren's given me no other choice. He can thank me later.

I give up on trying to pull myself up, there's no use. My arms won't do anything with Eren constantly moving. My hands let go of his hair and I fall to the ground, however, this time I'm able to save myself.

I let off the gas as I reach the floor; giving me a soft landing. Worried, I tap my gas can. I wasn't joking when I said it was nearly gone.

The ground shakes where I stand and I forget about my gas supply. All I can think about is the charging herd of titans that are approaching the village; their bodies pushing each other out of the way, a complete frenzy.

My eyes widen. "Eren!" I scream, running up to his ankles. Still no reaction. I shut my eyes, trying not to lose my cool as I think ahead.

There's no other way to make him respond is there? It has to be done.

I look up at Eren again, just in time to see the titan he was fighting finally fall to the ground. It's a gory mess.

"Eren!" I call again, but all he does is look blankly at the decaying titan body at his feet. Only now realizing he really can't hear me, I pull out another blade, getting ready for what he's made me do.

I run up to Eren's ankles and with one slash to the back, he begins to fall down, roaring in pain as he's helpless to stop me. He hits the ground and spins his head to see his attacker, but stops moving when he sees it's me.

I begin to run up his back with my blades down by my sides. I stare straight ahead, not bearing to look into Eren's eyes. He probably thinks I'm going crazy.

I'm nearing his neck when all at once everything seems to happen.

Eren begins to stand up and I jump to grab onto his hair, which I just about manage. He swings for me, just barely missing, and dust begins to surround the area again.

I look behind me, at the swarm of titans that surround us. I hear bones crack and steam eject from titan forms but I can't see if they are Eren's or the others.

I sharply breathe in through my nose in rage as I curse myself for taking too long. How am I going to get us out of this? He just tried to attack me again, I might not even be safe around him.

Dust begins to make me choke again and I don't even have time to put my scarf over my mouth. It's now or never.

I look down below my knees at the nape of Eren's neck where I know he lies.

"I'm sorry," I whisper before plunging my blades into Eren's flesh and tearing the top away.

* * *

><p>Eren's titan screams fill the air and they make me sick. It's like the sound of a dying animal and I can only hope that it really isn't.<p>

I block out the screams the best I can and begin to cut away loose bits of flesh around the neck area, where Eren lies face down into the deep flesh.

"Eren!" I shout, but he still doesn't hear me. I wouldn't be surprised if he's blacked out from the pain. I clipped him in the side with my, blade which wasn't planned.

I continue to cut at the flesh, but it's so thick my blades already begin to blunt at a few hacks. The area around him is almost like solid muscle. How am I going to do this?

Titans grunt and groan from below and because of all the noise, I don't even realize the titan which Eren controls has stopped moving. I don't even notice when the whole thing collapses until it falls to the ground. I let out a strangled cry when I do notice, together with the titans spotting both me and Eren.

One titan reaches out towards us and it's only my reflex actions that protect us. More titans begin pushing around us, grabbing and pulsing and I continue to fend them off but they just keep coming back.

Blood splatters on my face, the steam burning my skin, but I don't stop. I let my body take over my mind. That's how I survive. That's how I always survive.

My blades are becoming more useless the more I'm attacked and my body aches and finally, at my most desperate state of survival, my thoughts have no say in what happens next.

I can only watch, not afraid of anything as I turn my back to the titans, knowing they could end me at any moment.

Facing Eren with sweat dripping down my face and my body buzzing with energy, I take out my blades and yell like an animal as I free Eren in one massive slash, not even caring when I take off all of his limbs in the process. I grab him from the fleshy tomb and give no signs of emotion as he cries in agony at what I've just done. Everything around me just blurs together like a dream as I carry Eren, screaming on my shoulders, through the titans. I let human instincts drive me forward, forgetting any of my emotions. My blood roars in my ears as I blank out. The only thing I feel is a little whisper in the back of my head which even I refuse to think about.

What you just did, Mikasa, is what you call animal instinct. What kind human would do that? What human would do that and not feel anything?

On and on it goes, repeating and echoing in my head, and I don't even care what its saying. It's only until later when we're back at the horses to safety, I realize I'm crying.

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><p>(Levi's POV)<p>

I'm tired, coming all the way out here in the middle of the night, just because I was being too nice to a couple of shitty kids. I haven't eaten in more than a day. My night could be going a lot of better than this.

My god, if I ever see Jaeger or his sour faced sister again it will be too soon. Maybe them both getting eaten out there wouldn't be so bad after all. Then again, what's the chance of that happening with Ackerman sticking to Eren like a lost puppy?

I don't think I even want to think about it at this moment. I don't want to think about anything right now, the fact I have to see my pathetic excuse of a squad in a couple of hours makes me feel sick enough as it is.

I grit my teeth together, trying to not think about anything.

My horse gallops under the overcast sky and I can only hope it can see where it's going better than I can. Trust me, to have to go out on the worst night possible where I can't see a damn thing isn't exactly a dream situation.

I bounce up and down in the dark as my horse suddenly starts to pick up its pace, its breath ragged. Probably scared of the dark, knowing my luck today. Deciding to ignore what's happening to it, I focus my attention on the road, or field, before me. I gaze over the landscape around me, looking for any signs of light from a town or hamlet. Nothing.

I let out a bored sigh as everything just feels too dull.

The world seems to get darker and I don't even start to notice my eyes falling shut.

I can't remember the last time I slept. 3 days ago, maybe. Goddamn Hanji with her stupid ideas keeping me up. Maybe I'll take my annoyance out on her when I get back. I don't even know where she went after I dropped Eren off. Probably asleep on her desk by now.

My eyes begin to feel heavy again. I shake my head. I need to find an inn or something. I can't end up falling asleep on my horse. This thing will probably end up getting me killed. I run my fingers through my hair and look around the area again. My heart lifts a little when I see a hazy light ahead of me.

Thank god.

Breathing a little lighter, I slow my horse down, heading towards the light. The promise of sleep pushes me on.

I look down at my horse, which still seems a little on edge, and notice its ears twitching and suddenly jerking its head up.

"Hey, watch what you're doing," I say plainly, but it doesn't stop. I pull at the reins, but then altogether, the beast stops moving.

"Why would you stop now, of all times?" I point at the light, "You can stop there, not here." The horse looks startled by me pointing.

"Don't wet yourself now-" I start, but my voice catches as I look up to where the horse is looking, at the light. It's a lot closer than it should be, and it's moving. Fast.

I pull on the reins a little. Who the hell would be out at this fucking time?

The light approaches through the trees ahead and then I realize the light is someone on a horse, someone who looks like they want to be somewhere soon.

I study the scene, thinking of what to do. I don't particularly want to be seen, but I have the authority to be riding this late. Some part of me thinks this person doesn't. Well, then they're just asking for trouble, aren't they? My mood couldn't get any better.

I wait for the figure to break through the trees ahead of me. Just before they arrive, something in the background changes, and more lights appear. Not just one or two, either. Dozens.

Something's not right, why so many, why here, why where I am?

Before I can think of an answer and even think of a plan, the first light breaks through the trees to me and it's not what or who I was expecting to encounter.

Armin.

* * *

><p>First things first, he looks like shit. He's also sweating, a lot. Note to myself not to touch him.<p>

I think the most worrying thing is, he looks kind of glad to see me.

Well, I can't wait for this.

"Captain!" he exclaims riding up to me.

"Arlert, care to explain?" I say blankly.

"Sir, we need to go now! They're gone! We're going to end up like them! You'll be killed if he finds you! They're looking for you. And Mikasa and Eren! Did you get them out?" He shouts, making absolutely no sense.

"You're not making any sense-"

"No, forget it! He's after us! The king wants Eren, and if he finds you or Mikasa, you're both dead. I barely made it out; everyone else has been taken to wall Sina. It's too late for them. We have to go somewhere else now!"

I look at him,rather confused. How did the king find out I took Eren and Mikasa? If it's Reiner again.. You know what, forget that. I want to know who the fuck Arlert's on about. "A name?"

Armin looks behind him in panic, "Jean said it was Dressler before they took him, I think. I don't remember exactly; it happened too fast."

I tighten my fists around the horse's reins. I knew that Dressler was a fucking bastard. Him and his greasy hair. I close my eyes, but Arlert starts screaming again and I have to open them.

"We need to go, they're here!" he screams, still anxiously looking behind him.

I look at the lights in the distance, quickly approaching. He's right, if they really are chasing us I don't think it's for a tea party.

I turn back to Arlert, that's when the first gunshot echoes.

_BANG_

"Let's go," I say, raising my voice above the gunshots.

I slap my reins and my horse gladly agrees to go as we ride back towards the wall, to the tunnel.

_BANG_

A bullet flies past my ear, but I don't flinch. Arlert looks terrified. Did anyone else make it out?

"Hey, did anyone else get out?" I shout to him, trying to speak over the sound of gunshots and gallopping hooves.

He looks at me solemnly and shakes his head. I find it hard to believe.

"Hanji? Erwin?"

He looks into my eyes and then down at his hands, which have started shaking.

"H-Hanji was taken first, a-and Erwin…" He looks down at his hands again.

"Spit it out. I need to know, brat! What happened to Erwin?" I demand, louder than I intended.

Armin snaps his head in my direction, his eyes looking straight at me. All they contain is worry and terror.

He closes his eyes and opens his mouth to shout.

"Erwin's-,"

_BANG_

Armin doesn't get to finish his sentence. Instead, he clutches a gunshot wound in his side. Dark, crimson blood already seeps through his white shirt and onto his hands.

I stare, eyes wide, as he looks at me with not terror, but now sadness.

Next thing I know, he's on the ground off his horse. He lies still on the ground behind me.

"Dammit!" I curse, pulling on my reins to stop. I jump off my own horse and run over to Armin. He's covered in his own blood. Bullet must have caught an artery somewhere.

"Come on! You're not dying now!" I say, hauling him back onto his horse. He slumps against me but I push him up. His head comes over to my ear.

He whispers something but I don't catch it.

_BANG_

Another bullet whizzes past me.

"What!?" I shout, slapping him awake.

Armin's eyes begin to close.

"Erwin's-,"

I look at him confused. I push him up onto his horse and lean against his ear.

"Erwin's what?" I yell.

He looks over at me, his eyes almost shut, blood pouring from his wound, cold sweat dripping from his head, but somehow he finds the will to say it before he blanks out.

My eyes fly open when I hear it. I don't believe him. Armin's wrong.

I look at the floor in disbelief and then back to Armin to make sure I heard it right but he's already unconscious against his horse's neck.

If he was telling me the truth, then something big is happening here, much bigger than I imagined.

_BANG_

The bullet hits my ear and everything starts to ring. I press my hand against it, but it doesn't stop. I breathe through my teeth in pain and glance over at Armin again. He's dying and was being shot at. Why am I just sat here?

I shake my head and snap my reins, sending both the horses to life. We set off towards the wall again.

Blackness follows as the light and gunshots fade as we ride.

I sit, staring into the dark, thinking about everything that just happened, and why it just happened.

In the back of my mind, Armin's words replay over and over, driving me crazy.

'Erwin's dead.'

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><p><strong>I'm Sorry! Don't hate me Erwin and Armin fans! I have good reasons I swear.<strong>

**Okay so if I don't get murdered by one of you guys for that I'll be back with Chapter 13 (Unlucky for some) soon!**

**Don't forget to check out my Oneshot if you're interested and leave a review of this chapter if you have to time as I love reading them!**

**My tumblr is on my profile if you want to contact me that way.**

**Until next time!**


	13. Chapter 13 - The Guilt of Now

**Hello again!**

**Sorry for the few days delay! Had to let my beta reader read over the chapter and then when I was going to publish it I got sent to hospital for awhile! What a great start!**

**Anyway I'm in recovery from some virus so lying in bed doing nothing gave me the perfect opportunity to publish a new chapter. **

**Like I said sorry for the wait and I hope you like the (kinda awkward) chapter! Sorry not a lot happens but like I said in my update trying to get back into writing more often.**

**Also thank you to everyone who helped me achieve 13,000 reads on this story which is insane! Given me an extra boost of purpose that's for sure!**

**So thank you guys and see you soon hopefully when I'm not sneezing my brains out...**

**Enjoy!**

**:)**

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><p><strong>- Beta read by Kubiyo! - Sadly this is her last chapter she will be beta reading because she is under the weight of basically life so a nice thank you to Kubiyo for helping me out for the last few months! I will just have to spend more time myself grammar checking my story because normally i'm just so lazy!<strong>

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><p>(Mikasa's POV)<p>

How do know when you're losing your humanity? Well, I guess you don't until it's gone.

Those types of thoughts are the type that refuse to let you sleep. They drive into your brain and make you want to scream in frustration.

I focus on Eren sleeping opposite of me, his face drenched in sweat. Seeing him sleeping is strange. His face is usually always serious or screwed up; he looks peaceful, like he was when he was a kid.

I feel my own expression soften, matching his; I try to maintain it by ignoring the stumps where his hands should be. My fault again.

It didn't occur to me when I sliced them off and to be honest, I don't think anything occurred to me during those few seconds. It's like I wasn't in control of my mind. Is that sort of thing called instinct?

My hands fly up to my head as more pressing thoughts force themselves into my brain. I screw my eyes up (?) to think of something else despite the fact I know it's no use.

Lying down trying to fall asleep, my fingers rub at the dried tears on my cheeks. Disgusting.

I scrub at them roughly until my fingertips are raw refusing to accept they are my tears.

Fear, I have realised, can unhinge me more easily than I care to admit.

I cried to myself for hours after while riding wherever was away from that village. Maybe I felt like the further we put that place behind us, the less guilty and scared of myself I would feel. I'm stupid to not realize you can't escape yourself.

The only thing that kept me together was Eren bleeding himself to death all over my back. Of course I knew he wouldn't die, but it still concerned me. I was thankful he was unconscious and didn't have to feel it, or see me cry about it.

When I finally managed to pull myself out of the emotional state I was in, I just felt anger. Crying and not taking control of the situation is something I haven't done in years. I certainly can't remember the last time I cried to myself. I didn't think I could. Guess I'm learning a lot more since leaving the walls.

For instance, I learned about 3 hours ago that I had completely forgotten about the map I left in the woods, even though I was looking at it hours before. Eren's pack had a spare which saved us both wandering around for another 2 hours looking for the supply house. Even finding that with the map wouldn't go smoothly. We would waste more time looking through various houses. I wasn't expecting to find a sign saying, "SURVEY CORPS SECRET BASE HERE," but a little clue could have helped. It Turned out the supply house was an old farm cottage with a solid stone basement on the outskirts of a smaller village.

The door on the farmhouse wasn't sturdy so I had to push some old boards up against it to stop the wind from blowing it open. After that it was just a matter of leaving the horses up top in the overgrown kitchen of the building while I dragged Eren down into the basement below. It's an odd thing to say but he was actually heavier than he looked (minus half his limbs, but it's not like I couldn't carry him.) I wondered if he would be able to lift me.

My eyes fly open to the sound of groans across the basement, making me shoot up, I'm sure I didn't fall asleep.

I move over to Eren, checking his hands, which have almost grown back.

We don't know much about Titan shifters, but out of the information we have we do know this is definitely one of the things that confused me. It's almost like they aren't human. But of course Eren is human. I mean, what else could he be? It's just a mystery for now.

I remember when we were cornered with Armin back when the Military Police didn't trust us (they still don't, obviously) and he was asked if he was human. I didn't take any notice. People overreact too much.

Eren stirs across the room. A deep breath escapes from him.

I bend down over him to check if he's okay; my nose inches over his, his eyes still closed.

He breathes heavily again. "Mikasa?"

I snap up quickly, away from his face, startled by his voice. I feel my cheeks go hot from embarrassment. I wouldn't know how to explain my closeness just then; I certainly wasn't trying anything, that's for sure. It's just weird to see him so quiet.

I glance down to see Eren's eyes snapping open. Confusion flashes across his face as he looks at me.

"Where are we?" he asks, unmoving. His eyes flutter from grogginess.

Relaxing a little, I exhale deeply. "One of the Survey Corps supply stores I found. We were lucky, your condition isn't good," I fail to mention in what way his condition is bad but I'm sure he can tell his hands are missing.

Eren makes some kind of noise that sounds like a 'yes' so I decide not to push him with questions. It would be nice to talk to him and keep my mind off my own thoughts. The silence makes me uneasy.

I stand, brushing myself down while Eren continues to emptily stare at the ceiling. He's completely out of it.

Trying to decide how to make myself useful until Eren comes to his senses, I ignite the gas lights on the walls, making things a little warmer. The room transforms from a dull grey to a sickly orange. Not a relaxing environment, but still better than darkness.

The basement is actually larger than I first realized. Boxes pile up taller than me on the furthest wall, some filled with food, others filled with military gear. I route(?) round in a few for anything useful but quickly find it's nothing what we haven't got already. Of course I should stock up on food before we leave but I'm not in any mood to eat at the moment. Eren, on the other hand, I will force to eat. Stubborn as he can be.

"What happened to my hands?" I spin round to see Eren sitting up, examining his stumpy fingers. They really have healed quickly. I see his eyes go wide.

"I did it to save you. We were surrounded and you didn't listen to me when you needed to get out of your titan," I say, "I did what I needed to do and there's nothing more."

Eren sighs, "What aren't you telling me? I can always tell when you're lying, Mikasa. You're like an open book to me."

My hand clenches around a can of peaches I'm holding. "Why would I lie?" I ask blankly.

The room goes silent as he studies my face looking for any kind of evidence. I'm determined not to let him find any by letting my face go still.

He averts his eyes to the floor, giving in, I suppose. He'll forget about it later, sure enough.

I sit down next to his makeshift bed, drawing my knees to my chin while staring at the gas lamp opposite to us.

Eren shifts beside me. I see him glance at me from the corner of my eye. He's still annoyed I'm here, I can tell. I wish he would just be happy with me for once.

"Got any food?" he asks, stretching out his arms.

"Yes. There's cans in the boxes. I'll get you some," I answer, standing up again, thinking of the peaches I had earlier.

Eren pushes himself up stumbling up the wall, "I can get it myself, Mikasa," he objects.

I walk over to him, putting his arm around my neck for balance. He's too stubborn, though. Shaking me off and standing up straight, wobbling. He can barely stand and he wants to dig through those boxes?

"Eren! You can't even stand up straight!"

Eren's eyes meet mine, rage flickering across his face. "I'm fine!" he shouts.

I open my mouth to object again, but he pushes me out the way and shuffles towards the nearest box. He collapses just as he reaches it.

My hands are already on him before he touches the floor.

"Stop acting like a child and listen to me! Let me take care of you this one time! Why can't you admit you need my help?"

"But I don't-" he starts, but I cover up the sounds of his words by rattling in the box for food. I pick out a can of beans and rice and I walk back over to Eren.

He grits his teeth when I shove the can into his chest. "Eat," I order.

He stares at me aggressively. I don't know what he's expecting. "You can be a real jerk, Mikasa," he says, taking the can properly from my hands.

I step back, slightly hurt by his words. He walks away, refusing to look at me as he sits down and eats. He didn't even thank for me for the damn food. Could I be stuck with anyone more of a child than Eren?

He's always been stubborn… but he's also always cared about me. I just have to forget the negative.

Sighing, I turn and sit down in my original position, opposite to Eren. I watch as he struggles to eat his food with a spoon. Eating with no fingers proves to be difficult, I guess.

He glances up at me and I quickly dart my eyes to the floor. I can't look at him when he's angry with me.

The sounds of him eating resume. I pull my knees up against my chest, trying to think about something that isn't us fighting. The events of what happened at the other village come to mind.

Anything but that. My god, I want to be sick.

"What happened during that time I didn't respond as a titan?" Eren's voice snaps me back to my senses and I look up.

I bite my lip. He never normally presses me more on stuff like this. "I cut you out," I say.

"No, I mean, what happened to you? You're acting… like a frightened toddler."

I straighten up. "I'm the one acting like a child?" I ask flatly.

"Oh what-" He stops himself from talking.

His eyes flash with anger but his face doesn't show it. He's doing the thing where he tries to act mature around me again. I can tell he just desperately wants to scream. He sighs and continues.

"Okay, I'm sorry for before. Yes, I wasn't acting like I should. Sorry. I didn't mean it."

My eyes widen with shock. Did he just apologize?

Eren reads my expression and a grin appears across his face. "You look odd when you're not serious," he jokes.

My heart lifts a little at his smile. I love it when he smiles.

…

Why did I think that? He just insulted me and I'm thinking about his ridiculously stupid smile?

I feel my cheeks go warm and bury my face in my knees to hide the fact that I'm blushing.

I don't blush. Why should I?

Eren clears his throat. He was expecting me to argue with him about the insult. Now I've just made everything uneasy.

"We live in a world where there's not much to be happy about. Being serious hides what you feel," my voice is blunt.

Silence fills the room and I begin to think he's dropped the conversation. It feels awkward.

"I know." His voice is so quiet I can barely hear it.

I lift my head up to face him. He's staring directly at me with an expression I can't place. Not upset, not happy, but something else. It's odd.

I've known Eren for years. His face is familiar to me, his body is familiar to me, but the way he's looking at me now, it's completely unknown. It scares me that I don't know what he's thinking.

How odd that we can go from strangers to never being apart and now to whatever our relationship is now all in one lifetime.

"What are we doing?" he asks me out of the blue.

"I don't understand what you mean? Sitting in a basem-"

Eren interrupts me. "No. I mean what are we doing with our lives? Are we just going to run somewhere and hope for the best?"

My mouth goes dry. His stare is like he's desperately trying to read me. "I don't know."

Eren looks down and I think he smiles. "Of course you don't," he grins, like he's laughing at a joke I'm not part of.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, confused.

Eren's head snaps up all of a sudden, like he's regretting his words from the last 5 minutes. "It doesn't matter," he says harshly.

I furrow my eyebrows. "I think you should sleep," I say, changing the subject. "You're not yourself."

"Neither are you, Mikasa. Is anyone these days, really?" he replies.

Rubbing my eyes, I make up an excuse. "I'm just tired."

Eren jerks forward, "Then why the hell are you telling me to sleep? I'm not even tired!"

I stand up getting some water. "I'm not going to sleep until you have. I have to keep an eye on you since you're injured."

"That's a stupid thing to say!" he argues.

I walk over to Eren, offering him a bottle. I even unscrew the lid for him.

He knocks it away in disgust, "I don't need you to do that! Shit, I can definitely get the top off a bottle myself as well!"

"You're thirsty," I say calmly.

"You're not my mother."

I widen my eyes at him. He does the same. He regrets what he just said, probably. That word hurts the both of us.

The bottle of water is suddenly snatched from my hands as Eren takes the whole thing and drinks all of it in a single breath. "Thanks."

I nod. "Okay."

I don't think he meant that thanks.

* * *

><p>The next few hours go by with both of us refusing to sleep. We dont talk much, it's like we're total strangers to eachother. We talk about what we should do next or how things are probably going inside the walls.<p>

Eren worries about Armin a lot, but I tell him he's most likely better off than we are.

Most of our time here, however, is us, sat in an uneasy silence with both of us only getting up to check equipment or eat. Eren's fingers have mostly grown back, which means we should be able to move out by morning, but he still refuses to let me take a look at his hands.

I think I find that being alone with my thoughts is the worst thing, though. Being alone with Eren and not talking is bad enough, but that plus the question of my humanity is far worse.

I wonder if a normal 15-year-old worries about that kind of stuff. What if there's another emotionless girl with no remorse sitting in a basement like this. Tough luck.

In the end, it's me who gives in. Well, my mind gives in to my body as it complains about exhaustion more than worry or anything else. Running for 42 hours can have its after effects, even on me.

I don't tell Eren I'm sleeping; I don't want to admit I'm tired. Instead, I just lie down with my back facing him, my hands being used as my pillow.

"There're probably blankets in the supplies," Eren calls out behind me.

I close my eyes, "I'm not sleeping."

I hear Eren fight back a laugh. "You shouldn't lie to me, Mikasa."

My body stiffens up; I don't think he was just talking about me sleeping.

"Go to sleep, Eren," I say bluntly.

"Not until you do."

I bite my lip. He's not going to let me win.

My head begins to cloud over just as he gets up. I don't register his movements at first, not until I hear him behind me.

I'm about to bark for him to sit down but I stop myself as he drops a blanket over me rather ungracefully. "Here."

My eyes fly open but I don't move. I don't hear him move either.

"You should take care of yourself better. Stop being so paranoid about things that aren't your problem," he says.

I know immediately that with 'things', he's referring to himself.

"You should stop being such a problem for me then," I say under the blanket. It covers my head so I can't see him but I don't need to see to know his eyes are burning into the back of my head.

"You shouldn't follow me tomorrow, it'd be better for you," he sighs. I ignore him.

It feels like hours before he moves away. We have never had this much tension between us and it scares me.

The covers of his own bedding rustle from behind and I hear him blow out the lamps, plunging the room into darkness. I guess we both finally gave up.

I sigh into my hands as I finally accept I want to sleep. The silence begins to pull me under.

"Goodnight, Mikasa," Eren whispers.

"Goodnight, Eren," I echo.

My heartbeat hitches as those words rattle in my brain. It sounded more like a goodbye than a goodnight.

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><p><strong>Not much to say about this chapter other than I wish more happened myself but what can I do when i'm a tad rusty on the old writing.<strong>

**I hope you guys enjoyed it and please give me feedback of maybe what you liked or what you want to see more of. Always appreciated!**

**I'll try and update within a few weeks when I'm hopefully fully recovered but until then,**

**Byeeee! **


	14. Chapter 14 - The Dangers Of Others

**It's pretty late where I am now so I'll make this short and sweet. **

**Thank you for the 18,000 reads on this story guys too! Never imagined it would do this well.**

**Here's Chapter 14 sorry for the VERY long wait.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

(Eren's POV)

Dawn's presence is already creeping through the basement hatch when I wake up. My fingers throb slightly from the growth they have been doing overnight but other than that you wouldn't think I would have lost some limbs yesterday. Not many people can say they can grow back an arm after all.

I sit up and stretch making my joints crack. Relaxing, I gaze around the room getting a full look at our little dwelling. Not much to look at besides a few boxes but it kept us safe at least.

I breathe the musky air in trying to wake myself up, we should probably get moving.

Kicking back the blankets of my makeshift bed, I glance over a Mikasa. She's still sound asleep.

I've always noticed when she's asleep, even as kids, how peaceful she looks. During the day she always tries to look mature and brave but when she's like this, she looks like she should. Like a young girl. Radiant and innocent.

I avert my eyes from her face thinking about something else. I'm not in the mood to think about Mikasa. Her argument with me last night is like a bad taste in my mouth.

Standing up wobbling slightly, I find myself some peach preserve and honey in the supply boxes. With the last of the slightly stale bread, I manage to make breakfast for the pair of us. I set some bread and honey down beside Mikasa, careful not to wake her. I remember my father bringing back some honey from the inner wall once. I think it was her who ate most of it; she's always had a sweet tooth.

I smile to myself before remembering the horses need feeding.

Grabbing some horse feed from the back of basement and wolfing down my breakfast at the same time, I wonder over to the wooden hatch to the house above. I check back at Mikasa who is still sleeping before climbing up the steps to where the horses are. It would be a shame to wake her now; after all it will probably be a long time till she sleeps properly again.

After feeding the horses I settle myself down on what looks like it once was a wooden chest. Now it's more like a pile of planks and shrapnel pilled up in the corner of the house.

Until sitting down, I didn't realise how cold the air was. The old cottage isn't exactly open to the rest of the world but it defiantly isn't wind proof, I fell the icy chills go down my neck every now and then.

I fold my arms across my chest wishing I brought my jacket up but I don't feel like going down there and probably waking Mikasa up. You would think anyway that the survey corps could design a warmer shirt or something than the piece of white cloth we have now.

Ignoring the cold I look out the nearest window at the slowly rising sun. Large moving shapes on the horizon signal that it's not just me starting my day at this time. I narrow my eyes trying to figure out how many titans there are in the distance but the basement hatch door swings open distracting me.

Mikasa appears nibbling the piece of bread and honey I left for her, her eyes staring past me to what I was looking at before.

"About half a dozen," she says meaning the titans.

It's like she was reading my mind.

"Yeah," I agree, "I think we can sneak past them though. You still think we should head towards the next supply area today?"

"It is the only option we have," she says coolly, taking another bite out of the bread.

It seems Mikasa has forgotten the fight we had yesterday or she might just be ignoring it ever happened. Probably the second option.

She finishes her breakfast off and we both prepare the gear and horses to leave. Mikasa looks at the map and makes markers on which direction we should go.

The plan seems to consist of finding the nearest supply stronghold to the wall gate, making it easy for Levi to pick us up on the next survey expedition in roughly one week. Or that's the idea anyway.

By the time we are actually ready to leave our safe spot, the sun is already fully in the sky. I pull the makeshift wooden boards back that we placed last night from the door and Mikasa leads the horses out.

She stops just outside the doorway onto the overgrown street of the village, keeping one eye on me. Probably making sure I don't run off on her or some crazy idea. At least it's good to know she's still got my back despite the shit I said last night. I mean I don't regret some of it but there are some soft spots I know went too far.

I hop onto my horse next to her and she gives me a concerning look.

"You okay?" she asks in the mothering tone I know too well.

I sigh, "As okay as can be."

She nods and we ride.

* * *

><p>It must be about late afternoon when we finally get close to where we are heading.<p>

At midday we stopped off at closure of trees to eat and rest the horses and Mikasa took down a lone 4 metre who spotted us. Other than that we have had a usually quiet day.

We haven't talked much. Mikasa has been concentrating on the path and I have been on lookout, it was a comfortable silence mostly, ignoring the abrupt stop we made to argue about the map.

"It's should be just up ahead, down past those buildings," Mikasa says pointing up at a few houses ahead. Looks like some kind of Hamlet.

"What kind of building is it? Another house?" I ask.

She looks at me and then back at the map, her face serious while she studies it.

"A Church."

I screw my face up in confusion. I never thought the church was popular anywhere other than the inner wall. Guess there was some people who still had faith in things like that. I'm sure Pasteur Nick would be pleased. I can't say I agree with it but all the experience I've had with it is from insane preachers and the king. Not the best thing to learn off.

We carry on riding down the overgrown dirt track that goes through the Hamlet, studying the area as we move.

The few houses look like they were once owned by slightly richer people which I don't expect. I wonder what kind of business they had round here.

Mikasa puts the map away and turns her attention to surroundings as I am.

"It's very quiet," I say trying to make some sort of conversation.

"More worrying than anything," she replies with a poker face.

"It could just be a lucky day of peace you know."

Mikasa's face remains blank, "We can't assume that."

I clench my jaw to stop myself from lashing out, could she be any less cheery.

She pulls on her reins next to me making her horse halt.

"Eren look," she calls making me stop too.

I do as she says, looking to what she's on about. A dear carcass lies at the side of the road. Mikasa gets off her horse with one hand on her blade, better to be cautious.

She kneels beside it poking it with her weapon.

It can't have been dead more than 24 hours, the blood around it still looks fresh and fly's buzz around the open wound on its stomach. The contents of its insides are strewn over the grass, its throat ripped open. Despite that it looks far better than its smells.

"That's not a titan's doing," I state, it's a stupidly obvious thing to say to be honest. Titans don't eat animals after all.

"Wild animals," Mikasa declares pushing herself up and stomping back over to her horse.

I can tell the sight makes her uncomfortable.

"Come on," I say riding forwards again.

She nods in agreement her movements slow. She's either angry or upset; it's hard to tell with Mikasa, she might even be both.

"Have you never seen something like that before, nature like that?" I ask her.

She looks at me like I'm stupid. "Of course I have. My Dad use to go out hunting and bring back game regularly. I've seen a rabbit get torn apart by a fox out of my window once. It doesn't bother me in that aspect it's just-,"

She stops talking, like she's processing her thoughts.

"I've come to realise its normal for things to be this way. It's normal to kill for survival, that's how we live right? I just have to remember that. It's all just nature after all. I shouldn't have acted so strangely back there. Letting my emotions get the better of me is weakness."

I stare at her finding it hard to reply to that statement. I knew that's how she was when I met her at first. I didn't know she was so passionate about it now still.

"It's okay to think about that Mikasa. You can still have emotions like that and kill for survival. You're only human."

Mikasa's eyes suddenly widen.

"You're the same Eren. You kill for titans for survival correct, with no regrets," she says, not questioning it.

I look at the ground, she's got me there. "Yeah, I guess so," I reply solemnly. I hope she's only talking about titans here.

Mikasa looks at me sadly realising she hit a nerve within me.

"Sorry forget it," she's says softly, riding forwards.

I follow her giving her a comforting smile. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that girls mind.

* * *

><p>The church looks better than I expected from the outside.<p>

Yes most of the windows are smashed and bits of mahogany door are strewn across the outside path, but despite that, it still looks like a church. Even some of the stained glass is intact, little shards hanging onto the sides of the stone frame windows.

The sunset makes the whole place look slightly eerie.

Mikasa is the first to jump off her horse, keeping her hands on her blades as she walks towards the open doorway. I'm guessing the site of that deer has put her on edge, or more on edge than usual I should say.

I climb down from my saddle too, grabbing the supplies we have already to take inside. It's getting dark so there's no sense unloading it all later when it's pitch black outside.

"This is the right place," Mikasa says poking her head from round the side of the archway. I didn't even realise she had gone in without me.

"Thanks for waiting for me," I say sarcastically making Mikasa roll her eyes.

I look at her for a second hoping she might have made a joke back but that's asking for too much out of Mikasa.

"It's getting dark come on Eren," she orders tying her horse to a post by the door.

Yep, she has no humour at all.

I walk ahead of her into the church, squinting my eyes into the darkness by the back wall. The sun is setting too quickly to see anything now.

I set the supplies on the floor.

"Hey Mikasa, have you got the lamp?" I call back outside.

Behind me I hear her rustling through her bag, rattling sounds echoing into the church hall. I wait a minute trying to see further into the church but it's too shadowy.

Mikasa appears next to me, lamp in one hand, and her bag in the other.

"There's an iron door, left to the altar," she says looking down at a map in her hand.

I look to where she means, seeing the outline of the door frame.

I leave the lamp with Mikasa and wander forwards guided by the light reflecting off marble floor.

Stepping over a broken pew, I think of how weird it is 5 years ago this place could have been filled with choir music and the sight of people worshiping.

It's not like I would have ever come here myself at my own will, but it still would have been interesting to see. Like I said, religion had less attention back then than it does now.

I reach the door and I attempt to twist the handle but it doesn't budge. I check behind me to see Mikasa wandering around on her own. I don't need her help to open a door.

Rattling the door knob violently, it ends up breaking off in my hands, pieces of rusted iron clattering to the floor.

"Eren?" Mikasa calls out hearing the noise.

"It's fine, the damn doors just stuck. Give me a sec."

I feel myself beginning to get agitated. Why would anyone place an iron door in a church anyway?

Using my growing rage I slam my shoulder into the door over and over even when I begin to feel like jelly.

"Stupid fucking door," I mutter though gritted teeth.

It takes me multiple times of my charging at the door to open it. I end up knocking it off its hinges.

The whole thing smashes into the wall making a thin cloud of dust rain from the ceiling.

"Did you get it open?" I hear Mikasa ask from another part of the church, her voice like an echo.

I look down at the fallen iron slab that once was the door.

"You could say that," I say.

Mikasa doesn't reply but I hear her sigh. I think she understands I may have complicated things a little.

I walk into the black space of the room feeling round in my bag for the lamp before remembering Mikasa has it.

"Mikasa, bring the lamp!"

Something clatters from the church hall and I know she's dropped it. She can be clumsy sometimes, she doesn't care to admit it but she is.

"Er, just a minute," she says and I smile, sensing her embarrassment.

Forgetting the need to see, I walk further into the darkness, my fingers brushing the cold stone wall.

There's the familiar damp aroma in the air but also something amiss that makes my nostrils flare.

It's not a welcoming smell.

I trip over a gas canister making me stubble slightly and I leave the sensing of the wall. I tread tentatively into something sticky and wet on the floor. What is this?

My hand incisively covers my mouth to stop the stench that suddenly assaults me. It smells like the deer carcass we saw earlier but a thousand times worse.

Alarm bells go off in my head.

"Mikasa don't come in here!" I exclaim warning her but she's already at the door, the orange tint of the lamp coming with her.

I focus on her eyes and I see them widen in horror at the floor around me. I don't want to look down either but I can't help it.

My eyes force me to take in the mass number of animal carcasses that pile up around the room. Some fresh, some having been left rotting for years.

I notice a small hole in the corner of the room gapes open to the forest outside. Blood smeared all over the stone sides.

"This is a wolves den," Mikasa says her eyes fixated on a fox's head which lies at the tip of my boot.

I shuffle away from it, walking into what I now know is more clotted blood. My toes curl up in disgust making me feel even sicker, the smell making everything a thousand times worse.

"We need to leave," I say walking over to Mikasa. "That fox only looks a couple of hours old. If it's the same pack of wolves that killed that deer we saw back there, they could be back from a hunt any minute."

She nods and I stride quickly over to the door. I turn to try and block it off somehow but Mikasa hasn't even left the room yet. I spot her digging through the chewed supply crates in the corner. Is she stupid?

"Did you not hear me? I said we have to go right now!" I say my voice becoming louder every word.

She continues to rummage around, "I dropped the lamp and the oil leaked out," she says her tone stressed.

I realise what she's saying and I rush over to the boxes helping her look for some oil. We both know going outside at this time without vision means we might as well be dead. If we can't see anything a wolf would easily be able to snatch us off our horses.

We both delve desperately into the supplies.

I find the oil first.

I make a grab for it but I let it slip from my sweat slicken hands onto the floor.

Reaching down quickly to get it, my whole body tenses up.

The oil pot lands into the dried hands of a human skeleton wearing a tattered survey corps uniform, the wings of freedom torn and battered from years of wolf gnawing.

I can't breathe.

Without thinking I snatch up the oil and grab Mikasa's hand, dragging her out of the room. She slaps me telling me to let go but I can't. I don't want to be near that. I don't want to end up like that either.

We reach the horses just when the first wolf cry echo's a few miles away. It won't be long until they pick up our scent.

* * *

><p>In training they always taught us about how deadly the Titans are and I know firsthand that they were wise to tell us that. But never telling us how to escape wolves is another thing. They never thought to teach us about one of humanities historical enemies.<p>

My Father use to tell me about how it was the military garrison's job to control the numbers but that was five years ago. Without human interception the dogs have breaded like wild fire.

I'd take a horde of Titans over a group of wolves any day, especially today, when a pack of them are locking eyes on their next meal, which happens to be two horses and two young soldiers.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed it and please give me feedback of maybe what you liked or what you want to see more of. Always appreciated!<strong>

**I also want to know whose POV you enjoy more. Mikasa's or Eren's? I like to alternate but is one of them better than the other, I can't personally tell.**

**Also the cleaning of the other chapters is still in process. Sorry about that too. As you can tell I'm just so prepared here!**

**Thank you again and see you soon!**


	15. Chapter 15 - The Dangers Of Nature

**Hello again! **

**I give up with timing, It's not like I've ever updated when I said I would. Procrastination skills!**

**Anyway, sorry to anyone who hates my guts for taking so long, I've just started college (UK college so not Uni, just to be clear) so I'm slowly going insane.****However one things for sure I defiantly won't leave this story unfinished. Even if it takes me another 2 years, it will be finished!**

**The ship will sail!**

**Thank you again to anyone who takes their time to read my fanfiction(s) and to the 23,000 viewers who either glanced or read it all. Every reader helps!**

**Enjoy!**

**Wonderfully Beta read by CryDon'tSmile!**

**Disclaimer - AS ALWAYS I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ATTACK ON TITAN, ISAYAMA IS BAE AND WE SHALL KEEP IT THAT WAY.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 15 - The Dangers of Nature<p>

(Eren's POV)

My rib cage feels like it's going to explode from the sheer force of my heart beating. If it wasn't for the wolves' cries I think it would deafen me.

"What's the plan?!" Mikasa shouts across to me from her horse. I can see her hands gripped tightly around the reins; which I can't blame her for. I've never been on horses moving this fast. Sheer terror drives all animals this way.

"We just need to lose them!" I reply, having no plans whatsoever.

Mikasa gives a short nod and begins to drive her horse forward even more. The only way out of this is speed. The forest around us suddenly gets denser, making vision difficult, considering it's already night and the thick foliage isn't helping. I suddenly remember snatching up the oil for a lamp in the church and my hands fumble for the bag that's slung round me. The realisation I got this oil from a dead soldier's hands comes back into my mind and I have to do my best to not gag.

"You got the lamp?" I ask Mikasa, grasping the oil pot in my hand.

"Here," she shouts, throwing it to me. I light what little oil is left in the canister, topping it up with some from the pot. The sudden change in lighting makes my eyes strain. I try to focus on Mikasa, noticing her panicked expression.

"What's up?" I yell.

Her eyes meet mine slowly. Her confused yet worried look takes me aback a little.

"Did you pick up any of the supplies we unloaded at the church?"

I feel the blood drain from my face. All our food, water, gas… I put it by the door when we arrived.

"Shit...Are you fucking serious!"

Desperate, I tear through my shoulder bag I have on looking for anything important I may have picked up but there are only a few measly cans of food, my water skin and the oil pot with matches. My eyes meet Mikasa's again and she mimics me, looking through her bag. My heart relaxes a little when I see her expression soften however. She pulls out the map Levi gave her and waves it in her hand. Without that we would be dead in a week. She places it safely back in her bag. A wolf call comes from behind us making my body stiffen. I snap my neck around, expecting to see the pack snapping at our heels, but all I see is the shadows of the forest. Still, I know they're close. I'm starting to really wonder if we can outrun them; how long can the horses keep this pace?

"How much gas have you got?" I call over to Mikasa, thinking of methods we may have to use.

"Enough," she says, her answer not comforting me at all.

The terrain suddenly changes as we enter a narrow pass, the trees rising above us on steep cliff sides forcing us to go single file down the path with me taking the lead. We're too vulnerable. Just as that thought enters my head I hear the faint yipping of dogs above us on the cliffs. I look up, catching a flash of eyes peering down at me. It's like they read my mind. I turn to warn Mikasa but she's already seen them, her hands already gripped around a sword. Following her lead, I grab mine too as we prepare to fight them off, still galloping on horseback. A few of the smaller wolves emerge from the tree line with their paws knocking pebbles and dust from the top of the ridge, but they don't pounce. A couple more run ahead and join in on scrambling next to us. My eyes dart forwards, tracking where the path bends and my heart jumps when I see a two way split down the passageway no more than two-hundred metres from here. That's our exit.

My voice calling out Mikasa's name can barely be heard above the snarling and stamping but, despite that, it feels like I've just let a bomb go off. Before I even realise what's happening a scrambling mass of grey fur is already lunging onto me from above. I hear Mikasa scream my name but it's a whisper compared to the sound of the animal snapping at my face. My arms desperately try to push it away as it digs its claws into my shoulders, making my skin burn with agony. More wolves attempt to jump in my direction and all I can do is kick them away, leaving me desperately hanging on with one leg. Panicking, I suddenly remember I'm gripping my blade and I do everything I can to twist my arm around the wolf's ribs, planting the weapon deep into its side. It lets out a high pitched whine as it's body slumps off me, down under the hooves of the horse. Another one lunges at me straight after that, but I bat it away with my blade. I hear the sound of gasping behind me and I whip my head around to see Mikasa battling away. She makes them fall like dominos beside her. For a second her head turns to face me and I cringe at the gash she has on her right cheek, blood streaming down her chin. Another wolf draws her attention away from me and she carries on, unfazed by the cut. My horse makes a sudden cry and I whirl back to the front seeing a larger wolf sinking its claws into its neck. I slash it away but it remains planted, the horse now crashing into the sides of the ridge trying to shake off the beast. I look up quickly, seeing we are less than 50 metres from the spilt in the passage. We can still make this. Driven by adrenaline, I slash and stab at the wolf biting at the horse, managing to half decapitate it in the process. I flail my sword around in a frenzy driving off most of the other wolves that slip down the side. The smaller ones hesitate to continue.

"I can see an exit!" I shout back to Mikasa and she replies with some untranslatable scream that sounded positive. I think she gets it.

Despite the pieces of flesh now dangling from its neck my horse makes a sudden last burst for the side slip, darting past any oncoming wolves. It feels like a miracle when we make it past the spilt. My lungs let out a sigh of relief as we draw away from the wolves down the new path, the barks and snarls echoing behind us. I glance back just in time to see them struggling to get down the ridge we left behind, and I doubt most of them will follow.

"Are you injured Eren?" Mikasa hollers to me, her voice slightly hoarse. I give her a thumbs-up despite the fact I'm actually having 50 heart attacks right now.

Deciding we are far enough away from the other path, I slow down slightly to face her. My breath catches when I see her properly. Her face is scratched and bleeding and her clothes are ripped, showing dozens of blossoming bruises. Why is she asking me if I'm alright? I mean, I can see she's losing blood… She's even missing half a finger...

"Mikasa, you-"

"I'm fine Eren," she snaps, her eyes warning me.

I open my mouth to argue but a growing bounding of feet behind us again snaps it shut.

They just don't quit.

"How many?" I call back.

"Just one, I can handle it," Mikasa says shortly, slashing her blade behind her. A howl of pain tells me she did handle it. I feel the tension leave my body a little as she puts her blade away.

"Clear?" I ask.

"Clear as it can be for now," she answers, before taking a quick gulp of water from her water skin.

I really do hope the worst is over.

We slow down a little after Mikasa is convinced the pack have lost interest, the lonely howls echoing in the distance. However, despite what she said, I can't shake the feeling we are still being watched, the shadows of the forest keep playing tricks with my vision. We give the horses a few gulps of our now limited water supply after Mikasa's begins to stumble,, and it's too dark to see but I think it's got a nasty bite wound on its back leg.

"He needs rest," I say looking at Mikasa's horse while Mikasa herself is busy messing with her pack. She must have checked the food we have left about 5 times now; I don't think she can accept everything's pretty much gone. It's been a rough day, that's for sure.

"We can't stop until dawn," she says bluntly, glancing up at the sky. "We've got another hour at the most until then."

I look at her horse again, its back leg limping heavily now. My gut twists as I hope she really isn't going to make that thing walk much further. I don't think it can.

"Mikasa, look at it!" I demand, stopping my own horse in front of hers so I'm blocking the path.

She looks up slowly from her supply check and stares at me with a mild expression of annoyance. I try my best to not bring up the oozing cut she has on her face. Sighing, she tears her gaze from mine and jumps off the saddle, taking the gas lamp with her to the back of the panting animal. I hear her sigh again and I know it's not good. The horse sits down as if it's bracing for the bad news itself. Mikasa looks at me while stroking its behind. "It's got a chunk missing from its upper leg; I'm surprised it isn't bleeding out."

God damn, I didn't want to hear that.

"How long until you think you can run on him again?" I ask, knowing it's not going to be an overnight fix.

Mikasa bends down again looking the cut over again. "A couple of weeks, maybe? I'll have to ride with you until then."

I raise my eyebrows at that last part and feel heat rising on my face. I turn away from Mikasa quickly; that's a bit too close for comfort. I'm about to tell her we can sort all that out once were out of the woods when something catches my eye again. The shadows are playing tricks on me, I'm sure. I squint into the darkness and just as I'm convinced I'm hallucinating from lack of sleep, I see it. I call out to warn Mikasa just as one of two wolves' springs past me and onto Mikasa's bleeding horse, the other pouncing for me. My horse rears at the shock and I tumble backwards onto the forest floor. I glance up to Mikasa hoping for help up but she's already batting away the wolf attacking her horse. I see her take one of its ears off just as its friend snaps at my foot, changing my attentions direction from Mikasa to the wold itself. As I scrabble backwards to get away my back hits the trunk of a tree and I do my best to kick the beast away while at the same time reaching round for a blade. It's apparent that I really can't multitask, but I finally get my sword out, though ending up getting a shallow bite mark under my left boot. I grunt in pain, earning a worried call from Mikasa. I ignore her and continue to struggle against the wolf, feeling very pleased with myself when I manage stab it straight in the head. Pushing the body off me I stand up, leaning against the tree. Another wolf howls from the tree line. The pack must have tracked us and looped round. Thankyou dad for not telling me how smart these fucking animals could be! My head darts to Mikasa who has just finished off the first wolf, and I run over to her and the distressed horse that remains on the ground, now with a fresh wound shredded into its neck.

"Help me get him up!" Mikasa yells pulling at the horse's reins, earning more sounds of pain from it.

I nod and run round to the horses back, pushing as much as I can to get it to his feet but the effort is futile; it's in too much pain. Mikasa continues pulling, anger plastered on her face that tells me she knows it's too late as well. A sudden rustle from the bushes draws my vision and I panic, lunging at Mikasa and taking her to the floor as a wolf jumps into view, going right over us. It sinks its teeth straight into the horse's stomach, ignoring us. The noise the horse makes is traumatic and I have to hold my breath to stop myself from vomiting. Mikasa herself stares in horror at the carnage and all I can do is climb off her and drag us both away to my own horse, leaving the poor thing behind. We're both climbing onto the saddle when another three wolves emerge from further down the path. Mikasa suddenly screams as one dives her way, pulling at her sideways off the saddle. My hand grabs for hers desperately but only our fingers graze and I watch horrified she hits the floor head first. Her face slackens as she loses consciousness. My whole body goes rigid.

Mikasa...

I scream her name distraughtly as I feel raw anger build up inside me, sending me into frenzy. I dive onto the nearest wolf, slashing and gouging at its face and not caring what I hit; so much that I think I cut my own face in the process. It cowers away and I frantically snatch Mikasa's limp body away from another attacker, throwing her onto the horse. I cut the remaining wolf on the nose and it backs off, growling, joining the rest of the pack tearing away at the still struggling horse, leaving me an opening to get out. Backing away, I jump onto the horse, leaving no time to see if Mikasa's okay, only caring about getting the fuck out of here. I don't look back to the scene I leave behind once. The sounds of Mikasa's horse dying mixed with the feeling of her blood seeping from her head through my shirt are enough to give me nightmares already.

I don't even know if she'll wake up.

* * *

><p>(Levi's POV)<p>

"Ah, I miss the taste of tea," I say to myself while drinking from the bottle of shitty lake water I collected this morning. What I wouldn't give for a pot of green tea, or maybe some Earl Grey.

Or maybe a whole bottle of whiskey would hit the spot too…

I take another sip of the disgusting water, trying not to vomit as I look up towards the moon. It must be 2am by the looks of things. That makes three days exactly since I got here. Three days of waiting around for something to happen. Three days of trying to scrub the disgusting cabin I'm in clean with only fucking rats to talk to. Three more days here until I can move anywhere again. Yippee.

I stand up from the extremely uncomfortable log I'm sitting on to stretch. You would think the Survey Corps supply areas would come with some sort of seating to use but apparently sleeping on rock hard floors and waking up with back ache every morning is all included in the job. I quickly feel slightly unhappy thinking about who arranged all the supply areas. I kick the dirt in front of me, mumbling to myself.

"Fucking Erwin and his fucking funding not going on chairs. Fucking Erwin sending a kid to warn me about the king and his men. Fucking Erwin going and dying on me... that piece of shit."

I sit down again suddenly overcome by how alone the thought of everyone being dead or locked up makes me feel. I run my fingers through my hair that hasn't been washed in three days. Ugh.

"H-Hello? Some...one..." a hoarse voice calls from the cabin behind me.

Just what I fucking need.

I stand up, sighing at just the thought of reciting everything that's happened to him in the last three days of him being out of it.

It's time to inform Armin of how I heroically saved his useless life and how I have a plan to find his two just as useless friends. I might also tell him he needs to go and chew some fucking mint leaves for that breath. Giving that guy CPR two times nearly killed me.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't you just love cliff-hangers? But hey! Look on the Brightside, Levi is back! (well sort of)<strong>

**Like I said no promises when it will next be updated but hopefully it will be before the new year!**

**Until next time!**


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